July 14, 2021

Tricks

Tricks

Stories of deception, lost love, and breakfast cereal.


Stories of deception, lost love, and breakfast cereal.  

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About UsWhat happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed? 

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**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**  

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Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.560 --> 00:00:08.830 Greetings and welcome to down to folk. This week is a very special episode. 2 00:00:09.750 --> 00:00:13.990 Who Am I kidding? It's just another week of the same regurgitated bullshit 3 00:00:14.070 --> 00:00:18.230 you have come to expect from a couple of no talent podcasters and a random 4 00:00:18.269 --> 00:00:24.059 dude from San Jose. This episode will more than likely be wildly offensive and 5 00:00:24.339 --> 00:00:28.620 your kids will well, you know the rest. So, if you have 6 00:00:28.859 --> 00:00:39.929 some time to kill, you have come to the right place. On the 7 00:00:40.009 --> 00:00:45.530 island of Crete, Legend has it that a beast of monumental proportions lived and 8 00:00:45.689 --> 00:00:53.479 lurked within a sinister labyrinth created by sadistic King Minos. You see, Minos 9 00:00:53.560 --> 00:00:58.079 was offered a sacrificial white bull by Poseidon, the God who ruled the ocean, 10 00:00:58.759 --> 00:01:03.039 but Minos couldn't part with the brilliant creature and decided instead to keep it 11 00:01:03.439 --> 00:01:08.629 and love it and call it his very own Poseidon, understandably enraged, willed 12 00:01:08.709 --> 00:01:14.390 Queen Pascife, minos wife, to fall in love with the bull, because 13 00:01:14.430 --> 00:01:19.140 any of this was her fucking fault. But you know, Patriarchy and tiny 14 00:01:19.180 --> 00:01:23.700 woman brain and all of that hot trash. Anyway, she did, and 15 00:01:23.939 --> 00:01:30.180 apparently she and the bull banged. Take that minos. Nothing worse than your 16 00:01:30.219 --> 00:01:34.930 wife committing God induced beast reality to put your ass firmly back in your lane 17 00:01:36.129 --> 00:01:41.290 whatever. So she gives birth to a Halfman, half bull, known only 18 00:01:41.409 --> 00:01:47.359 to history as the Minotaur. That wasn't his birth name, however. His 19 00:01:47.519 --> 00:01:51.879 mom was actually a lovely woman who didn't deserve any of this shit, but 20 00:01:52.079 --> 00:01:59.079 she doated on him all the same. So yes, he was named Herman, 21 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:06.829 Herman Minos Crete. I don't actually know how last names worked back then, 22 00:02:06.950 --> 00:02:10.830 so that's as solid gas as I have. In an effort to get 23 00:02:10.870 --> 00:02:16.740 back at Poseidon for his punishment, minos built an extravagant maze within which every 24 00:02:16.900 --> 00:02:23.860 person who entered would die, hopelessly lost and at the furious hands or horns 25 00:02:23.460 --> 00:02:29.580 of the Minotaur, who had been cruelly trapped inside its walls. He had 26 00:02:29.620 --> 00:02:34.129 been ripped from his kindly mother through no fault of his own, and she 27 00:02:34.330 --> 00:02:38.129 lost her beloved child because her husband had an extra grind, and everyone wonders 28 00:02:38.330 --> 00:02:45.080 why the poor bold dude was so angry. By the way, the labyrinth 29 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:50.639 was designed by Daedalus, Icarus Dad and maybe the worst inventor ever, but 30 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:55.719 more about that another time. Now there is a tale of how minos Son 31 00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:04.030 Andrewgios, was slaughtered by the Athenians and Minos took revenge by sending tributes into 32 00:03:04.069 --> 00:03:10.030 the labyrinth each year until theseus came along and volunteered. Minos's daughter, Ariadne, 33 00:03:10.430 --> 00:03:14.979 fell in love with him and, using twine, helped him to find 34 00:03:15.020 --> 00:03:19.780 the Minotaur and kill him and then follow the twine out of the labyrinth. 35 00:03:20.819 --> 00:03:25.300 Theseus then escaped with Ariadne, who had arranged everything down to the tiniest detail, 36 00:03:27.139 --> 00:03:30.370 because let the women do the work and a right. But ultimately he 37 00:03:30.490 --> 00:03:37.849 bailed on her, because of course he did. But that's not actually what 38 00:03:37.969 --> 00:03:44.280 happened. You see, theseus found Herman, but to his surprise, the 39 00:03:44.439 --> 00:03:49.960 creature was more sullen and moby than enraged and lusting from herder. He sat 40 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:54.830 muttering prayers to the Gods to have mercy on him. Hermann was very devout 41 00:03:54.949 --> 00:04:00.150 in his faith and prayed almost constantly. Theseus took pity on him and had 42 00:04:00.189 --> 00:04:04.750 the poor guy follow him ten paces behind out of the maze, where the 43 00:04:04.830 --> 00:04:11.979 Animal Band thing could finally pursue his dreams of moving to New Jersey and partaking 44 00:04:12.419 --> 00:04:16.740 of their most sacred food, egg plants. They really do have the largest 45 00:04:16.740 --> 00:04:20.540 export of those fruits of anywhere in the world. Give it a Goook. 46 00:04:23.060 --> 00:04:28.449 But Alas, New Jersey wouldn't actually exist for thousands of years. Well, 47 00:04:28.449 --> 00:04:31.410 I mean it was there, but it was an estate. It wasn't even 48 00:04:31.449 --> 00:04:36.649 a twinkle in England's eye at that point. Nor was there really in England. 49 00:04:38.170 --> 00:04:41.120 Look, maps have changed a lot. I can't do all your homework 50 00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:46.079 for you. I make up fairy tales. I mean I recount absolutely factual 51 00:04:46.240 --> 00:04:54.110 traditional narrative beloved by the world over and passed down for Genera generations. You 52 00:04:54.230 --> 00:04:58.389 know. At back to the story. So Herman instead set off to tour 53 00:04:58.470 --> 00:05:00.990 Europe, which wasn't called Europe then, but look, you get it. 54 00:05:01.990 --> 00:05:08.019 He climbed the Alps, he danced at octoberfest, caught a stone's concert in 55 00:05:08.060 --> 00:05:16.459 Amsterdam, really hated the running of m his people. In Barcelona he even 56 00:05:16.500 --> 00:05:21.490 watched a guy test out a parachute by jumping from the Eiffel Tower. It 57 00:05:23.370 --> 00:05:28.569 didn't work. He became a parachute pancake. There is footage of this. 58 00:05:30.930 --> 00:05:34.009 It was while on a repertory in London he caught the eye of a beautiful 59 00:05:34.250 --> 00:05:39.720 ethereal woman. She had never seen a creature such as this, but, 60 00:05:39.879 --> 00:05:44.839 despite the jarring juxtaposition of the Bull's head with the man's body, well, 61 00:05:45.560 --> 00:05:50.310 he has actually really handsome. She was instantly smitten. When the tour came 62 00:05:50.389 --> 00:05:55.790 to an end, she fluttered to him in his rented flat for the night. 63 00:05:57.470 --> 00:06:02.550 He was instantly mesmerized by her glowing countenance. Hello, Herman, I 64 00:06:02.629 --> 00:06:09.939 am your fairy lady friend. Cheep coughed. She really didn't want to make 65 00:06:10.060 --> 00:06:13.259 this. We hurt. I know, Kinda missed the boat on that one. 66 00:06:15.300 --> 00:06:20.810 You, you are who I yes, and I have fallen in love 67 00:06:20.889 --> 00:06:27.209 with you, Minatar. He rubbed his eyes, barely believing what he was 68 00:06:27.290 --> 00:06:31.370 seeing. Then I shall take you as my wife and we can travel the 69 00:06:31.410 --> 00:06:38.199 world together. I love you. What's your name? Kelly, she responded. 70 00:06:38.959 --> 00:06:43.120 I love you, Kelly. You're an answer to all of my prayers, 71 00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:48.029 and I pray a lot. The two embraced passionately and settled into a 72 00:06:48.149 --> 00:06:56.949 fiery night of M adult cuddles. As the blue light of morning illuminated the 73 00:06:56.990 --> 00:07:01.220 room, the fairy godmother glanced around, blinking and realized she was alone. 74 00:07:02.100 --> 00:07:05.980 A note sat on the night stand next to the bed and she gingerly picked 75 00:07:06.019 --> 00:07:12.139 it up and read. My Darling, I meant what I said when I 76 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:15.490 told you I love you, but I felt an overwhelming desire to go and 77 00:07:15.730 --> 00:07:23.209 serve the Gods of my home land as a chaste and pure disciple. I 78 00:07:23.370 --> 00:07:28.129 don't wish to cost you pain, but alas, my higher calling gives me 79 00:07:28.449 --> 00:07:34.439 no choice. Farewell, My love, I will never forget you. She 80 00:07:34.519 --> 00:07:39.600 dropped the note to her lap and her usual scowl popped back onto her face. 81 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:43.399 That son of a bedch of course she had to go and fall in 82 00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:47.870 love with a religious Cretan. She sighed and straightened her already perfect hair and, 83 00:07:48.069 --> 00:07:51.269 waving her finger in a circle, gazed into the scene before her. 84 00:07:53.310 --> 00:07:58.980 There is a man, a sweet and charming man, baking egg plants and 85 00:07:59.060 --> 00:08:07.300 dreaming of love. She smirked. Well, that's how baseball go and in 86 00:08:07.379 --> 00:08:13.129 a bright flash she disappeared into the ether, her own higher calling drawing her 87 00:08:13.170 --> 00:08:33.960 away. Really, is it just me, or is this turning into the 88 00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:37.559 first season of Gotham, you know, where they give you the back story 89 00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:43.149 for every character, but the one you really want to see? Anyway, 90 00:08:43.509 --> 00:08:46.870 I digress. It's Rejordan time. Let's see what he has in store fill 91 00:08:46.909 --> 00:08:56.100 US around his tinkel encased camp fire. The rabbit, as he liked to 92 00:08:56.139 --> 00:09:01.179 be called, sat quietly at the bar, waiting for another fruity cocktail that 93 00:09:01.299 --> 00:09:05.419 he so enjoyed. Anthony Sat next to him, drinking a white Russian. 94 00:09:07.019 --> 00:09:11.450 The rabbit hated Anthony and his positive outlook on life. No matter what Anthony 95 00:09:11.529 --> 00:09:16.409 did, it was great. The rabbit did the same thing as anthony, 96 00:09:16.889 --> 00:09:22.769 but his rewards were never received and his spirits were always dashed. The rabbit 97 00:09:22.889 --> 00:09:26.480 watched the triplets, SC P, as they like to be called, and 98 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:33.039 her ratio play video poker. The rabbit always felt uncomfortable. How Horatio always 99 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:37.159 surrounded himself with those three. It was a weird sexual dynamic that he didn't 100 00:09:37.159 --> 00:09:41.350 want to think of, not because they were men, but because SC and 101 00:09:41.470 --> 00:09:46.669 p were just a little too happy and and Horatio, well, he was 102 00:09:46.789 --> 00:09:50.870 just a crunchy old sea captain with a lot going on. The images that 103 00:09:50.070 --> 00:09:56.259 flashed in the rabbit's head were unsettling. Three against one. To each their 104 00:09:56.299 --> 00:10:01.220 own, but the rabbit wasn't into it at all. Dighum stood at the 105 00:10:01.259 --> 00:10:05.980 Juke box picking out music, smacking his lips at the selections before him. 106 00:10:07.409 --> 00:10:11.210 He always picked good tunes. He and sugar bear had great taste in music. 107 00:10:11.529 --> 00:10:13.769 No matter what the mood was, they seemed to get the soundtrack right. 108 00:10:15.210 --> 00:10:18.409 The rabbit thought about his life, starting out as a magician's assistant, 109 00:10:18.730 --> 00:10:24.440 then becoming a spokesperson for breakfast goods. He thought, with the endorsement gigs 110 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:28.120 he'd received, that he would be rolling in dough like the others who hung 111 00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:31.840 out in in this bar. All of them were famous and well liked. 112 00:10:31.519 --> 00:10:37.470 The rabbit was not loved, even though his name was on the Goddamn box. 113 00:10:37.789 --> 00:10:43.509 Anthony took a delicate swig from his drink and turned to the rabbit. 114 00:10:43.350 --> 00:10:48.870 Why so Glum, Chum? His bare toned voice roared over the music. 115 00:10:48.909 --> 00:10:56.259 Leave me alone, the rabbit muttered nervously. Ah, you don't look so 116 00:10:56.620 --> 00:11:01.379 gry. If you saved that word again, that Bandanna will become your noise. 117 00:11:01.779 --> 00:11:07.409 Just leave me alone. The rabbit cut anthony off. Everyone here spoke 118 00:11:07.490 --> 00:11:09.850 in the lingo of their product. It was like they would get paid each 119 00:11:09.929 --> 00:11:15.730 time they said their product tagline. The rabbits lingle was never conversation friendly and 120 00:11:15.929 --> 00:11:20.679 therefore the residuals never paid off in the end for a guard named the rabbit. 121 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:26.759 You seem to be unlucky. Anthony Chuckled. So what's going on? 122 00:11:26.840 --> 00:11:31.519 Same Shit, different day. The rabbit stared at the bottom of his drink. 123 00:11:31.000 --> 00:11:37.029 Hey Sam, how about another SAM? The owner of the bar looked 124 00:11:37.029 --> 00:11:41.029 at Anthony and looked at the rabbit. I follow my nose and I think 125 00:11:41.149 --> 00:11:45.750 you've had enough. No truest statement could be said. The rabbit looked at 126 00:11:45.750 --> 00:11:50.460 SAM, dishearten. You know, you might want to pay a visit to 127 00:11:50.539 --> 00:11:56.139 lucky. Anthony spoke under his breath. He has a way of making changes. 128 00:11:56.860 --> 00:12:01.340 I mean, that guy turned a lot of our luck around. Look 129 00:12:01.340 --> 00:12:05.929 at what he did for Cornelius in cocoa. The rabbit hated to admit it, 130 00:12:05.049 --> 00:12:11.129 but Anthony was right. Despite being a mascot himself, lucky had the 131 00:12:11.250 --> 00:12:18.080 goods and delivered. Only thing was it came at a price. Anthony pulled 132 00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:22.919 out his phone and began to call. Hey Lucky, it's me anthony. 133 00:12:24.639 --> 00:12:28.240 I have the rabbit here and he's a little down on his luck. Maybe 134 00:12:28.440 --> 00:12:35.230 you can help him. MMM MMM. Anthony nodded his head and growled an 135 00:12:35.230 --> 00:12:39.070 agreement to what was being said on the other end of the phone. All 136 00:12:39.110 --> 00:12:43.580 right, I'll tell him. Anthony closed the phone and turned to the rabbit. 137 00:12:45.340 --> 00:12:52.259 He'll meet you at oshanneries tonight, midnight. Thanks. The rabbit stammered, 138 00:12:52.860 --> 00:12:56.700 paid his bill and, hurt headed out the door. Hey, Tony, 139 00:12:56.299 --> 00:13:03.809 despite what everyone says about you, I think you great. The rabbit 140 00:13:03.929 --> 00:13:09.850 smiled, ironically, leaving the bar and the other mascots behind for shantteries was 141 00:13:09.850 --> 00:13:13.120 a dive bar at the end of the street. The rabbit had stayed clear 142 00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:16.720 of it as it was a European Mascot territory, which was funny because, 143 00:13:16.759 --> 00:13:22.679 despite the accent, lucky was American. He passed by sugar puff, monster 144 00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:26.789 and Coco as he entered the darkly lit bar you have for lucky, sugar 145 00:13:26.830 --> 00:13:31.789 puff gruffly spoke. The rabbit guessed that for a second job, sugar puff 146 00:13:33.070 --> 00:13:39.149 must have also been a bouncer. Yes, he said, to meet him 147 00:13:39.149 --> 00:13:43.460 at the rabbit looked at his watch, which read three minutes to midnight. 148 00:13:43.259 --> 00:13:48.740 Midnight, sugar puff laughed. What doesn't the rabbit have luck of his own? 149 00:13:50.019 --> 00:13:54.059 I mean, you got four feet, if they supposed to be lucky? 150 00:13:54.860 --> 00:13:58.529 The rabbit smiled. Never heard that one before. Puffy and walked into 151 00:13:58.570 --> 00:14:03.929 the bar. The place was dark and seedy. In the far corner frank 152 00:14:03.970 --> 00:14:09.769 and Berry, booberry and Count Chocola or in a serious conversation about why their 153 00:14:09.809 --> 00:14:13.720 brands only came out during Halloween. I mean, we have grooved enough for 154 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:18.600 the ist to the year right. The rabbit hurt the count mutter. They're 155 00:14:18.679 --> 00:14:22.799 in the furthest booths at Lucky, all dressed in green, his red hair 156 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:28.710 perfectly quaffed, unders green bowler. Have a seat, we lad have a 157 00:14:28.789 --> 00:14:33.870 seat. Lucky. Motion to the Rabbit who sat down at the booth. 158 00:14:33.590 --> 00:14:37.950 So and then he told me, you are down on your luck. Lucky 159 00:14:37.029 --> 00:14:41.740 smiled. Kind of Ironic, if you ask me, a rabbit down on 160 00:14:41.899 --> 00:14:46.419 his luck. He laughed, at drunken laugh. But uh, I have 161 00:14:46.539 --> 00:14:50.700 seen worse. So what could I do? Wea for Woll and. With 162 00:14:50.860 --> 00:14:56.330 that, the Rabbit explained a dilemma, how he was the spokesperson for his 163 00:14:56.490 --> 00:15:00.129 brand and yet he never seemed to get anything from it. And the Rabbit 164 00:15:00.129 --> 00:15:03.730 stated how he hated the kids he worked with because at the end of the 165 00:15:03.809 --> 00:15:07.039 day they got everything and he got nothing. It was so demeaning and and 166 00:15:07.399 --> 00:15:13.320 he was tired of it. Lucky nodded his head and understanding whool children, 167 00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:20.080 how I hate them, always going after me, lucky charms. Lucky's eyes 168 00:15:20.120 --> 00:15:24.509 narrowed, but I think I could help you, and with that, lucky 169 00:15:24.549 --> 00:15:28.990 gave the rabbit a plan that would be executed the next day. The rabbit 170 00:15:30.029 --> 00:15:33.990 woke the next morning slightly hung over but filled with a new found hope that 171 00:15:33.149 --> 00:15:37.059 today was going to be different. He drove to the studio where the commercial 172 00:15:37.179 --> 00:15:41.940 was to be filmed. The rabbit reached into his pocket once on set and 173 00:15:43.139 --> 00:15:48.500 pulled out a marshmallow rainbow that lucky had given him. Here goes everything. 174 00:15:50.409 --> 00:15:54.610 The rabbit swallowed the rainbow and immediately he began to feel something. As usual, 175 00:15:54.730 --> 00:15:58.049 there was a rude Goldberg machine set up to prevent the kids from getting 176 00:15:58.090 --> 00:16:03.330 the rabbit cereal. The device was a series of ropes and pulls and had 177 00:16:03.370 --> 00:16:04.799 a blade at the end that would cut the rope and trap the kids in 178 00:16:04.919 --> 00:16:08.799 a cage so that the rabbit could finally get the serial he wanted. It 179 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.679 was as if the Rainbow Charm gave him the ability to see everything so clearly 180 00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:17.840 laid out that he was able to visualize what he needed to be done, 181 00:16:18.710 --> 00:16:22.710 but he had to make it look like an accident. The kids, those 182 00:16:22.750 --> 00:16:26.470 obnoxious kids, sat in their trailer while the rabbit rehearsed with the stunt coordinator 183 00:16:26.549 --> 00:16:30.629 on the whole set up. When it was time, and after the rabbit 184 00:16:30.669 --> 00:16:33.259 had studied where he was to be in order to start the whole set up, 185 00:16:33.620 --> 00:16:37.259 the kids were escorted out of their trailers and onto the set. Hey, 186 00:16:37.299 --> 00:16:41.899 rabbit, you gotta get that. Get them this time. The boy 187 00:16:41.940 --> 00:16:45.179 snicker, maybe, but I have a feeling you're going to get it. 188 00:16:45.580 --> 00:16:51.690 The rabbit smiled. Dah, it's in the scrapt the girl rolled her eyes. 189 00:16:52.049 --> 00:16:56.289 The director got the kids to their marks, but didn't see that the 190 00:16:56.330 --> 00:17:00.929 rabbit had switched the basket with the blade. Rolling began. As the kids 191 00:17:00.970 --> 00:17:07.079 were running towards him. The Rabbit started the Rude Goldberg Machine. A series 192 00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:10.720 of actions began to play out and, as usual, something was to go 193 00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:15.549 wrong and the rabbit would be caught. However, this time things went horribly 194 00:17:15.670 --> 00:17:19.990 wrong. The ball hit the weight and the weight swung and hit the lever 195 00:17:21.109 --> 00:17:22.990 and the lever dropped on the sand bag, releasing the Arrow to the balloon 196 00:17:23.069 --> 00:17:26.869 that popped and dropped the coin onto the scale, which lifted the arm attached 197 00:17:26.910 --> 00:17:30.500 to the rope, and I would lower the blade that would cut the rope, 198 00:17:30.660 --> 00:17:33.180 that would drop the basket on the rabbit. However, the scale jammed 199 00:17:33.220 --> 00:17:37.460 and the machine began to wobble, causing the blade to fall faster than expected 200 00:17:37.539 --> 00:17:41.220 towards the children whose eyes, who stood with eyes wide, at the horrible 201 00:17:41.259 --> 00:17:48.369 actions that would cause their certain deaths. In that moment, the rabbit had 202 00:17:48.410 --> 00:17:52.130 a change of heart. While he wanted the kids to be dead, he 203 00:17:52.289 --> 00:17:59.680 also knew killing children wasn't right. The rabbit leapt from his spot and push 204 00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:03.640 the kids to safety, as the blade came down up on his foot, 205 00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:07.880 severing it completely off, and ambulance was called. The rabbit was rushed to 206 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:11.359 the hospital where the doctors, due to the sharpness of the blade, were 207 00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:17.670 unable to reattach the rabbit's foot. But thanks to labor laws and workers compensation 208 00:18:17.869 --> 00:18:22.710 and disability insurance, the rabbit got a huge pay day and never had to 209 00:18:22.789 --> 00:18:29.539 work again, especially with children. So in a way his foot was lucky. 210 00:18:30.619 --> 00:18:33.500 As for the children, while they were traumatized from the events, and 211 00:18:33.700 --> 00:18:38.660 they too never worked in the industry again. So in a way the rabbits. 212 00:18:38.700 --> 00:18:44.650 Planned worked. As for lucky he got paid with a new charm, 213 00:18:45.410 --> 00:18:49.890 the rabbit's foot, which now sat prominently on a shelf behind his booth at 214 00:18:49.970 --> 00:19:07.799 oceannery's. Wait a minute, did we just have a rainbow and children in 215 00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:12.190 the same story? And no child death? Jordan, you are slipping. 216 00:19:14.069 --> 00:19:18.750 I expect that from the chat, but not you. Oh yes, the 217 00:19:18.869 --> 00:19:22.869 chat. Let's see what a wold winning pros he has for us this week. 218 00:19:32.140 --> 00:19:40.569 This is a creation from American poet, Fashionista and hairstyle connoisseur Wayne Cochrane. 219 00:19:42.569 --> 00:19:49.089 We were out on a date in my daddy's car. We hadn't driven 220 00:19:49.089 --> 00:19:59.200 very far. There in the road straight ahead a car was stalled. The 221 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:07.230 engine was dead. I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right. 222 00:20:07.269 --> 00:20:18.549 I'll never forget the sound that night, the screaming tires, the bustin glass, 223 00:20:21.190 --> 00:20:30.380 the painful scream that I heard last when I woke up, the rain 224 00:20:30.819 --> 00:20:40.609 was pouring down, there were people standing all around, something warm flowing through 225 00:20:40.730 --> 00:20:48.849 my eyes, but somehow I found my baby that night. I lifted her 226 00:20:48.890 --> 00:20:55.920 head. She looked at me and said hold me, darling, just a 227 00:20:56.079 --> 00:21:03.319 little. While I held her close, I kissed her. Our last kiss, 228 00:21:04.470 --> 00:21:12.910 I found the love that I had missed, and now she's gone. 229 00:21:15.109 --> 00:21:22.420 Even though I hold her tight, I lost my love, my life that 230 00:21:22.579 --> 00:21:33.009 night. Where, oh where, can my baby be? The Lord took 231 00:21:33.089 --> 00:21:41.089 her away from me. She's gone to heaven. So I gotta be good 232 00:21:42.250 --> 00:21:56.920 so I can see my baby when I leave this world. I hate to 233 00:21:56.039 --> 00:22:00.079 be the one to point out the obvious, but if you rhyme good with 234 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:03.190 world, you are not going to heaven. Speaking of people not going to 235 00:22:03.309 --> 00:22:08.670 heaven, this episode was mostly written and performed by aerial Chad and Prajordan. 236 00:22:10.710 --> 00:22:15.670 Distribution continues to be provided by the pot fix net work. At PODFIX NETWORK 237 00:22:15.819 --> 00:22:21.579 DOT COM. Visit down to Fulcditi F st ories across all social media and 238 00:22:21.740 --> 00:22:26.740 online at DTF storiescom. Support for this show comes from listeners like you. 239 00:22:27.339 --> 00:22:34.009 Visit DTF storiescom. Support for more information. On behalf of the Ministry of 240 00:22:34.130 --> 00:22:40.890 augmented something, something and a k. This is Lloyd Warrington signing off. 241 00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:48.799 You've been listening to a podcast of the pod fix network. Discover more audible 242 00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:52.720 gym's like this at pod fix networkcom. Make sure to catch up to the 243 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:56.960 minute. Networks and Aigan's by following at pod fix on twitter, official, 244 00:22:57.000 --> 00:23:02.710 underscore pod fix on Instagram, at pod fix network on Facebook, and make 245 00:23:02.710 --> 00:23:06.549 sure to subscribe to pod fix presents. Wherever you choose to find podcasts, 246 00:23:07.109 --> 00:23:26.650 the pod fix network artist own them. Lovello. Hello Ariel. I'm sorry 247 00:23:27.049 --> 00:23:36.450 for Jordan. That's not part of the rules, but I do feel a 248 00:23:36.529 --> 00:23:41.759 little bad. As soon as Dana comes back, I will have him move 249 00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:47.799 into a proper studio, but beyond that you must keep writing like the rest 250 00:23:47.839 --> 00:23:48.160 of us.