The Rainbow Bridge

WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:06.879 The following is still not real, but it is really part of the pod 2 00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:11.990 fix network and continues to be a mediocre collection of folk tales told by two 3 00:00:12.029 --> 00:00:18.309 independent podcasters, and by independent I mean no one knows who they are and, 4 00:00:18.550 --> 00:00:24.460 quite frankly, no one cares. The names, dates, places and 5 00:00:24.699 --> 00:00:28.339 facts within have not been verified in any way, as we don't have that 6 00:00:28.500 --> 00:00:35.729 kind of budget. Some stories may contain adult themes, but what fantastical story 7 00:00:35.890 --> 00:00:42.409 doesn't? If you are listening with children, child protective services has been dispatched 8 00:00:42.609 --> 00:00:47.890 to your most recent location. Now, if you excuse me, I will 9 00:00:47.929 --> 00:00:53.399 leave you to enjoy whatever this is by. On the other hand, am 10 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:58.159 going to watch reruns of the office that I purchased on DVD like a grown 11 00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:11.549 up. Take that netflix haters. Once upon a time, a little girl 12 00:01:11.790 --> 00:01:15.750 and a little boy. We are playing by a small waterfall in the forest 13 00:01:15.870 --> 00:01:19.500 of the Appalachian Mountains. The children were the best of friends and might as 14 00:01:19.540 --> 00:01:25.019 well have been brother and sister. As they played, splashing in the water, 15 00:01:25.620 --> 00:01:29.180 a bear approached, frightening them both onto the opposite bank of the Creek. 16 00:01:30.260 --> 00:01:33.890 In the silence, they watched the Jesus bugs glide over the surface of 17 00:01:33.930 --> 00:01:38.810 the water. Unaware of the impending violence, the girl's voice faltered as she 18 00:01:38.930 --> 00:01:45.170 meekly entreated the bear to spare them. Oh, mother bear, please don't 19 00:01:45.209 --> 00:01:48.760 eat us. We are just two tiny children and hardly worth your time. 20 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:53.239 The bear cocked her head to the side. But you would make such a 21 00:01:53.439 --> 00:02:00.359 simple snack right now, and I'm mighty hungry. The boy then spoke up. 22 00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:06.950 Please, mother bear, don't eat us. Will do anything. At 23 00:02:07.030 --> 00:02:13.189 this the bear's lips spread into a frightening toothy grin. Well, that's quite 24 00:02:13.229 --> 00:02:17.939 the bargain. Okay, I'll tell you what you girl, you will stay 25 00:02:17.979 --> 00:02:22.979 here. Was Me. Boy, you will go and retrieve three things for 26 00:02:23.139 --> 00:02:28.180 me. The first is an ostrich feather of pure bronze. You will have 27 00:02:28.300 --> 00:02:32.650 to fight a venomous snake to get it. Good luck, boy. As 28 00:02:32.689 --> 00:02:37.449 the boy left his friend sitting on one side of the bank and the bear 29 00:02:37.569 --> 00:02:43.330 shitting on the other, he was overwhelmed with anxiety. A snake he could 30 00:02:43.330 --> 00:02:46.520 be killed, but if he didn't try, his friend would be killed. 31 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:53.439 It was a dire situation indeed. The boy drew closer to the snake's layer 32 00:02:53.879 --> 00:02:58.909 and began to shake, trying to steal himself for the danger. As he 33 00:02:58.949 --> 00:03:01.629 heard the crackling of the boys steps on the leaves and twigs, the snake 34 00:03:01.750 --> 00:03:10.349 slithered out and hissed menacingly. Who is set that disturbs SMIC slumber? The 35 00:03:10.509 --> 00:03:15.180 boy, unsure if his abilities to fight, as he was only six years 36 00:03:15.180 --> 00:03:20.020 old and kind of a woof, decided to see if he could use persuasion 37 00:03:20.180 --> 00:03:23.780 to convince the snake to give him the feather. Snake, I am just 38 00:03:24.020 --> 00:03:29.530 a small boy with a big request. I need the ostrich feather of pure 39 00:03:29.569 --> 00:03:32.330 bronze to give to mother bear to save the life of my best friend. 40 00:03:34.009 --> 00:03:38.930 Please, snake, I will do anything. The snake raised up. Well, 41 00:03:38.050 --> 00:03:45.439 that's quite the bargain. Okay, I'll tell you what. You will 42 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:53.639 go and retrieve three things for me. The first is a spoon of pure 43 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:58.590 Ruby. You'll need to fight a cougar to get it. Good luck, 44 00:03:58.750 --> 00:04:03.750 boy. The boy was momentarily relieved to be out of danger, but realized 45 00:04:03.789 --> 00:04:09.349 he was just walking into more. As his footsteps crackled to the Cougar leapt 46 00:04:09.430 --> 00:04:15.580 from her perch and roared. Is it that disturbs my slumber? The boy 47 00:04:15.659 --> 00:04:19.060 swallowed and began looker. I am just a small boy with a weak body 48 00:04:19.180 --> 00:04:24.810 in a big request. I need the spoon of pure ruby to give to 49 00:04:24.889 --> 00:04:28.930 the snake, for the ostrich feather of pure bronze to return to mother bear, 50 00:04:29.009 --> 00:04:31.290 to save the life of my best friend. Please, Cougar, I 51 00:04:31.370 --> 00:04:39.040 will do anything. The Cougar Sat pertly and began licking her paw. Well, 52 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:43.959 that's quite the bargain. Okay, I'll tell you what you will go 53 00:04:44.079 --> 00:04:47.199 into tree. Three things for me. The first is a Moose Statue of 54 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:53.629 pure gold. You'll have to cross and narrow and perilous bridge to get to 55 00:04:53.790 --> 00:04:59.350 it. Good luck, boy. The boy's courage was growing, but so 56 00:04:59.629 --> 00:05:02.189 was his hunger. He approached the bridge but found a large stone to sit 57 00:05:02.269 --> 00:05:05.949 on and rest his legs. He peered around him, looking for something that 58 00:05:06.029 --> 00:05:11.139 would make for a good snack. That's when he saw the berries on a 59 00:05:11.220 --> 00:05:16.779 small Bush hidden by foliage, glowing berries. They looked so delicious he couldn't 60 00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:20.850 help himself. He felt his hands and knees and crawled to them. His 61 00:05:21.050 --> 00:05:27.730 eyes transfixed on the illuminated orbs. He reached out to touch them and placed 62 00:05:27.810 --> 00:05:30.970 one gingerly in his mouth. It was the most delicious thing he had ever 63 00:05:31.089 --> 00:05:35.800 tasted, and that's when the idea dawned on him. He could use the 64 00:05:35.920 --> 00:05:40.639 berries to barter for the items so he could return to his best friend and 65 00:05:40.839 --> 00:05:45.480 save her life. He picked every Harry he could and thrust them into his 66 00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:49.990 ragged knapsack. All he had to do was retrieved the most statue of pure 67 00:05:50.069 --> 00:05:56.509 gold and he could be on his way. He stepped upon the Rickety Bridge, 68 00:05:56.949 --> 00:06:00.189 trying to steady himself as it swung over the open creek below. He 69 00:06:00.149 --> 00:06:05.060 closed his eyes and kept inching forward. He could see the statue in front 70 00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:10.019 of him, glittering in the rays that broke through the branches. When he 71 00:06:10.139 --> 00:06:14.300 reached the end of the bridge, he ran to the statue, clutched it 72 00:06:14.420 --> 00:06:17.970 tightly and began to run across the bridge. But in his excitement and haste 73 00:06:18.009 --> 00:06:24.569 he had forgotten the cardinal rule of rickety bridges. You must take them slowly. 74 00:06:25.810 --> 00:06:30.290 The bridge rocked and he was pitched from it into the thrashing water and 75 00:06:30.329 --> 00:06:38.480 rocks below, mercifully dying instantly. It was gory and horrible. I'll spare 76 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:45.199 you the details. The Cougar never got her statue, the snake never got 77 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:48.589 his spoon, the bear never got her feather, though. The girl was 78 00:06:48.709 --> 00:06:55.189 gobbled up moments after the boy's departure. Mother bear never intended to spare her 79 00:06:55.189 --> 00:06:58.910 at all. She was going to eat the boy when he returned as well. 80 00:07:00.389 --> 00:07:04.459 Mother bear was a real bitch. But as the mingled child drifted down 81 00:07:04.500 --> 00:07:10.939 the river, the glowing berries escaped the knapsack and became caught upon a rock 82 00:07:11.100 --> 00:07:15.170 that jutted into the Stream. A mist began to rise as the water struck 83 00:07:15.250 --> 00:07:19.970 the berries. As each burst, it created a streak of color across the 84 00:07:20.089 --> 00:07:28.329 sky, a glorious spectrum of rich vibrancy red, orange, yellow, green, 85 00:07:28.970 --> 00:07:34.040 blue, indigo and violet. Such a spectacle had never been seen before. 86 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:41.560 And that, my friends, is how the first rainbow was made and 87 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:46.990 how little boys are foolish and little girls are useless and animals are greedy and 88 00:07:47.189 --> 00:07:54.389 bears can't be trusted. There are many lessons in this story, but most 89 00:07:54.430 --> 00:08:01.259 importantly, don't run on decrepit narrow bridges. But if you do, with 90 00:08:01.540 --> 00:08:05.899 your knapsack or pockets filled with glowing berries from Bush you had never seen before, 91 00:08:07.019 --> 00:08:13.569 and you're throne from that bridge on to the GNASHING waters below, body 92 00:08:15.170 --> 00:08:24.569 fragmented splattering against the rugged rocks, whisked away to bloat and never be found 93 00:08:24.649 --> 00:08:30.560 by loved ones. And those berries come out of your knapsack and get stuck 94 00:08:30.600 --> 00:08:35.320 upon a rock, maybe one shutting out into the creek and the water. 95 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:39.320 Water is it a speed that it hits them just right and each bursts in 96 00:08:39.480 --> 00:08:48.789 the right order to create red and orange and yellow and green and blue and 97 00:08:48.070 --> 00:08:54.779 indigo and violet. You can remember it as Roygiebiv across the sky in a 98 00:08:54.860 --> 00:09:03.179 spectrum of color. And maybe maybe your death, maybe running on that bridge. 99 00:09:03.379 --> 00:09:11.970 It's worth it. Oh the splendid things we learn from the wonderful world 100 00:09:13.009 --> 00:09:18.289 of podcasts. This is odd. We're receiving a transmission from an alternate universe. 101 00:09:20.250 --> 00:09:24.559 It appears that Chad is the host of a children's program this cannot be 102 00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:37.559 good. I can't wait to listen. Hi, boys and girls, do 103 00:09:37.669 --> 00:09:43.309 you like playing? Of course you do. Playing is fun. You can 104 00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:48.549 play with your friends, you can play with your parents. Sometimes you can 105 00:09:48.629 --> 00:09:54.700 even play with yourself. Some people prefer to play with themselves. Do you 106 00:09:54.779 --> 00:10:01.659 ever play with toys? Playing with toys can be fun for everyone. What's 107 00:10:01.779 --> 00:10:07.009 your favorite toy? WHO, Lily says she likes playing with her rabbit. 108 00:10:07.889 --> 00:10:13.769 I know lots of little girls that have fun playing with their rabbits. Lily 109 00:10:13.889 --> 00:10:20.169 says sometimes she shares her rabbit with her brother. Oh what's that, Tommy? 110 00:10:20.009 --> 00:10:24.440 How do you know Lily has a cat? What about balls? Do 111 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:31.759 you like balls? Course you do. Everyone loves playing with balls. Boys 112 00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.950 like playing with balls, girls like playing with balls. He even mommies and 113 00:10:37.029 --> 00:10:41.389 daddy's like to play with balls. Come on, everybody, let's all play 114 00:10:41.429 --> 00:10:46.309 with our balls together. If you don't have balls, ask a friend. 115 00:10:46.950 --> 00:10:54.059 Maybe they'll let you play with their balls. Wasn't that fun? Oh look 116 00:10:54.139 --> 00:11:01.500 outside, there's a rainbow. Come on, everybody, grab your balls and 117 00:11:01.620 --> 00:11:05.889 let's run down to the stream and see if we can find the dead body, 118 00:11:07.690 --> 00:11:13.450 because we all know at the end of the rainbow is a dead body. 119 00:11:16.850 --> 00:11:22.720 Oh look, there he is. He made a mess on the rocks, 120 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:31.039 but he made a beautiful rainbow. Or let's look at his body closely 121 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:35.830 and see what we can find. WHO This is Yucky. See, boys 122 00:11:35.870 --> 00:11:45.309 and girls, this little boy broke his neck really bad. It's called internal 123 00:11:45.509 --> 00:11:54.539 decapitation. Can you say that very good? Oh dear, it's getting dark. 124 00:11:54.820 --> 00:11:58.700 We have to say goodbye for now. I'm going to put this stick 125 00:11:58.740 --> 00:12:05.049 right here so we can easily find this body next time, and next week 126 00:12:05.529 --> 00:12:15.529 will learn all about necrophilia. Are you excited? I am too. Goodbye, 127 00:12:15.610 --> 00:12:26.240 everybody. Will see you real soon. Would you look at that? 128 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:31.549 You still have not been deterred by the steaming pile of content we have been 129 00:12:31.669 --> 00:12:37.909 feeding you. We promised to try harder next time. Our Lovely Rainbow Origin 130 00:12:37.110 --> 00:12:43.620 Story was written and performed by aerial cooksie of the malice podcast. Congratulations on 131 00:12:43.779 --> 00:12:48.580 that huge left turn you've made from true crime. Chad Brock, Braider of 132 00:12:48.620 --> 00:12:54.259 the perfect package podcast, is solely responsible for today. is Mr Rogers fan 133 00:12:54.419 --> 00:13:01.610 fiction. For additional stories and content, visit DT F storiescom or at DTF 134 00:13:01.850 --> 00:13:07.970 stories across all social media. Our distribution partners at the pod fix network can 135 00:13:09.049 --> 00:13:15.519 be found at www dot pod fix networkcom. And don't forget, if you 136 00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:22.120 are DTF, visit the down to folk patreon at patreoncom slash DTF stories for 137 00:13:22.279 --> 00:13:31.190 exclusive content and live simulation events. Oh Great, it appears that our Trans 138 00:13:31.230 --> 00:13:39.509 Universe transponder has gone missing. So much for my relaxing week off. You've 139 00:13:39.509 --> 00:13:43.539 been listening to a podcast of the pod fix network. Discover more audible gym's 140 00:13:43.620 --> 00:13:46.419 like this at pod fix networkcom. Make sure to catch up to the minute 141 00:13:46.460 --> 00:13:52.340 networks in Aigans by following at pod fix on twitter, official underscore pod fix 142 00:13:52.419 --> 00:13:56.889 on Instagram, at pod fix network on Facebook, and make sure to subscribe 143 00:13:56.970 --> 00:14:01.490 to pod fix presents wherever you choose to find podcasts. The pod fix network. 144 00:14:01.850 --> 00:14:11.080 Artist own the love. Hello, good evening. Is this Harry Callaghan? 145 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:18.600 Yes, it has splendid I am Lloyd Warrington of mask, wait D 146 00:14:18.279 --> 00:14:22.799 mask. Please hold all questions until the end of this call and listen. 147 00:14:24.710 --> 00:14:28.070 We're already at the end of the episode, so we don't have much time. 148 00:14:28.549 --> 00:14:31.950 Also, the script is rather shoddy, so I would prefer to keep 149 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:37.789 this brief. Doctor Callahan, a car will be arriving shortly. Inside you 150 00:14:37.870 --> 00:14:43.379 will find instructions of what we need you to do. There, short and 151 00:14:43.740 --> 00:14:46.460 to the point. What do I need to do? Did I not just 152 00:14:46.779 --> 00:14:52.299 say instructions would be in the car? Well, here am in the middle 153 00:14:52.299 --> 00:14:56.330 of something right now. Based on surveillance and the sounds I am hearing, 154 00:14:56.649 --> 00:15:00.250 you are wrapping up your evening Soak, so I feel that we will be 155 00:15:00.409 --> 00:15:05.210 fine. It is my understanding that you are the world's top tier expert on 156 00:15:05.250 --> 00:15:11.000 area fifty one. So we are sending you. Upon arrival, I would 157 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.320 like you to call the number we will be providing for you. This SAM 158 00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:18.080 car a joke, sir? I wish it was, but it appears that 159 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:24.230 this is the route we are taking while agents search for the Trans Universe transponder. 160 00:15:24.029 --> 00:15:28.870 Please be ready. Transport will be at your location within the hour. 161 00:15:28.269 --> 00:15:33.549 Okay, but well, I guess throwing our hat in the post credits game 162 00:15:33.710 --> 00:15:37.419 is better than a for our version of a podcast no one cared for in 163 00:15:37.500 --> 00:15:43.220 the first place. And yes, I'm talking to you, Zach.