March 17, 2021

The Rainbow Bridge

The Rainbow Bridge

A tale of an old bridge and a rainbow.


A tale of an old bridge and a rainbow. 

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Producer/Editor/Engineer: Dick CabezaIntern: Dana The Intern 

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About UsWhat happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed? 

Down To Folk is manufactured by M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K. 

**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**  

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Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:06.879 The following is still not real, but it is really part of the pod 2 00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:11.990 fix network and continues to be a mediocre collection of folk tales told by two 3 00:00:12.029 --> 00:00:18.309 independent podcasters, and by independent I mean no one knows who they are and, 4 00:00:18.550 --> 00:00:24.460 quite frankly, no one cares. The names, dates, places and 5 00:00:24.699 --> 00:00:28.339 facts within have not been verified in any way, as we don't have that 6 00:00:28.500 --> 00:00:35.729 kind of budget. Some stories may contain adult themes, but what fantastical story 7 00:00:35.890 --> 00:00:42.409 doesn't? If you are listening with children, child protective services has been dispatched 8 00:00:42.609 --> 00:00:47.890 to your most recent location. Now, if you excuse me, I will 9 00:00:47.929 --> 00:00:53.399 leave you to enjoy whatever this is by. On the other hand, am 10 00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:58.159 going to watch reruns of the office that I purchased on DVD like a grown 11 00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:11.549 up. Take that netflix haters. Once upon a time, a little girl 12 00:01:11.790 --> 00:01:15.750 and a little boy. We are playing by a small waterfall in the forest 13 00:01:15.870 --> 00:01:19.500 of the Appalachian Mountains. The children were the best of friends and might as 14 00:01:19.540 --> 00:01:25.019 well have been brother and sister. As they played, splashing in the water, 15 00:01:25.620 --> 00:01:29.180 a bear approached, frightening them both onto the opposite bank of the Creek. 16 00:01:30.260 --> 00:01:33.890 In the silence, they watched the Jesus bugs glide over the surface of 17 00:01:33.930 --> 00:01:38.810 the water. Unaware of the impending violence, the girl's voice faltered as she 18 00:01:38.930 --> 00:01:45.170 meekly entreated the bear to spare them. Oh, mother bear, please don't 19 00:01:45.209 --> 00:01:48.760 eat us. We are just two tiny children and hardly worth your time. 20 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:53.239 The bear cocked her head to the side. But you would make such a 21 00:01:53.439 --> 00:02:00.359 simple snack right now, and I'm mighty hungry. The boy then spoke up. 22 00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:06.950 Please, mother bear, don't eat us. Will do anything. At 23 00:02:07.030 --> 00:02:13.189 this the bear's lips spread into a frightening toothy grin. Well, that's quite 24 00:02:13.229 --> 00:02:17.939 the bargain. Okay, I'll tell you what you girl, you will stay 25 00:02:17.979 --> 00:02:22.979 here. Was Me. Boy, you will go and retrieve three things for 26 00:02:23.139 --> 00:02:28.180 me. The first is an ostrich feather of pure bronze. You will have 27 00:02:28.300 --> 00:02:32.650 to fight a venomous snake to get it. Good luck, boy. As 28 00:02:32.689 --> 00:02:37.449 the boy left his friend sitting on one side of the bank and the bear 29 00:02:37.569 --> 00:02:43.330 shitting on the other, he was overwhelmed with anxiety. A snake he could 30 00:02:43.330 --> 00:02:46.520 be killed, but if he didn't try, his friend would be killed. 31 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:53.439 It was a dire situation indeed. The boy drew closer to the snake's layer 32 00:02:53.879 --> 00:02:58.909 and began to shake, trying to steal himself for the danger. As he 33 00:02:58.949 --> 00:03:01.629 heard the crackling of the boys steps on the leaves and twigs, the snake 34 00:03:01.750 --> 00:03:10.349 slithered out and hissed menacingly. Who is set that disturbs SMIC slumber? The 35 00:03:10.509 --> 00:03:15.180 boy, unsure if his abilities to fight, as he was only six years 36 00:03:15.180 --> 00:03:20.020 old and kind of a woof, decided to see if he could use persuasion 37 00:03:20.180 --> 00:03:23.780 to convince the snake to give him the feather. Snake, I am just 38 00:03:24.020 --> 00:03:29.530 a small boy with a big request. I need the ostrich feather of pure 39 00:03:29.569 --> 00:03:32.330 bronze to give to mother bear to save the life of my best friend. 40 00:03:34.009 --> 00:03:38.930 Please, snake, I will do anything. The snake raised up. Well, 41 00:03:38.050 --> 00:03:45.439 that's quite the bargain. Okay, I'll tell you what. You will 42 00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:53.639 go and retrieve three things for me. The first is a spoon of pure 43 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:58.590 Ruby. You'll need to fight a cougar to get it. Good luck, 44 00:03:58.750 --> 00:04:03.750 boy. The boy was momentarily relieved to be out of danger, but realized 45 00:04:03.789 --> 00:04:09.349 he was just walking into more. As his footsteps crackled to the Cougar leapt 46 00:04:09.430 --> 00:04:15.580 from her perch and roared. Is it that disturbs my slumber? The boy 47 00:04:15.659 --> 00:04:19.060 swallowed and began looker. I am just a small boy with a weak body 48 00:04:19.180 --> 00:04:24.810 in a big request. I need the spoon of pure ruby to give to 49 00:04:24.889 --> 00:04:28.930 the snake, for the ostrich feather of pure bronze to return to mother bear, 50 00:04:29.009 --> 00:04:31.290 to save the life of my best friend. Please, Cougar, I 51 00:04:31.370 --> 00:04:39.040 will do anything. The Cougar Sat pertly and began licking her paw. Well, 52 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:43.959 that's quite the bargain. Okay, I'll tell you what you will go 53 00:04:44.079 --> 00:04:47.199 into tree. Three things for me. The first is a Moose Statue of 54 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:53.629 pure gold. You'll have to cross and narrow and perilous bridge to get to 55 00:04:53.790 --> 00:04:59.350 it. Good luck, boy. The boy's courage was growing, but so 56 00:04:59.629 --> 00:05:02.189 was his hunger. He approached the bridge but found a large stone to sit 57 00:05:02.269 --> 00:05:05.949 on and rest his legs. He peered around him, looking for something that 58 00:05:06.029 --> 00:05:11.139 would make for a good snack. That's when he saw the berries on a 59 00:05:11.220 --> 00:05:16.779 small Bush hidden by foliage, glowing berries. They looked so delicious he couldn't 60 00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:20.850 help himself. He felt his hands and knees and crawled to them. His 61 00:05:21.050 --> 00:05:27.730 eyes transfixed on the illuminated orbs. He reached out to touch them and placed 62 00:05:27.810 --> 00:05:30.970 one gingerly in his mouth. It was the most delicious thing he had ever 63 00:05:31.089 --> 00:05:35.800 tasted, and that's when the idea dawned on him. He could use the 64 00:05:35.920 --> 00:05:40.639 berries to barter for the items so he could return to his best friend and 65 00:05:40.839 --> 00:05:45.480 save her life. He picked every Harry he could and thrust them into his 66 00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:49.990 ragged knapsack. All he had to do was retrieved the most statue of pure 67 00:05:50.069 --> 00:05:56.509 gold and he could be on his way. He stepped upon the Rickety Bridge, 68 00:05:56.949 --> 00:06:00.189 trying to steady himself as it swung over the open creek below. He 69 00:06:00.149 --> 00:06:05.060 closed his eyes and kept inching forward. He could see the statue in front 70 00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:10.019 of him, glittering in the rays that broke through the branches. When he 71 00:06:10.139 --> 00:06:14.300 reached the end of the bridge, he ran to the statue, clutched it 72 00:06:14.420 --> 00:06:17.970 tightly and began to run across the bridge. But in his excitement and haste 73 00:06:18.009 --> 00:06:24.569 he had forgotten the cardinal rule of rickety bridges. You must take them slowly. 74 00:06:25.810 --> 00:06:30.290 The bridge rocked and he was pitched from it into the thrashing water and 75 00:06:30.329 --> 00:06:38.480 rocks below, mercifully dying instantly. It was gory and horrible. I'll spare 76 00:06:38.480 --> 00:06:45.199 you the details. The Cougar never got her statue, the snake never got 77 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:48.589 his spoon, the bear never got her feather, though. The girl was 78 00:06:48.709 --> 00:06:55.189 gobbled up moments after the boy's departure. Mother bear never intended to spare her 79 00:06:55.189 --> 00:06:58.910 at all. She was going to eat the boy when he returned as well. 80 00:07:00.389 --> 00:07:04.459 Mother bear was a real bitch. But as the mingled child drifted down 81 00:07:04.500 --> 00:07:10.939 the river, the glowing berries escaped the knapsack and became caught upon a rock 82 00:07:11.100 --> 00:07:15.170 that jutted into the Stream. A mist began to rise as the water struck 83 00:07:15.250 --> 00:07:19.970 the berries. As each burst, it created a streak of color across the 84 00:07:20.089 --> 00:07:28.329 sky, a glorious spectrum of rich vibrancy red, orange, yellow, green, 85 00:07:28.970 --> 00:07:34.040 blue, indigo and violet. Such a spectacle had never been seen before. 86 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:41.560 And that, my friends, is how the first rainbow was made and 87 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:46.990 how little boys are foolish and little girls are useless and animals are greedy and 88 00:07:47.189 --> 00:07:54.389 bears can't be trusted. There are many lessons in this story, but most 89 00:07:54.430 --> 00:08:01.259 importantly, don't run on decrepit narrow bridges. But if you do, with 90 00:08:01.540 --> 00:08:05.899 your knapsack or pockets filled with glowing berries from Bush you had never seen before, 91 00:08:07.019 --> 00:08:13.569 and you're throne from that bridge on to the GNASHING waters below, body 92 00:08:15.170 --> 00:08:24.569 fragmented splattering against the rugged rocks, whisked away to bloat and never be found 93 00:08:24.649 --> 00:08:30.560 by loved ones. And those berries come out of your knapsack and get stuck 94 00:08:30.600 --> 00:08:35.320 upon a rock, maybe one shutting out into the creek and the water. 95 00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:39.320 Water is it a speed that it hits them just right and each bursts in 96 00:08:39.480 --> 00:08:48.789 the right order to create red and orange and yellow and green and blue and 97 00:08:48.070 --> 00:08:54.779 indigo and violet. You can remember it as Roygiebiv across the sky in a 98 00:08:54.860 --> 00:09:03.179 spectrum of color. And maybe maybe your death, maybe running on that bridge. 99 00:09:03.379 --> 00:09:11.970 It's worth it. Oh the splendid things we learn from the wonderful world 100 00:09:13.009 --> 00:09:18.289 of podcasts. This is odd. We're receiving a transmission from an alternate universe. 101 00:09:20.250 --> 00:09:24.559 It appears that Chad is the host of a children's program this cannot be 102 00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:37.559 good. I can't wait to listen. Hi, boys and girls, do 103 00:09:37.669 --> 00:09:43.309 you like playing? Of course you do. Playing is fun. You can 104 00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:48.549 play with your friends, you can play with your parents. Sometimes you can 105 00:09:48.629 --> 00:09:54.700 even play with yourself. Some people prefer to play with themselves. Do you 106 00:09:54.779 --> 00:10:01.659 ever play with toys? Playing with toys can be fun for everyone. What's 107 00:10:01.779 --> 00:10:07.009 your favorite toy? WHO, Lily says she likes playing with her rabbit. 108 00:10:07.889 --> 00:10:13.769 I know lots of little girls that have fun playing with their rabbits. Lily 109 00:10:13.889 --> 00:10:20.169 says sometimes she shares her rabbit with her brother. Oh what's that, Tommy? 110 00:10:20.009 --> 00:10:24.440 How do you know Lily has a cat? What about balls? Do 111 00:10:24.559 --> 00:10:31.759 you like balls? Course you do. Everyone loves playing with balls. Boys 112 00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.950 like playing with balls, girls like playing with balls. He even mommies and 113 00:10:37.029 --> 00:10:41.389 daddy's like to play with balls. Come on, everybody, let's all play 114 00:10:41.429 --> 00:10:46.309 with our balls together. If you don't have balls, ask a friend. 115 00:10:46.950 --> 00:10:54.059 Maybe they'll let you play with their balls. Wasn't that fun? Oh look 116 00:10:54.139 --> 00:11:01.500 outside, there's a rainbow. Come on, everybody, grab your balls and 117 00:11:01.620 --> 00:11:05.889 let's run down to the stream and see if we can find the dead body, 118 00:11:07.690 --> 00:11:13.450 because we all know at the end of the rainbow is a dead body. 119 00:11:16.850 --> 00:11:22.720 Oh look, there he is. He made a mess on the rocks, 120 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:31.039 but he made a beautiful rainbow. Or let's look at his body closely 121 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:35.830 and see what we can find. WHO This is Yucky. See, boys 122 00:11:35.870 --> 00:11:45.309 and girls, this little boy broke his neck really bad. It's called internal 123 00:11:45.509 --> 00:11:54.539 decapitation. Can you say that very good? Oh dear, it's getting dark. 124 00:11:54.820 --> 00:11:58.700 We have to say goodbye for now. I'm going to put this stick 125 00:11:58.740 --> 00:12:05.049 right here so we can easily find this body next time, and next week 126 00:12:05.529 --> 00:12:15.529 will learn all about necrophilia. Are you excited? I am too. Goodbye, 127 00:12:15.610 --> 00:12:26.240 everybody. Will see you real soon. Would you look at that? 128 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:31.549 You still have not been deterred by the steaming pile of content we have been 129 00:12:31.669 --> 00:12:37.909 feeding you. We promised to try harder next time. Our Lovely Rainbow Origin 130 00:12:37.110 --> 00:12:43.620 Story was written and performed by aerial cooksie of the malice podcast. Congratulations on 131 00:12:43.779 --> 00:12:48.580 that huge left turn you've made from true crime. Chad Brock, Braider of 132 00:12:48.620 --> 00:12:54.259 the perfect package podcast, is solely responsible for today. is Mr Rogers fan 133 00:12:54.419 --> 00:13:01.610 fiction. For additional stories and content, visit DT F storiescom or at DTF 134 00:13:01.850 --> 00:13:07.970 stories across all social media. Our distribution partners at the pod fix network can 135 00:13:09.049 --> 00:13:15.519 be found at www dot pod fix networkcom. And don't forget, if you 136 00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:22.120 are DTF, visit the down to folk patreon at patreoncom slash DTF stories for 137 00:13:22.279 --> 00:13:31.190 exclusive content and live simulation events. Oh Great, it appears that our Trans 138 00:13:31.230 --> 00:13:39.509 Universe transponder has gone missing. So much for my relaxing week off. You've 139 00:13:39.509 --> 00:13:43.539 been listening to a podcast of the pod fix network. Discover more audible gym's 140 00:13:43.620 --> 00:13:46.419 like this at pod fix networkcom. Make sure to catch up to the minute 141 00:13:46.460 --> 00:13:52.340 networks in Aigans by following at pod fix on twitter, official underscore pod fix 142 00:13:52.419 --> 00:13:56.889 on Instagram, at pod fix network on Facebook, and make sure to subscribe 143 00:13:56.970 --> 00:14:01.490 to pod fix presents wherever you choose to find podcasts. The pod fix network. 144 00:14:01.850 --> 00:14:11.080 Artist own the love. Hello, good evening. Is this Harry Callaghan? 145 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:18.600 Yes, it has splendid I am Lloyd Warrington of mask, wait D 146 00:14:18.279 --> 00:14:22.799 mask. Please hold all questions until the end of this call and listen. 147 00:14:24.710 --> 00:14:28.070 We're already at the end of the episode, so we don't have much time. 148 00:14:28.549 --> 00:14:31.950 Also, the script is rather shoddy, so I would prefer to keep 149 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:37.789 this brief. Doctor Callahan, a car will be arriving shortly. Inside you 150 00:14:37.870 --> 00:14:43.379 will find instructions of what we need you to do. There, short and 151 00:14:43.740 --> 00:14:46.460 to the point. What do I need to do? Did I not just 152 00:14:46.779 --> 00:14:52.299 say instructions would be in the car? Well, here am in the middle 153 00:14:52.299 --> 00:14:56.330 of something right now. Based on surveillance and the sounds I am hearing, 154 00:14:56.649 --> 00:15:00.250 you are wrapping up your evening Soak, so I feel that we will be 155 00:15:00.409 --> 00:15:05.210 fine. It is my understanding that you are the world's top tier expert on 156 00:15:05.250 --> 00:15:11.000 area fifty one. So we are sending you. Upon arrival, I would 157 00:15:11.000 --> 00:15:13.320 like you to call the number we will be providing for you. This SAM 158 00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:18.080 car a joke, sir? I wish it was, but it appears that 159 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:24.230 this is the route we are taking while agents search for the Trans Universe transponder. 160 00:15:24.029 --> 00:15:28.870 Please be ready. Transport will be at your location within the hour. 161 00:15:28.269 --> 00:15:33.549 Okay, but well, I guess throwing our hat in the post credits game 162 00:15:33.710 --> 00:15:37.419 is better than a for our version of a podcast no one cared for in 163 00:15:37.500 --> 00:15:43.220 the first place. And yes, I'm talking to you, Zach.