Oct. 4, 2022

The Crash

The Crash

"He" returns to torture Lloyd, and our "guest" hears something.

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Distribution:The PodFix Network

About Us What happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed?

Down To Folk is manufactured by M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K.

**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**

Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.240 --> 00:00:10.679 To get pod fixed. Network transmission in three, two, one. Well, 2 00:00:10.759 --> 00:00:15.599 hello, it isn't all my little friends with all their little dreams. 3 00:00:16.760 --> 00:00:26.839 Today I'm down to full Queens. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry. 4 00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:30.679 I love the FAG that you have no arms now and I can do it 5 00:00:30.760 --> 00:00:38.799 if you can't stop me. Oh Hey, look, look, here, 6 00:00:38.920 --> 00:00:45.280 I brought you a present because I know how much you love the beetles. 7 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:49.719 Somewhere in the black mine and hills out the code to their living young born 8 00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:55.119 name a rocket raccoon. I know how much you love the beetles. We're 9 00:00:55.200 --> 00:01:00.439 another guy hit young rocky rock I thought. I thought, Oh, you 10 00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:06.519 prince loved the Beatles. So one day he walked into town, boots on 11 00:01:06.599 --> 00:01:12.480 the room in the local so my buddy rocky roocoons sing with me, chat 12 00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:23.560 didn't do his room. Rocky rappy to find Indians. Final, rocky hat 13 00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:34.079 COMEA do shoot, why did I again? Can you come let it out 14 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:59.760 his rittle. It seems there was an old lady who swallowed a fly. 15 00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:05.680 I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die. I know 16 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:10.599 an old lady who swallowed a spider that wiggled and wiggled inside her. She 17 00:02:10.719 --> 00:02:15.199 swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the 18 00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:21.719 fly. Perhaps she'll die. I know an old lady who swallowed a shoe. 19 00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:27.199 I ask you, who would swallow a shoe? She swallowed the shoe 20 00:02:27.240 --> 00:02:31.479 to kick the spider that wiggled and wiggled inside her. She swallowed the spider 21 00:02:31.560 --> 00:02:36.919 to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps 22 00:02:36.919 --> 00:02:42.400 she'll die. I know an old lady who swallowed some soap. I'm losing 23 00:02:42.439 --> 00:02:46.599 hope that she's swallowing soap. She swallowed the soap because she thought it was 24 00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:53.639 mint. She swallowed the shoe to kick a probably already digested spider. She 25 00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:58.199 swallowed the spider because it looked like a chocolate chip. She swallowed the fly. 26 00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:05.000 Well, I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps that's why 27 00:03:05.039 --> 00:03:09.280 she's going into emergency surgery. You see, the Old Lady suffered from Pike, 28 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:15.639 which is a very serious condition in which person ingests inedible things like couch 29 00:03:15.719 --> 00:03:21.000 foam or household cleaners, often out of the mistaken notion it is something else. 30 00:03:22.039 --> 00:03:32.879 It can literally kill you. Yeah, it's a real downer. Before 31 00:03:35.479 --> 00:03:39.879 in the time of darkness. The stories hung on the wind. The story 32 00:03:39.960 --> 00:03:46.080 is hibernated in the deep, rich soil. Cavernous abysses in the oceans hid 33 00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:53.919 the tails. There was no light. The story is laid dormant until the 34 00:03:53.960 --> 00:03:59.520 fire came, first from the ground, in molten lava, creating new lands, 35 00:03:59.599 --> 00:04:02.960 tearing a part familiar ground, pushing forward, polling under. The fire 36 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:09.199 scarred the land and blocked out the light. Then the wind and the rain 37 00:04:09.280 --> 00:04:15.360 began to fall and with it a new story began. In Green, lush 38 00:04:15.520 --> 00:04:20.639 jungles and planes, those who wandered began to see the changes, began to 39 00:04:20.720 --> 00:04:26.639 put thoughts together and form a language, language of sorts to communicate what they 40 00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:32.120 had seen, what they had heard, what they had experienced. And when 41 00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:38.959 they learned to harness the fire from the sky and earth, they began to 42 00:04:39.079 --> 00:04:45.519 wander less. They began to make homesteads and migrate to places where food was 43 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:50.839 plenty and shelter for the fire could be made. Once upon a time a 44 00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:57.120 fire was made and they stood in its warmth and told the stories that hung 45 00:04:57.199 --> 00:05:00.920 in the air, the stories that birthed themselves from the Earth, the stories 46 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:08.879 that bubbled and breached the waves and those stories opened the world, changed the 47 00:05:08.959 --> 00:05:14.560 course of history. Around a fire, a light, thoughts, ideas, 48 00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:18.439 imaginations grew from mouth to ear, to ear to mind, to mind, 49 00:05:18.480 --> 00:05:24.240 to action. The stories began to take on a new life of their own. 50 00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:31.279 Those who watched silent and UNOBTRUSIVE, to those who wandered marveled as these 51 00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:40.839 stories grew. Soon those who watched had names, those who wandered shared stories 52 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:46.759 that those who watched had only thought. The world was a place of Gods 53 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:54.639 and monsters and man. Then fear grew within those who wandered. The mysteries 54 00:05:55.000 --> 00:06:01.720 were unexplained and those who thought differently, believed differently, began to war against 55 00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:08.800 each other. The gods and the monsters retreated and hid themselves where those who 56 00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:15.600 wandered dared not go. And in their absence, those who wandered became those 57 00:06:15.079 --> 00:06:21.439 who stayed. And around the fire the stories grew to be myths, legends, 58 00:06:21.720 --> 00:06:29.160 folklore and truths. The two tribes would only meet in the imagination of 59 00:06:29.199 --> 00:06:34.879 each other. But then he came, the mischievous son of both God and 60 00:06:35.160 --> 00:06:42.480 man, the Wendigo, shifting his shape, tearing the fabric of veil that 61 00:06:42.560 --> 00:06:47.160 hid gods from man and man from monsters. The only way to make peace 62 00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:53.120 with the WINDIGO was to make a deal with him. For every story told 63 00:06:53.680 --> 00:07:00.439 about the world beyond, the Gods would be appeased and man would can tinue. 64 00:07:01.079 --> 00:07:05.759 Some of the Gods and monsters wanted the freedom to be and not exist 65 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:11.279 only in fables. They began to wander through the worlds, breaking the promise 66 00:07:11.319 --> 00:07:14.959 of the wind to go, the wind to go. Vow to find balance 67 00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:19.000 and in doing so, created a place where Gods and monsters and men could 68 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:27.839 live in peace by the fire, where everything was real, everything was true, 69 00:07:29.319 --> 00:07:33.160 and as long as the fire burned, the stories would be told and 70 00:07:33.199 --> 00:07:39.680 the balance would be made. Gods and monsters and men could freely commune with 71 00:07:39.720 --> 00:07:46.879 each other. At the end of the story stopped for a reason or another. 72 00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:54.959 The fire grew dim the world grew dark. The war had begun once 73 00:07:55.040 --> 00:08:03.199 more. You've been listening to a podcast of the pod fix network. Discover 74 00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:07.120 more audible gems like this at pod fix network DOT com. Make sure to 75 00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:11.199 catch up to the minute network shenanigans by following at pod fix on twitter, 76 00:08:11.480 --> 00:08:16.519 official underscore pod fix on Instagram, at pod fix network on Facebook, and 77 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:20.720 make sure to subscribe to pod fix presents wherever you choose to find podcasts. 78 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:35.440 The pod fix network artists, owned and loved. Okay, okay, I'm 79 00:08:35.480 --> 00:08:41.919 back and I'm losing my cool a bit. I don't know how long I've 80 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:46.320 been in this thing, but there's no way it's been fucking under an hour. 81 00:08:46.960 --> 00:08:56.679 Deep Breath, deep breathing, ship. What the fuck was that? 82 00:08:58.639 --> 00:09:05.000 Something just crash outside? Holy Ship. Holy Shit. Oh Shit. Okay, 83 00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:13.720 I'm going to try to force this door open again. How fuck, 84 00:09:18.759 --> 00:09:24.360 what the fuck? Goddamn, Oh fuck, I'm breathingly shoulder. Fuck, 85 00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:28.879 fuck, what the fuck. What do I do? What do I do? 86 00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:31.720 What do I do? Okay, okay, okay, breathe, breathe, 87 00:09:35.960 --> 00:09:43.120 stay calm. I checked the edges of the door for potential cracks. 88 00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:48.519 Nothing. It's not going to buzz. That seems clear. I don't know 89 00:09:48.799 --> 00:09:52.159 what that crashing was, but maybe it was just the towel rack or something. 90 00:09:52.200 --> 00:09:56.399 Maybe I hallucinated it. I just need to wait. Someone will come 91 00:09:56.399 --> 00:10:03.720 eventually. Jesus, Fuck Jesus, I wish I just used my fucking phone 92 00:10:03.799 --> 00:10:09.919 to record this instead of this dumb little recorder. What if no one comes? 93 00:10:11.080 --> 00:10:16.159 I starved to death. Dehydration. Fuck, do you think this recorder 94 00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:20.799 could elect or cut me enough to kill me if suicide becomes my only option? 95 00:10:22.840 --> 00:10:26.240 God, I just want to see Kelly and Otis, Beautiful Kelly and 96 00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:35.279 Otis. So I have to get out of here. I've got to get 97 00:10:35.360 --> 00:10:39.320 out of here and get back to them. Ship, ship, ship, 98 00:10:39.320 --> 00:10:45.080 I was saying. Singing calms me down. Oh what do I sing? 99 00:10:45.080 --> 00:10:50.240 WHAT DO I sing? Way Down, then the old one his, oh 100 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:52.639 no, then the old money, hells, old code, and they lift 101 00:10:52.879 --> 00:11:03.480 your record one days. Well know, if we had to know, Shit, 102 00:11:03.039 --> 00:11:09.559 that was the bad choice of songs. Oh, I sing that to 103 00:11:09.639 --> 00:11:18.080 my beautiful baby boy. Have to get him asleep. Ah, BAH BA, 104 00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:24.960 shit, shit, turning this thing fuck turning this thing off.