April 23, 2021

VIP Bonus - The Way It Was

VIP Bonus - The Way It Was

Before there was a M.A.S.S.K., before there was a Lloyd...there was this version of Down To Folk.


Chad's selling something...and let's you hear what the show was originally going to sound like. 

Enjoy this special bonus episode that one of our interns pulled out of the dumpsters behind HQ, that (until now) was only available to our VIP supporters.  

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Producer/Editor/Engineer: Dick CabezaIntern: Dana The Intern 

Distribution:The PodFix Network 

About UsWhat happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed? 

Down To Folk is manufactured by M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K. 

**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**  

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Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:06.200 --> 00:00:11.029 Hello there, I'm Chad. If you couldn't figure that out, I'm here 2 00:00:11.869 --> 00:00:19.989 with a very special bonus episode to perhaps Pique your interest in joining the down 3 00:00:20.030 --> 00:00:25.179 to folk patreon. We have four levels to our patreon. It breaks down 4 00:00:25.219 --> 00:00:30.019 like this. Tier One, this is for our super fans. Three dollars 5 00:00:30.059 --> 00:00:34.259 a month. You get access to bonus episodes just like this one, and 6 00:00:36.130 --> 00:00:41.409 we have a ton more planned in the near future. In addition, you 7 00:00:41.729 --> 00:00:48.689 also get a shout out in an episode from Mr Lloyd Warrington Himself, so 8 00:00:48.810 --> 00:00:53.399 that's kind of cool. Tier too, plain and simple. Tier Two tells 9 00:00:53.479 --> 00:01:00.920 the world that you are DTF and you get the bonus episodes and you get 10 00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:07.549 the shout out. You also get early access to episodes before they hit the 11 00:01:07.709 --> 00:01:15.469 main feed and you get a personalized message from Lloyd to and the highlight of 12 00:01:15.549 --> 00:01:19.379 this tier, if you stick around for three months, you get an exclusive 13 00:01:19.420 --> 00:01:25.219 sticker. How exclusive, Ariel and I don't even have these. There that 14 00:01:25.540 --> 00:01:33.849 exclusive tier three ten bucks a month. It's our mask all access pass. 15 00:01:34.689 --> 00:01:40.769 You get the bonus, you get the shout out, early access, personalized 16 00:01:40.810 --> 00:01:46.129 message from Lloyd, invites to monthly live events. It's like a hang out, 17 00:01:46.489 --> 00:01:53.400 like a mini live show. You also get an additional personalized message from 18 00:01:53.400 --> 00:01:57.799 Lloyd that you get to write the script for. He probably won't follow it, 19 00:01:59.040 --> 00:02:02.510 but you get one. Oh, and after three months you still get 20 00:02:02.549 --> 00:02:09.310 the sticker and you also get a coffee Mug, all exclusive. Now, 21 00:02:09.750 --> 00:02:15.069 last but not least, is tier four. This is the big dog tier. 22 00:02:15.060 --> 00:02:21.300 This is the official DTF fan club. You get everything from all access. 23 00:02:21.460 --> 00:02:23.539 Now, granted, you're going to miss out on the sticker in the 24 00:02:23.580 --> 00:02:29.819 coffee Mug, but tier four thirty dollars a month. This is the gift 25 00:02:29.860 --> 00:02:34.370 that keeps on giving. For the first year at this tier you get a 26 00:02:34.490 --> 00:02:38.729 new piece of exclusive merch every three months. After three months you're going to 27 00:02:38.770 --> 00:02:44.250 get a poster, six months you get a t shirt, nine months you 28 00:02:44.360 --> 00:02:50.199 get a toat bag, and after one year of continued support, you're going 29 00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:54.560 to score yourself a Hoodie. Yeah, man, there are also so many 30 00:02:54.599 --> 00:02:59.870 extra as we're going to throw your way at all the tears, but this 31 00:03:00.110 --> 00:03:02.310 is all I'm allowed to promote right now. Why are we here again? 32 00:03:02.669 --> 00:03:07.189 Oh Yeah, bonus episode. So, as you know, the show has 33 00:03:07.270 --> 00:03:14.020 evolved a lot since its conception and as we evolve, we meet creative decisions 34 00:03:14.219 --> 00:03:19.300 that some work, some don't. This bonus, we're turning back the hands 35 00:03:19.340 --> 00:03:22.819 of time to give you a look at the way it was, in the 36 00:03:22.860 --> 00:03:27.060 way it could have been, before there was a mask, before there was 37 00:03:27.139 --> 00:03:31.409 a Lloyd held, before there was a community firepit. This is the episode 38 00:03:31.650 --> 00:03:38.409 one that almost was. This is down to folk I hope you like it. 39 00:03:38.530 --> 00:03:39.849 Actually, I hope you hate it, then I know we made the 40 00:03:39.889 --> 00:03:46.360 right choice changing things up. This episode may contain adult themes. That's how 41 00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:51.240 fairy tales and folklore do. At any rate, if you are listening with 42 00:03:51.360 --> 00:04:04.389 children, it'll be fine. That's what therapy is for. Welcome to down 43 00:04:04.430 --> 00:04:09.270 to folk. In this episode, Ariel will take us to the State of 44 00:04:09.389 --> 00:04:14.860 Montana. Montana is located in the northwestern United States. It is boarded by 45 00:04:14.979 --> 00:04:18.740 Idaho to the West, North Dakota and South Dakota to the east, Wyoming 46 00:04:18.899 --> 00:04:24.769 to the south, and by the Canadian provinces of Alberta, British Columbia and 47 00:04:24.889 --> 00:04:29.730 Saskatchewan to the north. It is the fourth largest state by area and the 48 00:04:29.810 --> 00:04:33.889 third least densely populated state in the U S. The Western half of Montana 49 00:04:34.050 --> 00:04:40.279 contains numerous mountain ranges, while the east and half is characterized by Western prairie, 50 00:04:40.360 --> 00:04:45.279 rain and badlands. In all, it contains seventy seven named ranges, 51 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:51.079 all part of the rocky mountains. Commencing main story simulation by aerial cooksie. 52 00:04:54.269 --> 00:04:58.550 Back in the before times of the long, long ago, there is a 53 00:04:58.589 --> 00:05:02.709 humble farmer who owned a humble farm. He had a humble wife and a 54 00:05:02.829 --> 00:05:10.660 humble daughter whom he named frond. Frond was gentle and kind and loved animals 55 00:05:10.699 --> 00:05:14.779 of all sorts. She would sing to the horses, who would stamped their 56 00:05:14.819 --> 00:05:18.620 hoofs almost dance like. She would coo at the barn cats, who would 57 00:05:18.620 --> 00:05:24.569 bring her dead mice and appreciation. She napped with the sheep dog, who 58 00:05:24.569 --> 00:05:29.170 would lick her face and nuzzle. She would twirl among the birds, who 59 00:05:29.209 --> 00:05:33.769 would chirped their sweet songs and never shat upon her. One day her father 60 00:05:33.930 --> 00:05:38.839 came home from market with a new animal to add to the Menagerie, a 61 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:44.639 humble piglet. FROND was delighted. She whisked the pig up out of the 62 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:49.189 cart and whirled him round as he almost seemed to smile, squealing what a 63 00:05:49.269 --> 00:05:55.589 precious little fellow. She cried happily. Her father removed his cap and told 64 00:05:55.589 --> 00:05:59.310 her, I'm glad you like him. Make sure he feels at all, 65 00:05:59.389 --> 00:06:03.149 Ma frond. FROND got the little guy settled into a nice little hay bed 66 00:06:03.300 --> 00:06:08.579 in the barn and kissed his head before she headed inside to sleep herself. 67 00:06:09.660 --> 00:06:14.980 I'll call you wilmer, she whispered. As the weeks went by, the 68 00:06:15.139 --> 00:06:20.129 piglet grew and grew and though not the most impressive pig, he was humble 69 00:06:20.449 --> 00:06:27.970 after all. He was certainly sweet and affectionate. Frond was especially partial to 70 00:06:28.089 --> 00:06:32.639 him, spending a great deal of lazy afternoons telling Him Stories. But one 71 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:39.199 day her father approached the barn and told frond the following day he was taking 72 00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:44.519 the pig to market with him. FROND looked alarmed. Whatever for Papa, 73 00:06:44.920 --> 00:06:48.430 she asked, he needs to be butchered so we can sell the meat? 74 00:06:48.910 --> 00:06:55.069 He replied no, Papa. She cried, but that was the end of 75 00:06:55.149 --> 00:07:00.579 it. No discussion would change his humble mind. Wilmer was distraught. He 76 00:07:00.699 --> 00:07:04.939 didn't know what a butcher was, but frond certainly didn't seem happy about it. 77 00:07:05.899 --> 00:07:12.100 And then he heard a tiny little voice. Will Wilma over here. 78 00:07:13.220 --> 00:07:18.610 The confused pig turned every which way pier silly. There was a small spider 79 00:07:18.889 --> 00:07:25.089 hanging from her web. Who, who are you? Wilmur asked. You 80 00:07:25.370 --> 00:07:33.519 can call me Charlotte. Charlott he cautiously started. What's butchering? Oh dear, 81 00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:38.759 I heard that. It's why they lead you to a place away from 82 00:07:38.759 --> 00:07:43.000 the other animals, slit your throat, dismember your body, set it on 83 00:07:43.160 --> 00:07:47.829 fire and then eat it. WILMA looked horrified. Oh No, Charlotte, 84 00:07:47.829 --> 00:07:53.750 what am I going to do? Charlotte winked. Don't wait, Wilmur, 85 00:07:54.029 --> 00:07:58.779 and going to hoop and she crawled back up to her humble web and began 86 00:07:58.819 --> 00:08:03.379 to loop and dance. When the rooster crowed and the sun began to rise, 87 00:08:05.139 --> 00:08:09.139 there was a web glittering in the light. As the farmer and frond 88 00:08:09.180 --> 00:08:15.529 approached, they realized something was written in the web. Papa, does that? 89 00:08:16.769 --> 00:08:20.290 Does that say got to bring ASS TO GET HANDS? The farmer swallowed. 90 00:08:22.250 --> 00:08:28.839 He didn't like the sound of that. Maybe he began slowly. Maybe 91 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:33.320 to day is not the day to take wilmer to market. We'll try again 92 00:08:33.399 --> 00:08:39.320 tomorrow. Wilmer was relieved, but new his time was still limited. But 93 00:08:39.480 --> 00:08:43.990 the following morning, as the sun rose. Once again a Web glittered in 94 00:08:45.070 --> 00:08:50.230 the light. The farmer approached with Frond, who then asked, Papa, 95 00:08:50.070 --> 00:08:56.139 does that? Does that say? Blood in, blood out? The farmer, 96 00:08:56.259 --> 00:09:01.419 visibly sweating, began slowly. Maybe, maybe, to day's not the 97 00:09:01.460 --> 00:09:07.419 day to take wilmer to market. We'll try again tomorrow. Wilmer was relieved, 98 00:09:07.539 --> 00:09:11.850 but still knew he was unborrowed time. But the following morning, in 99 00:09:11.970 --> 00:09:16.970 the first rays of Sun, once again a Web glittered in the light. 100 00:09:18.129 --> 00:09:22.570 As the farmer and frond approached, they realized something was written in the web. 101 00:09:22.970 --> 00:09:30.240 Papa, does that? Does that say? Trust no bitch. But 102 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:33.440 the humble farmer was tired of the roofs. It was just a spider, 103 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:39.909 a spider with a nasty attitude. He loaded wilmer up in his cart and 104 00:09:39.029 --> 00:09:43.470 rode away to market, as fron wept on to his little hay bed. 105 00:09:43.669 --> 00:09:48.629 When the farmer returned its undown, wilmer was not with him. He's been 106 00:09:48.710 --> 00:09:54.500 butchered, he responded when fron asked. Oh, I hate you, I 107 00:09:54.779 --> 00:09:58.620 hate you, Oh, hate you until I die. And with that the 108 00:10:00.059 --> 00:10:05.740 child fled to the barn where she cried herself to sleep. But charlot was 109 00:10:05.820 --> 00:10:09.169 no ordinary spider. She took pity on the girl and decided to teach the 110 00:10:09.289 --> 00:10:15.049 farmer a lesson. She crawled to the very top of the barn and sang 111 00:10:15.090 --> 00:10:18.889 out in her tinkling voice. And No, are you out there? The 112 00:10:20.090 --> 00:10:24.639 precious child's heart is broken, as her best friend's body was turned into meet 113 00:10:24.759 --> 00:10:28.679 today. Can you help? The wind began to whip in the skies and 114 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:33.200 the trees rustled. A screech was heard, so terrifying all the animals. 115 00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:41.070 Coward charlot remained fearless and didn't move from her high perch. She merely took 116 00:10:41.149 --> 00:10:46.870 one of her eight legs and pointed to the farmhouse. In the morning, 117 00:10:46.149 --> 00:10:50.059 when the farmer had not shown up to market, neighbors called on the family 118 00:10:50.220 --> 00:10:56.740 and found frond asleep on the barn floor. Entering the House and calling out, 119 00:10:56.500 --> 00:11:01.100 they found nothing but the skeleton of the humble farmer and his wife lying 120 00:11:01.299 --> 00:11:07.970 in what looked like a blood bath. Was the Windigo I reckon, said 121 00:11:07.970 --> 00:11:11.490 a slightly less humble farmer. Everyone nodded and shuffled out of the House. 122 00:11:13.690 --> 00:11:16.730 They went to find the young frond to tell her she was now an orphan, 123 00:11:18.529 --> 00:11:22.399 but the child had disappeared. At least that's what they thought, but 124 00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:26.639 I'll tell you what really happened. You See, I was telling the truth 125 00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:33.990 when I said Charlo was no ordinary spider. Ordinary spiders don't write words and 126 00:11:33.190 --> 00:11:39.549 Webs. After all, she was radioactive and a practicing sorceress spider. That's 127 00:11:39.590 --> 00:11:46.110 how she summoned the wind to go and helped frond to escape. She had 128 00:11:46.149 --> 00:11:50.659 bitten her, giving her special powers. When the neighbors had entered the barn, 129 00:11:50.299 --> 00:11:56.379 she was adhered to the rafters like a spider and they all lived happily 130 00:11:56.620 --> 00:12:26.480 ever after. This concludes main story simulation, initiating bedtime mode with Chad broke 131 00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:46.500 braid up now, while Ariel's story takes place in the outskirts of Pewte, 132 00:12:46.620 --> 00:12:54.659 Montana, the continuation actually happens seventy five miles south in the Gold Rush Mecca 133 00:12:56.059 --> 00:13:01.049 of Virginia City, Montana. It was around this time that a young journalist 134 00:13:01.169 --> 00:13:09.250 was working at the territorial enterprise, local paper, by the name of Samuel 135 00:13:09.409 --> 00:13:15.559 Langhorne clements. Now, Sam was guy had a lot of recognition. He 136 00:13:15.720 --> 00:13:22.559 and his brother traveled from Missouri to the West. They did part ways in 137 00:13:22.799 --> 00:13:30.230 South Lake City, UTAH. Sam would go north, ultimately ending up in 138 00:13:30.870 --> 00:13:35.549 Virginia City. Montana. Is Brother went to Nevada, continued west to Nevada. 139 00:13:37.149 --> 00:13:41.580 While Sam was in Virginia City working at the newspaper, he was dabbling 140 00:13:41.980 --> 00:13:48.700 in other writing. Not content with being a journalist, he wanted something more 141 00:13:50.379 --> 00:13:56.529 from his writing. So he had written a short story, funny story called 142 00:13:56.730 --> 00:14:03.850 the celebrated jumping frog of Calaveras County and people just loved this frog story that 143 00:14:03.970 --> 00:14:07.889 he had written. And and he would go down the street and everybody's like 144 00:14:09.009 --> 00:14:13.240 Hey, frog boy, what's Andy's we got it with the frog already. 145 00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:18.279 It was his one regret that he had in life. When the events happened 146 00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:24.470 up at up near but Montana, the story made its way down into Virginia 147 00:14:24.509 --> 00:14:28.190 City and people came up to him and said Hey, did you hear that 148 00:14:28.389 --> 00:14:31.950 crazy story about the winding go up and beat? You should were totally write 149 00:14:31.990 --> 00:14:35.309 a story about it. And he's like, we got it with the animals 150 00:14:35.389 --> 00:14:41.779 stories and and he he wouldn't even entertain it. He wouldn't even write about 151 00:14:41.820 --> 00:14:46.899 it in the paper because he just knew people were going to try and get 152 00:14:46.940 --> 00:14:52.690 him to write a story about a spider that writes words in the web, 153 00:14:52.889 --> 00:14:58.490 and he just said there's nothing to that. And so he he he sent 154 00:14:58.570 --> 00:15:03.889 a telegram to a good friend of his who was due to come out and 155 00:15:05.529 --> 00:15:09.080 visit, and it was a good friend of his, elwen, was coming 156 00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:15.879 out to visit soon from New York, and and Sam was like, Hey, 157 00:15:16.519 --> 00:15:20.279 Elwen, you like writing about animals, come on out here, I 158 00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:24.830 got this story that you can write. You can write, you could write 159 00:15:24.830 --> 00:15:28.350 a book about it if you feel like it. It's right up your alley. 160 00:15:28.389 --> 00:15:33.750 It's got like, you know, a pig talking to a spider writing 161 00:15:33.190 --> 00:15:39.139 words and it's web. I don't know, maybe tried out. So Edwin 162 00:15:39.259 --> 00:15:45.220 Brooks comes out to Virginia City and he sits down with with Sam and he's 163 00:15:45.259 --> 00:15:48.019 like yeah, man, this totally a story. I could totally could do 164 00:15:48.139 --> 00:15:52.970 this and like dope, go ahead start writing it. So he goes back 165 00:15:54.009 --> 00:15:58.690 to New York and he starts writing and he wrote his version of the story. 166 00:16:00.210 --> 00:16:03.360 He pretty much stripped all of the elements out except for a spider that 167 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:10.600 could write words in his web. But it's cool and Sam just could would 168 00:16:10.600 --> 00:16:15.039 not get away from that jumping frog story. So he changed his name changed 169 00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:22.350 his name to mark and wrote about little boys and Indians and black people. 170 00:16:22.909 --> 00:16:26.830 But it okay. Mark's books were problematic. It's cool. It was a 171 00:16:26.909 --> 00:16:32.350 different day and different age. He did okay for himself. Edwin. He 172 00:16:32.470 --> 00:16:37.419 did good too. He wrote his little animal book about a talking spider. 173 00:16:37.899 --> 00:16:42.059 I don't really I don't know what it was about, but mark, I 174 00:16:42.259 --> 00:16:48.490 guess, went on to write a lot of books about young boys and their 175 00:16:48.730 --> 00:16:56.409 high chinks and Shenanigan's and then he died catching a ride in the tale of 176 00:16:56.529 --> 00:17:00.440 Haley's comment, paving the way for Heaven's gate years later. Mark Twain, 177 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:11.200 author, Legend, cult leader. Good night, everybody. We'll see you 178 00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:18.430 next time. Thank you for listening to down to folk. For additional stories 179 00:17:18.470 --> 00:17:22.910 and content, visit ail and chat online at DTF STORIESCOM and across all social 180 00:17:22.990 --> 00:17:29.589 media at DTF stories. Down to folk is a fabricated collection of factual legends 181 00:17:29.990 --> 00:17:34.779 and if you AD DTF, visit the down to folk patreonic Patreoncom DTF stories 182 00:17:34.980 --> 00:17:52.450 for exclusive content and special life simulation and events. There you have it. 183 00:17:52.210 --> 00:18:00.319 This and much more available now in the down to folk patreon patreoncom slash DT 184 00:18:00.039 --> 00:18:06.480 F stories. Sign up today. Have a great weekend. See you Wednesday 185 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:11.599 with a brand new episode. By the way, join patreon level two or 186 00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:15.230 above. You can hear it right now. And since you stuck around at 187 00:18:15.230 --> 00:18:18.589 the and I'll give you a little sneak peak. What happens when you take 188 00:18:18.630 --> 00:18:23.269 a little girl or teddy bear and add in an obscene amount of eggplant? 189 00:18:25.109 --> 00:18:33.259 Come back April twenty eight and you'll find out you've been listening to a podcast 190 00:18:33.339 --> 00:18:37.180 of the pod fix network. Discover more audible gym's like this at pod fix 191 00:18:37.220 --> 00:18:41.289 networkcom. Make sure to catch up to the minute networkshanigans by following at pod 192 00:18:41.369 --> 00:18:47.170 fix on twitter, official underscore pod fix on Instagram, at pod fix network 193 00:18:47.250 --> 00:18:51.210 on Facebook, and make sure to subscribe to pod fix presents. Wherever you 194 00:18:51.250 --> 00:18:55.450 choose to find podcasts. The pod fix network artist owned and love