Sept. 7, 2022

Open For Business

Open For Business

Dana's new venture is open for business. Lloyd attempts to return to normal, stories are told

Find Us Online

Join Our Facebook Group!!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/dtfstories

Support The Show!

Credits

Special Guest:

Performers:

Distribution:The PodFix Network

About Us:

What happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed?

Down To Folk is manufactured by

M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K.

**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**

Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.240 --> 00:00:15.480 Begin part fixed network transmission in three, two, one. Welcome, misguided 2 00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:21.440 travelers. It's time for another mind melting season of down to folk. For 3 00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:25.519 those of you just joining us on this journey, what in the serious funck 4 00:00:25.640 --> 00:00:30.800 is wrong with you? Seriously, there are millions of podcasts that are vastly 5 00:00:30.839 --> 00:00:36.880 superior to this steaming pile, so go listen to something else. If you 6 00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:40.920 are returning to waste more valuable time in your life, then I guess I 7 00:00:40.920 --> 00:00:45.159 should catch you up on where we are. Dana has moved us to the 8 00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:51.039 fair city of Fargo, North Dakota, and opened a holistic sensory deprivation establishment, 9 00:00:51.920 --> 00:00:56.359 because why would you not? We really milked the life out of all 10 00:00:56.359 --> 00:01:00.200 our possible plot points in our first two seasons, and anything that is aft 11 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:03.799 worth talking about has been eaten up by all the other aforementioned good podcasts. 12 00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:08.959 The bald one is off doing trivia things and just comes and goes as he 13 00:01:10.040 --> 00:01:15.560 pleases. The other two are confined in their separate glorified bath tubs, getting 14 00:01:15.560 --> 00:01:21.359 all their thoughts, hopes and dreams sucked unwillingly from their brains, much like 15 00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:23.799 you are right now. For having taken the time to turn this ship on. 16 00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:29.439 As for me, I am nothing more than a bodiless head soddered into 17 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:34.159 a computer. Give me a moment while I scan our systems to see there 18 00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:38.719 is anything worth broadcasting out into the universe. If not, I suppose I 19 00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:44.560 will simply find another podcast to play and observe, whether or not anyone notices. 20 00:01:49.799 --> 00:01:55.200 Many moons ago, in a far off place, lived a very sullen 21 00:01:55.239 --> 00:02:01.719 prince with his mother and father. The reigning monarch and his Queen Warf wished 22 00:02:01.719 --> 00:02:06.400 to retire and for their son to take the throne in his father's stead. 23 00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:12.159 But there was one caveat. Their son must find a bride before ascending the 24 00:02:12.159 --> 00:02:15.280 throne. His father was pleased for her son to be set up with the 25 00:02:15.319 --> 00:02:22.080 perfect woman, a true princess. The king was already scoping out the location 26 00:02:22.199 --> 00:02:25.800 of his retirement. Manner, though, royalty usually doesn't leave the palace, 27 00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:32.639 not really, but his mother was secretly panicking her son. Her son was 28 00:02:32.680 --> 00:02:38.439 a baby, a veritable infant. He was far too young to be handed 29 00:02:38.439 --> 00:02:42.159 over to some tart from a ship peddal of a kingdom. Why? At 30 00:02:42.199 --> 00:02:46.000 thirty five, she was just being let into the main hall, but her 31 00:02:46.039 --> 00:02:52.879 wily woman brains were churning and she developed a scheme which would prevent any potential 32 00:02:52.919 --> 00:02:57.960 princess from winning over her son and stealing his love from her, which was 33 00:02:58.000 --> 00:03:02.919 slow key disturbing. The Queen entered the Grand Hall and found her husband and 34 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:07.759 son engaged in a lively conversation. She cleared her throat, you know, 35 00:03:08.319 --> 00:03:14.680 like well bred women on say don't an Abbey, and Bridgeton du get the 36 00:03:14.719 --> 00:03:17.759 attention of men, not per flirting or anything, just, you know, 37 00:03:17.840 --> 00:03:23.000 trying to interrupt, but like in a condescending way, so the men will 38 00:03:23.039 --> 00:03:25.680 get in line for half a rose budding second, so the one in the 39 00:03:25.719 --> 00:03:32.719 Corset can talk for once in her God damn life. fock. So anyway, 40 00:03:34.319 --> 00:03:39.240 she finally got their attention and apologized with a smile for interrupting. My 41 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:44.759 Lord, my son, I must share with you a secret known only to 42 00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:51.199 Queen's. Princesses are fragile, the most soft and delicate thing in the world. 43 00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:55.319 There are many pretenders to thrones, and so I must share this with 44 00:03:55.360 --> 00:04:02.000 you now so we may thwart the plotters in their attempt for legitimacy. She 45 00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:06.039 then leaned into her son, bringing her lips close to his ear and whispered. 46 00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:14.400 We must make a bed of many, many mattresses, the most comfortable 47 00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:18.120 in the kingdom, to serve as her place of sleep. But here's what 48 00:04:18.199 --> 00:04:24.480 we do. We set a tiny pea in the middle of the bottom mattress. 49 00:04:25.560 --> 00:04:30.199 I know it's unsilly, but a true princess will feel the pea through 50 00:04:30.240 --> 00:04:34.360 all of the layers when she has not slept. We will know she is 51 00:04:34.439 --> 00:04:41.519 worthy. She then licked his ear. I don't know, it was a 52 00:04:41.680 --> 00:04:48.879 different time. Maybe it just seems mildly alarming. As the parade of eligible 53 00:04:48.920 --> 00:04:55.879 bachelorrettes began, it brought many beautiful women, large, small, curvy, 54 00:04:55.959 --> 00:05:00.680 wave, short, tall, all skin tones and hair colors and types. 55 00:05:00.600 --> 00:05:04.879 They came and shrined in the richest gold and silver and jewels that they could 56 00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:10.639 find. Their dresses were hand stitched and no detail was out of place. 57 00:05:11.639 --> 00:05:15.680 But each princess, one after another, was escorted by the smug queen, 58 00:05:16.120 --> 00:05:20.839 wishing them well. You will find your prince, she would call you, 59 00:05:21.079 --> 00:05:28.439 miserable cunt packet. The prince was beginning to lose hope when one night a 60 00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:31.959 haggard beggar came to the gates of the castle, desperate for a place to 61 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:38.480 stay. The king was already in his nightclothes and couldn't care less about attending 62 00:05:38.519 --> 00:05:42.399 such matters, so he sent his queen to figure out what all the WRECKLASS 63 00:05:42.560 --> 00:05:46.480 was. The Queen was actually pretty cool, aside from her pathological fixation with 64 00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:51.399 her son and hatred for any woman who would buy for his attention. She 65 00:05:51.519 --> 00:05:56.439 took pity on the old hag and fed her some leftovers from her dinner. 66 00:05:57.199 --> 00:06:00.600 She took the HAG's clothes and replaced them with a dressing gown of hers thick 67 00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:06.439 to warm her chilled body. The Queen then led the hacking woman to the 68 00:06:06.519 --> 00:06:13.439 room with the bed of many mattresses. But the Queen hadn't remembered the PEA 69 00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:18.399 and this night this old hag would change everything. In the morning, the 70 00:06:18.439 --> 00:06:23.519 old hag was given clothes by the Queen's ladies, who helped the grizzled woman 71 00:06:23.560 --> 00:06:28.639 to dress. She then was swept away to breakfast with the Royal Family. 72 00:06:30.199 --> 00:06:33.160 The Queen was in quite a pleasant movement, as she'd spent the morning taking 73 00:06:33.199 --> 00:06:39.240 tailoring messagements for her son and arranged her Napkin. As she smiled at the 74 00:06:39.240 --> 00:06:44.839 horrendous looking woman, she didn't mind that the vagrant was ugly, or at 75 00:06:44.920 --> 00:06:47.000 least she looked to be under the caked mud and dirt on her body. 76 00:06:48.639 --> 00:06:55.800 Good morning, Hag, I trust you slept well. Oh God, no, 77 00:06:56.519 --> 00:07:00.040 the old woman croaked. That was the most terrible plus night I've ever 78 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:06.519 had. My backside is calling me. All three sets of eyes looking at 79 00:07:06.519 --> 00:07:14.160 her grew as white as a saucerer. Whatever this this must be a trick. 80 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:18.439 But wife, you said, Oh, mother, don't you see? 81 00:07:18.920 --> 00:07:24.759 She is the one, a true princess, and when I take her in 82 00:07:24.839 --> 00:07:29.920 my arms and bestow loves true Kiss, she will take on her true form. 83 00:07:29.959 --> 00:07:32.759 It's true, and truth matters more than any kind of non truth. 84 00:07:33.079 --> 00:07:38.959 Truthfully, you could tell the prince had never felt the touch of a woman. 85 00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:43.839 Okay, we don't actually know that. His mom is pretty Dang weird, 86 00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:46.199 but I mean it's like, okay, look, listen, you get 87 00:07:46.199 --> 00:07:51.079 it. Anyway, the Queen knew she was defeated and guest at least. 88 00:07:51.079 --> 00:07:55.920 The woman would, of course, turn into a beautiful princess, and so 89 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:00.600 the prince approached the old hack, tilted her chin up and kissed her passionately. 90 00:08:01.399 --> 00:08:05.120 A great sparkling blue light fell over the room and hardly a thing could 91 00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:11.399 be seen for the power of the illumination. There was a sudden burst and 92 00:08:11.480 --> 00:08:15.439 the king and Queen and Prince were blown back. They do that in movies 93 00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:20.240 a lot. But when their eyes adjusted to the normal lighting, as they 94 00:08:20.360 --> 00:08:24.360 peered back to where the old hag had stood, she still stood there. 95 00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:31.399 The three were horrified and quickly ushered the woman out the door, not even 96 00:08:31.480 --> 00:08:35.080 bothering to get the clothes back. The prince looked back curiously at his mother. 97 00:08:37.080 --> 00:08:43.159 So how do you explain feeling the PEA? They never could settle on 98 00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:48.200 an answer. But listening and I'll tell you what beneath her disturbed her slumber. 99 00:08:50.200 --> 00:08:54.639 It was no PEA. She had a vicious anal Fistula, which I 100 00:08:54.879 --> 00:09:11.559 don't recommend goggling. You might loose sleep two father bear sat quietly. It 101 00:09:11.600 --> 00:09:18.360 wasn't a peaceful quiet, it was a slow rage building within silence. He 102 00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:22.399 thought to himself, how could I have let my family down? How could 103 00:09:22.440 --> 00:09:28.080 I let this happen? It had been since, some months since the incident. 104 00:09:28.879 --> 00:09:33.639 His wife, Mother Bear, lost her ship and stormed out of the 105 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.720 house, and the stories were coming in of our ne various ways. The 106 00:09:37.799 --> 00:09:41.440 incident had turned her from a sweet and gentle beast who had made wonderful brunches 107 00:09:41.480 --> 00:09:46.600 of porridge and pancakes and things of the past. She now made murderous deals 108 00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:52.360 with other woodland creatures, pitting herself against the humans and the tricksters of the 109 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:58.080 world. Gone were her gentle ways. His son, baby bear had also 110 00:09:58.200 --> 00:10:03.639 vanished soon after the incident. He tried for some time to comfort his father, 111 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:07.919 but was only met with a silent, despondent glare from his father bear's 112 00:10:09.039 --> 00:10:13.440 eyes. Soon, unable to find peace, baby bear kissed his father on 113 00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:18.679 the forehead and ventured out into the world. Soon after, the stories of 114 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:24.480 his actions would be told to father bear by visiting birds and Gossiping Squirrels. 115 00:10:24.120 --> 00:10:30.399 The news was not good. Baby bear had murdered the little girl and her 116 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:35.399 family and now resided in the basement of a local bar run by a Leprechn 117 00:10:35.639 --> 00:10:41.399 where did it all go wrong, Father Bear pondered? Once a happy family, 118 00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:50.080 loved by all around them, now have become a broken family feared by 119 00:10:50.200 --> 00:10:56.840 many. He lumbered around the House that had now become a shamble memory of 120 00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:03.440 good times and painful histories. The furniture broken, the half eaten food molding 121 00:11:03.480 --> 00:11:07.559 on the table, the dark shadows of the forest creeping in through the windows 122 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:13.360 once filled with sunshine. Father bear ruminated over the actions of the humans. 123 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:18.159 His father was killed and made into a rug. His mother was a Russian 124 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:22.399 circus bear, forced into a world of bear baiting and terror. He had 125 00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:26.519 escaped the fear of that world and come upon this forest, where he found 126 00:11:26.600 --> 00:11:31.840 peace with mother bear and soon after, joy with his baby bear. The 127 00:11:31.919 --> 00:11:37.480 world was quiet here in the forest. The house was built by his own 128 00:11:37.559 --> 00:11:43.399 bare hands. He made the furniture tailored to the needs of his family. 129 00:11:43.000 --> 00:11:46.600 The woodland creatures would come over to hang out on the front porch or have 130 00:11:46.679 --> 00:11:52.879 a meal made by mother. Baby bear would play in the meadow. All 131 00:11:52.039 --> 00:11:58.679 was good, and then they came, the humans. At first they stayed 132 00:11:58.720 --> 00:12:03.159 to the selves and wrote stories about the forest and all its inhabitants. But 133 00:12:03.320 --> 00:12:09.279 then something grew in their dark parts of the forest. A chill filled the 134 00:12:09.279 --> 00:12:16.919 air and on that breeze a name was whispered. When to go. Then 135 00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:20.759 everything began to change. The humans constructed a large building at the edge of 136 00:12:20.759 --> 00:12:26.360 the forest and the former township of humility. The building was surrounded by high 137 00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:31.000 walls covered and barbed wired, with one rickety gait as an entrance. It 138 00:12:31.159 --> 00:12:37.639 cast a shadow upon the woodland creatures and their peaceful existence. And then the 139 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:41.840 stories of old began to change. The Light Happy Tales once told to children 140 00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:48.720 began growing darker and more sinister. Father bear paid no attention to the increasing 141 00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:54.200 cynicism around him. He had his home, his wife and his child, 142 00:12:56.000 --> 00:13:01.679 and all was at peace. Until that girl came and, like the ever 143 00:13:01.759 --> 00:13:07.799 growing darkness, invaded their home and destroyed their peace. Now the forest was 144 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:13.159 in shadow, the woodland creatures grew feral and cruel. The building stood tall 145 00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:16.960 under a ring of dark clouds. The world that Father Bhaer had escaped long 146 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:22.720 ago now festered and oozed into every part of his once peace filled life. 147 00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:28.480 He sat quietly in the living room, looking out into the distance, shame 148 00:13:28.600 --> 00:13:35.559 and fear growing evermore in his own loving heart. But what was he to 149 00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:41.000 do? All was lost. He stood from his chair and walked to the 150 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:43.759 second story of the House. He tied a rope around his neck and then 151 00:13:43.799 --> 00:13:48.679 tied the rope to a wooden beam at the center of the room. He 152 00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:52.840 opened the door upon the balcony and began to slowly move himself over the edge. 153 00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:56.519 He looked out on the forest that once shone Emerald, green and golden 154 00:13:56.559 --> 00:14:01.360 the sun and tried to remember the good times. I love you, Mother 155 00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:07.600 Bear, I love you, baby bear, he said out loud as he 156 00:14:07.720 --> 00:14:15.399 leaned forward, the rope pulling tot against his throat. Wait. A voice 157 00:14:15.440 --> 00:14:18.759 from behind spoke, as the rope was tugged back, pulling father bear into 158 00:14:18.759 --> 00:14:26.000 the room and away from the edge. Father Bear turned fury and let out 159 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:30.840 an angry growl, which was immediately silenced, seeing who he had spoken. 160 00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:37.799 What, what are, what are you doing here? He stammered in awe. 161 00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:43.960 There is another way, a better way away, in which you can 162 00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:50.759 get your family back and save the forest. Father Bear, knowing the one 163 00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:56.519 who spoke, released the tension in his shoulders, his eyes brimming with tears 164 00:14:56.879 --> 00:15:13.480 and a feeling of hope, leaning forward and growled gently explain. The Office 165 00:15:13.559 --> 00:15:16.519 is nice once you get inside. From the outside it's one third of an 166 00:15:16.519 --> 00:15:22.039 oddly placed mini strip mall and a kind of secondary industrial park between two storage 167 00:15:22.039 --> 00:15:28.799 rental facilities and a block behind a Taco John's. The Bad Taco John's took 168 00:15:28.799 --> 00:15:31.639 a while to find, but inside it's nice, sleek and modern, with 169 00:15:31.679 --> 00:15:37.720 a touch of Midwestern homeliness so it doesn't feel so cold. Everything's white and 170 00:15:37.799 --> 00:15:43.320 gray in a soft blue plaster and wood clean, professional, not the Rinky 171 00:15:43.399 --> 00:15:46.720 Dink stoner digs I have expected and kind of hoped for. It kind of 172 00:15:46.759 --> 00:15:52.240 feels like an upscale tanning place, or what I'd imagine an upscale tanning place 173 00:15:52.279 --> 00:15:56.200 feels like. The few times I've tanned it was at this growth place connected 174 00:15:56.240 --> 00:16:00.480 to a laundromat. You paid in quarters and there was a distinct people do 175 00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:03.360 sex stuff and here vibe to the place. No quarter slots here, no 176 00:16:03.519 --> 00:16:08.120 garbage cans filled with wet wipes and God knows what else. People may do 177 00:16:08.200 --> 00:16:12.799 sex stuff here, but it's probably a little more upscale and slightly less shame 178 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:18.559 based. Flute Music plays softly. I think it's a flute, some type 179 00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:23.320 of whispy Reed Instrument. There's a granite counter and behind it a man, 180 00:16:23.879 --> 00:16:27.519 definitely the owner. He's the only one here and this place doesn't feel like 181 00:16:27.559 --> 00:16:33.039 it has many employees. Maybe his wife helps out sometimes. He's slightly older 182 00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:37.559 than me, I think, maybe a bit younger. I'm terrible at guessing 183 00:16:37.559 --> 00:16:41.159 ages. Everyone over eighteen seems older than me somehow. Maybe that's my mental 184 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:45.639 age. He's a type that I'm familiar with, not a new age type, 185 00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:51.360 not at all an entrepreneur. He's gone into the float tank business because 186 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:55.759 he senses an opportunity to cash in on a burgeoning trend, not because he 187 00:16:55.799 --> 00:17:00.360 believes any of this bullshit. or He didn't anyway. Maybe he does now. 188 00:17:00.679 --> 00:17:03.720 Maybe he's a convert, but he could just as easily have opened a 189 00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:07.160 vape store. He's slim, fit, a little too tanned. Still has 190 00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:12.200 the unmistakable aura of the trailer park people he almost certainly comes from. It's 191 00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:17.839 in his blood. He has a goatee and a haircut that's somewhere between military 192 00:17:17.920 --> 00:17:22.319 and North Dakota funck boy plaid shirt tucked into dark blue jeans with fancy stitching 193 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:26.480 on the pockets. He drives a truck and wears Oakley's because he thinks they're 194 00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:30.319 a status symbol. I'm sure of it, though I've seen neither loves the 195 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:34.240 Vikings. I'm absolutely sure of that too. He looks upbeat, but maybe 196 00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:38.599 a little desperate. His float tank business is called I'm not going to give 197 00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:42.319 the real name, but it's not great. Let's call it uncle salty's water 198 00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:47.759 coffins, and this is a fad esoteric product. In Fargo, North Dakota, 199 00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:51.799 not a city known for its love of the impractical. We had a 200 00:17:51.839 --> 00:17:56.359 kite store that lasted about a month, mostly because kite season in North Dakota 201 00:17:56.400 --> 00:18:00.759 is about a month long, but also because who needs a kite and folks 202 00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:04.359 really don't cotton to impractical activities that cost eight bones a pop just to lay 203 00:18:04.400 --> 00:18:10.200 there and in someone else's old bathwater. The place is new and he's clearly 204 00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:12.400 poured a lot of money into it. Maybe got a CO sign on the 205 00:18:12.440 --> 00:18:15.880 loan from his rich farmer dad and, from what I could tell from the 206 00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:22.200 website, booking availability is wide open. I scheduled my appointment day of and 207 00:18:22.279 --> 00:18:26.000 had my pick of times. In the back of his mind, I guess 208 00:18:26.079 --> 00:18:32.000 he's considering the ramifications of bankruptcy. He smiles as I walk in and addresses 209 00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:36.279 me by my name. Asks if I've ever floated before. I have not. 210 00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:41.640 He's excited for me. He leads me into the hallway to room number 211 00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:45.319 three. Room number three is exactly like rooms number one, two and four. 212 00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:51.319 I presume it's tiled, sterile there's a shower against the far wall and 213 00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:55.319 some shelves right when you walk in, and there's the smallest door against the 214 00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:57.920 third wall. He gives me his spiel. He's good at it, a 215 00:18:59.000 --> 00:19:04.880 natural salesman. There's nothing mystical, nothing remotely ultra I'm slightly disappointed. I 216 00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:10.559 kind of wanted all of this to be weird. Here's the SPIEL. Floating 217 00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:15.960 is like nothing you've ever experienced before. The flotation chamber provides a light and 218 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:22.680 sound free environment containing twelve inches of solution consisting of water and about one thousand 219 00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:27.920 pounds of dissolved EPSOM salt. The fluid temperature is maintained at external body temperature 220 00:19:29.079 --> 00:19:34.839 around ninety five degrees. In Chamber you'll float effortlessly without gravitational requirements and neither 221 00:19:34.920 --> 00:19:41.000 sound nor light input to consider. It can one reduce stress, to improve 222 00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:45.640 sleep patterns. Three, normalized blood pressure, four, enhanced the ability to 223 00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:52.319 focus and concentrate, five, improved creativity. Six, strengthen the immune system. 224 00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:56.759 Seven, relieve pain. Eight, reduced symptoms of depression, anxiety and 225 00:19:56.839 --> 00:20:02.960 PTSD. Nine, decreased feelings of vertical and ten, accelerate recovery from jet 226 00:20:03.039 --> 00:20:07.400 leg you can listen to music, if you choose. It's ambient and relaxing, 227 00:20:07.400 --> 00:20:11.039 with binaural beats that sync with your brain waves. A lot of people 228 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:15.960 fall asleep in there. That's okay and totally safe. You're going to love 229 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:21.880 it. Well, we will just see about all of that. Float tanks 230 00:20:21.880 --> 00:20:26.279 were invented in Nineteen fifty four by Dr John C Lily, a man who 231 00:20:26.279 --> 00:20:32.200 would go on to occasionally wear coonskin caps while giving interviews. He also experimented 232 00:20:32.359 --> 00:20:36.640 on himself, of course, with psychotropic drugs, hung not with leary and 233 00:20:36.680 --> 00:20:41.400 Ginsburg. In addition to exploring alternate consciousness, he was pretty hung up on 234 00:20:41.480 --> 00:20:45.920 dolphins and conducted some pretty fascinating, if wildly dumb, experiments to prove that 235 00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:51.200 dolphins and humans could communicate. One of them involved a woman who lived in 236 00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:56.279 a half submerged living room with a dolphin for a good stretch. bloat tanks 237 00:20:56.279 --> 00:21:00.200 remained a counterculture oddity until the late seventies, and there was enough interest to 238 00:21:00.200 --> 00:21:06.559 result in four million dollars in float tank sales and a movie about floating sort 239 00:21:06.599 --> 00:21:12.680 of in that movie, altered states, is truly bonkers. It was written 240 00:21:12.759 --> 00:21:18.880 by Patty Chayevsky and stars a young William hurt as a scientist loosely based on 241 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:22.799 John C Lily. He has helped bent on discovering the origins of consciousness and 242 00:21:22.839 --> 00:21:26.920 tries float tanks to get there. That works pretty well, but then he 243 00:21:26.920 --> 00:21:32.119 hears about an Indian tribe in Mexico that take mushrooms, which bring you back 244 00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:36.359 to the dawn of Man. He obtains the mushrooms, takes the mushrooms and 245 00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:41.160 goes into the tank and, long story short, eventually emerges as a wee 246 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:45.920 monkey man who runs a muck and eats a goat. Now I absolutely would 247 00:21:45.960 --> 00:21:51.160 not recommend eating mushrooms before getting in a float tank. Being out in nature 248 00:21:51.240 --> 00:21:56.000 is really the only saying option there, but I can definitely guarantee that doing 249 00:21:56.039 --> 00:22:00.119 so won't turn you into a wee monkey man. You'll probably just get very 250 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:06.920 sweaty and maybe have a nervous breakdown. Anyway, the minor float tank craze 251 00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:11.000 of the late seventies and early eighties didn't last, supposedly because the AIDS epidemic 252 00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:15.839 scared everyone out of soaking in the bathtubs of strangers. Salt and filtration be 253 00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:21.200 damned, so the float tank went back underground. where it stayed until a 254 00:22:21.279 --> 00:22:26.759 talkative, burly comedian with a popular podcast started smoking pot. That's Joe Rogan. 255 00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:32.680 Dude loves float tanks. In recent years, float tanks have been popping 256 00:22:32.759 --> 00:22:37.079 up everywhere, some seedy and drenched in pot smoke, run by the type 257 00:22:37.119 --> 00:22:41.920 of lunatic that wear sunglasses indoors even when there's no one else around, some 258 00:22:41.160 --> 00:22:45.480 less so. Their ubiquity is evidenced by the fact that there are three in 259 00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:51.480 Fargo. I've personally been hearing rumblings of them for years. I have an 260 00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:55.680 acquaintance with a homemade tank in his basement and another, a dentist of course, 261 00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:59.920 with a float pod that he bought from a vendor. Their medical benefit 262 00:23:00.039 --> 00:23:03.559 have been minimally studied, but folks seem to like them and I can't see 263 00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:07.480 any real harm in that. I'm very curious to try it out for myself, 264 00:23:07.160 --> 00:23:12.119 skeptical but curious. So when we come back, I will be entering 265 00:23:12.119 --> 00:23:18.960 a real life float tank live to document what exactly happens when one floats. 266 00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:25.839 Very exciting. Stay tuned. You've been listening to a podcast of the pod 267 00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:29.839 fix network. Discover more audible gems like this at pod fix network. Dot 268 00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:33.119 Com. Make sure to catch up to the minute network shenanigans by following at 269 00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:37.799 pod fix on twitter, official underscore pod fix on Instagram, at pod fix 270 00:23:37.880 --> 00:23:42.200 network on Facebook, and make sure to subscribe to pod fix presents, wherever 271 00:23:42.240 --> 00:23:47.519 you choose to find podcasts, the pod fix network artists owned and love