Dec. 22, 2021

It's What's For Dinner

It's What's For Dinner

Lloyd trudges on as work continues as usual.


Lloyd continues his journey to find Dana, Keith is back to fill in for Chad, and BrJordan thinks it's April.  

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CreditsHost: 

Performers: 

Special Guest: 

Today’s Poetry Selection: 

“Fish Heads” - Barnes and Barnes 

Stories: 

Farm Fresh - BrJordanLloyd's Long Walk - Chad 

Producer/Editor/Engineer: Dick CabezaIntern: Dana 

Distribution:The PodFix Network 

About UsWhat happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed? 

Down To Folk is manufactured by M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K. 

**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**  

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Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.480 --> 00:00:11.429 I cannot believe this is where my life has ended up. I had standing, 2 00:00:13.910 --> 00:00:21.940 I had a mission. Now I'm stuck wrangling the world's largest collection of 3 00:00:22.059 --> 00:00:30.300 dipships. Come on, Mr Warrington, we're going to set up a new, 4 00:00:30.379 --> 00:00:39.850 better version of mask, one that's not scary. The stories of the 5 00:00:39.929 --> 00:00:46.570 Old Mask Make Me pee the bed. And now what do we have? 6 00:00:50.119 --> 00:01:00.039 Jokes? Yeah, guys, yeah, you know what? Keith Papaphonkqus and 7 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:02.799 only chance that he caught. I don't think he called. I'd in fact, 8 00:01:03.159 --> 00:01:04.750 when L S Outomn, I think he's on an island someplace, just 9 00:01:06.069 --> 00:01:08.629 on vacation. So get we're going to do this. Worth the piano. 10 00:01:08.790 --> 00:01:14.670 Just roll it over and yeah, have fun with us one. Okay, 11 00:01:14.829 --> 00:01:19.260 have fun now. I don't even care if you turn around this time, 12 00:01:19.379 --> 00:01:29.260 just hit record. Let's go with him. Fishheads, fishheads, Rollie Pollie, 13 00:01:29.379 --> 00:01:38.769 fishheads, fishheads, fishheads, eat them up yum in the morning, 14 00:01:38.810 --> 00:01:49.760 laughing happy, fish heads in the evening, floating in the soup. Fishheads, 15 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:59.640 fishheads, Rollie Polie, fish heads, fishheads, fishheads, eat them 16 00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:08.150 up yum. Ask A fishhead anything you want to. They won't answer. 17 00:02:09.430 --> 00:02:21.740 They can't talk. Fishheads, fishheads, Rollie Polie, fishheads, fishheads, 18 00:02:22.340 --> 00:02:30.090 fishheads. EAT THEM UP YUM. I took a fishhead out to see a 19 00:02:30.210 --> 00:02:39.729 movie. Didn't have to pay to get in. FISHHEADS, fishheads. Rollie 20 00:02:39.849 --> 00:02:51.240 polie. Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads. EAT THEM UP YUM. They can't 21 00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:59.349 play baseball, they don't wear sweaters, they're not good dancers, they don't 22 00:02:59.669 --> 00:03:10.430 play drums. FISHHEADS, fishheads. Rolie polie. Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads. 23 00:03:12.860 --> 00:03:23.900 EAT THEM UP YUM. Rolie Polie, fishheads are never seen drinking cappuccino 24 00:03:23.979 --> 00:03:34.250 and Italian restaurants with Oriental Women. Yeah, fishheads, fishheads. Rolie polye. 25 00:03:34.289 --> 00:03:53.240 Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads. EAT THEM UP YUM. They have turned 26 00:03:53.319 --> 00:04:00.949 this hallowed institution into a collection of toilet humor and child death. But it's 27 00:04:01.030 --> 00:04:05.629 fine. I will go convinced, DNA, that we need to stay and 28 00:04:05.830 --> 00:04:12.539 Beg for forgiveness. That's what we'll do. Start on the proper cloth and 29 00:04:12.620 --> 00:04:18.180 let the Holy Trinity of Bloff End for themselves. They were all late editions 30 00:04:18.300 --> 00:04:30.290 anyway, so why even by the trying to get them on track? Our 31 00:04:30.410 --> 00:04:34.209 story takes place in an English garden on a fresh, dewy morning, moments 32 00:04:34.290 --> 00:04:40.600 before the sunrise. There just outside the garden. In the Rolling Hills of 33 00:04:40.680 --> 00:04:44.800 the English countryside, deep in the roots of a large Old Tree, a 34 00:04:44.959 --> 00:04:49.040 Warren of rabbits woke from a restful night's sleep. Mother rabbits stood by the 35 00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:55.949 stove making porridge, calling out to her slumbering children. Peter, flopsy, 36 00:04:56.470 --> 00:05:01.310 Mopsye cotton tell, rise and shine, breakfast is on the table. Wake 37 00:05:01.389 --> 00:05:06.779 Up, wake up, a new day awaits. The four little rabbits stretched 38 00:05:06.899 --> 00:05:12.939 and yawned and slowly pulled themselves from the nest of warm blankets made from found 39 00:05:13.060 --> 00:05:17.819 clothes. They rubbed their faces and cleared their eyes of sleep as they groggily 40 00:05:17.899 --> 00:05:23.810 arrived at the table, where warm bowls of Porridge and fresh carrot cake muffins 41 00:05:23.850 --> 00:05:29.490 awaited. Good morning, Mamma, flopsy, mopsy and cotton tell said together. 42 00:05:29.529 --> 00:05:34.089 They always spoke as one. Good morning girls. Mother Rabbit answered with 43 00:05:34.129 --> 00:05:39.720 a soft kiss on each of their foreheads. Morning, Mum Peter Grumbled, 44 00:05:40.079 --> 00:05:46.040 his bluecoat buttoned crookedly, one ear bent down lazily. I will be off 45 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:49.589 to mark at this morning. Jemima and Miss Tiggily wiggly will be with me. 46 00:05:49.990 --> 00:05:54.310 I asked that you stay inside and do not go into the garden. 47 00:05:54.829 --> 00:05:59.829 She said the last part directly to Peter. Yes, Mama, flopsy, 48 00:05:59.910 --> 00:06:04.939 Mopson and Catton tell smiled and answered cheerfully all mom Peter Sighed. I was 49 00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:10.620 going to go get some squash blossoms and beat leaves today with Benji. No 50 00:06:11.019 --> 00:06:15.100 such thing. You will not go into the garden without me. Remember what 51 00:06:15.259 --> 00:06:19.689 happened to your father. The table fell silent. Everyone remembered what happened to 52 00:06:19.769 --> 00:06:25.290 their father. Farmer MURC Gregor had trapped his father and eaten him for Easter 53 00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:31.209 breakfast just last year. Everyone in the neighborhood knew that Father Rabbit was inebriated 54 00:06:31.370 --> 00:06:35.959 on fermented vegetable juice and was fornicating with the garden sculpture of a fairy when 55 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:42.040 he stumbled into a trap. Yes, Mama, the girls chimed mournfully. 56 00:06:42.759 --> 00:06:46.839 Fine, Peter rolled his eyes. I won't be gone too too low, 57 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:49.629 so please just stay inside. And with that, mother rabbit put on her 58 00:06:49.629 --> 00:06:54.870 shawl and hopped out the front door. The Warren was silent for a few 59 00:06:54.990 --> 00:06:59.829 moments. flopsy pushed away from the table and went to the door, watching 60 00:06:59.949 --> 00:07:04.100 her mother fade away. In the morning. Missed Peter Watched flopsy with anticipation. 61 00:07:04.779 --> 00:07:12.259 She turned and she and her sister spoke. Mother is gone, then 62 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:16.649 let it begin. Peter smiled a devilish smile. The Miss Hung hauntingly over 63 00:07:16.730 --> 00:07:20.930 the garden. Benjie stood by the Garden Gate, I scanning the meadow, 64 00:07:21.410 --> 00:07:27.170 waiting for his cousin to arrive. From the fog, tiny brown rabbit appeared 65 00:07:27.209 --> 00:07:31.000 in a blue denim coat with shiny buttons and approached Benji with a feverish hop. 66 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:38.240 Morning Been, Peter said breathlessly. Ready to begin. Benjie, nervous 67 00:07:38.439 --> 00:07:43.399 as well? A rabbit replied. Yes, Peter mcgregory is in the garden 68 00:07:44.310 --> 00:07:47.870 and the others, the others at their post waiting for your command. Benjiea 69 00:07:47.949 --> 00:07:55.069 from good Peter's eyes glinted with a bit of mayhem. Farmer McGregor stood in 70 00:07:55.110 --> 00:07:59.459 the lettuce patch counting the heads of lettuce. To his satisfaction, it's going 71 00:07:59.540 --> 00:08:03.540 to be a good year for cabbages and lettuce, I do say so myself. 72 00:08:03.019 --> 00:08:07.379 He chuckled, unaware that the metal and creatures hiding and waiting for Peter's 73 00:08:07.459 --> 00:08:11.779 command. Now, if only those damn did rabbits would stay away from them. 74 00:08:13.370 --> 00:08:16.490 Farmer McGregor set a few snares around the lattice patch. Should I catch 75 00:08:16.610 --> 00:08:22.850 them while I will be having rabbit again for east. He smiled, but 76 00:08:22.970 --> 00:08:26.689 his smile turned to a frown when, up from the farthest edge of the 77 00:08:26.810 --> 00:08:31.639 patch a brown bunny in a blue coat popped up its head. Rabbits. 78 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:35.720 Farmer MC Gregor carefully stepped away from his lettuce as not to draw attention of 79 00:08:35.759 --> 00:08:41.240 the rabbit. He would wait and see if the rabbit was stupid enough to 80 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:46.590 approach the lettuce and get caught in the snare. Peter saw McGregor and knew 81 00:08:46.629 --> 00:08:50.230 what lay ahead. He twitched his ear and thumped his leg upon the garden 82 00:08:50.350 --> 00:08:54.070 soil. The signal was made. Squirrel nut and scampered along the garden fence, 83 00:08:54.350 --> 00:08:58.980 making a skiddering noise that drew farmer McGregor's attention. Mister Jeremy Fisher hopped 84 00:09:00.019 --> 00:09:05.059 from the bushes holding a rope that he bounced and would wound gingerly around Mc 85 00:09:05.100 --> 00:09:09.899 Gregor's feet. Tom Kitton and his sister's moppet and mittens took the other end 86 00:09:09.940 --> 00:09:13.450 of the robe and playfully pulled it tightly, yet loose enough not to draw 87 00:09:13.490 --> 00:09:18.090 attention. As they scampered into the nearby carrot bed. Farmer MC Gregor turned 88 00:09:18.169 --> 00:09:22.610 from Squirrel Nutkin and found that the rabbit was now nearer to him than before. 89 00:09:22.049 --> 00:09:26.879 He cocked his head into fuddlement towards the rabbit, footish rabbit, he 90 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:31.480 muttered an aw Peter hopped closer to farmer Mc Gregor and then, without hesitation, 91 00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:35.720 began to nibble on the lettuce. McGregor took a step closer to Peter, 92 00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:41.070 only to find that his feet were bound and thus causing him to stumble 93 00:09:41.149 --> 00:09:45.990 and fall, his head hitting a well placed rock and knocking him out cold. 94 00:09:46.870 --> 00:09:50.750 Upon awaking from his trauma and do sleep, farmer McGregor found that he 95 00:09:50.830 --> 00:09:54.340 could not move his arms and legs as they were tied to the cross like 96 00:09:54.500 --> 00:10:00.539 structure in the middle of a meadow beneath the giant tree surrounding his visage. 97 00:10:00.980 --> 00:10:05.100 Staring down upon him were forest preachers, a squirrel, a toad, some 98 00:10:05.220 --> 00:10:11.169 kittens and four rabbits, one in a denim blue coat. The chittering and 99 00:10:11.330 --> 00:10:16.529 chattering of at him angrily and then quickly vanished from view. It was then, 100 00:10:16.850 --> 00:10:22.919 when they vanished, that farmer McGregor slowly and jerkily began to rise, 101 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:28.720 as if being pulled upwards on the structure he was bound to. Peter Yelled 102 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:33.159 Paul to the meadowland creatures as they all hoisted farmer McGregor up through a series 103 00:10:33.200 --> 00:10:37.549 of pulleys and rope that utilized the thick branches of the tree. Once McGregor 104 00:10:37.629 --> 00:10:43.870 was up and stationary, the animals gathered before him and cheered. Farmer McGregor, 105 00:10:43.950 --> 00:10:46.350 confused by the abilities and actions of the animals, began to quickly notice 106 00:10:46.629 --> 00:10:52.379 that he stood in the middle of a Pentagram. Each of the animals moved 107 00:10:52.539 --> 00:10:56.379 from before him to a point on the star. They began to make a 108 00:10:56.419 --> 00:11:01.539 rhythmic grunts as the rabbit in the blue coat approached with a branch ablaze with 109 00:11:01.659 --> 00:11:05.169 fire. This is for my father, this is for all of our departed. 110 00:11:05.769 --> 00:11:09.610 You have killed an to them with no thought. We avenge them and 111 00:11:09.850 --> 00:11:13.610 give you, to the dark load of the meadow, the when to go, 112 00:11:13.330 --> 00:11:18.090 and in doing so we lay claim to your land and your garden. 113 00:11:18.529 --> 00:11:24.080 You will never ever hum us again. Then the animals began to chant hey, 114 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:26.000 when to go, Hey, when to go, hell, when to 115 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:31.240 go. As Peter set farmer McGregor on fire. The animals, each at 116 00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:37.389 their points, watched as farmer McGregor twisted and screamed upon the frame. He 117 00:11:37.509 --> 00:11:43.309 was a scarecrow on fire. Their eyes shined in the fires glow, each 118 00:11:43.470 --> 00:11:50.220 them continuing the fire when it died down, each of them adding their own 119 00:11:50.299 --> 00:11:54.980 version of vengeance to the fire. And when the last gasp of air left 120 00:11:54.019 --> 00:12:01.490 McGregor's lungs, a haunting hush fell upon the meadow. I will ower your 121 00:12:01.570 --> 00:12:07.009 request. The land and the Farms are yours. The when to go spoke 122 00:12:07.049 --> 00:12:11.330 upon the vanishing fog. Other rabbit arrived home to find that her children were 123 00:12:11.409 --> 00:12:16.879 playing inside the Warren peacefully. On the table was a wrapped parcel surrounded by 124 00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:20.639 fresh garden vegetables. Children, where did this come from, she asked, 125 00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:26.159 worried that they had ventured into the garden and not heeded her warning. Ben, 126 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:31.350 she delivered it to us today. We think the packages meet Peter Smile. 127 00:12:31.149 --> 00:12:35.070 We should make a stew. Mother Rabbit had never had meat, but 128 00:12:35.149 --> 00:12:39.309 it smelled smoky and delicious. Yes, I will make a stew with this 129 00:12:39.429 --> 00:12:43.110 in the vegetables. We should invite the neighbors over and enjoy the stew with 130 00:12:43.190 --> 00:12:48.899 us. Yes, let's invite everyone. The girls chimed. I wonder what 131 00:12:48.059 --> 00:12:52.659 type of meat this is. Mother Rabbit lifted the package examine it closely. 132 00:12:52.980 --> 00:12:58.340 I'm not sure Pierre smouthed, but Benjie said it was farm fresh, so 133 00:12:58.500 --> 00:13:01.929 it must be good and healthy. And with that, mother rabbit made a 134 00:13:03.009 --> 00:13:26.759 wonderful stew for all to enjoy. Good afternoon, Sir Richard. Yes, 135 00:13:26.629 --> 00:13:31.470 I know, your son had this wild idea to start his own version of 136 00:13:31.629 --> 00:13:35.309 mask, and they have besmirched the very fiber of everything we stand for. 137 00:13:37.750 --> 00:13:43.100 What's that? Yes, I know he's a good boy and has had a 138 00:13:43.139 --> 00:13:48.700 rough life, but his friends, not mine, by soiling your good name. 139 00:13:52.019 --> 00:13:58.970 What's that? Christmas? Of course we will stay. Let's gather around 140 00:14:00.009 --> 00:14:05.850 the fireplace and you can share your wonderful stories with us. Cool, Oh, 141 00:14:05.970 --> 00:14:09.879 Chad, oh, he was having a moment of weakness and your idiot 142 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:16.399 son inadvertently blew him up. You've been listening to a podcast of the pod 143 00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:20.480 fix network. Discover more audible gems like this at pod fix networkcom. Make 144 00:14:20.519 --> 00:14:24.350 sure to catch up to the minute networks and Anigan's by following at pod fix 145 00:14:24.429 --> 00:14:30.590 on twitter, official underscore pod fix on instagram at pod fix network on facebook 146 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:35.190 and make sure to subscribe to pod fix presents wherever you choose to find podcasts. 147 00:14:35.750 --> 00:14:48.139 The pod fix network artist owned and love. Come on, Lloyd, 148 00:14:48.220 --> 00:15:03.690 final stretch. You can do this. I wonder where they were coming from. 149 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:07.879 Probably just lost.