It's What's For Dinner

WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.480 --> 00:00:11.429 I cannot believe this is where my life has ended up. I had standing, 2 00:00:13.910 --> 00:00:21.940 I had a mission. Now I'm stuck wrangling the world's largest collection of 3 00:00:22.059 --> 00:00:30.300 dipships. Come on, Mr Warrington, we're going to set up a new, 4 00:00:30.379 --> 00:00:39.850 better version of mask, one that's not scary. The stories of the 5 00:00:39.929 --> 00:00:46.570 Old Mask Make Me pee the bed. And now what do we have? 6 00:00:50.119 --> 00:01:00.039 Jokes? Yeah, guys, yeah, you know what? Keith Papaphonkqus and 7 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:02.799 only chance that he caught. I don't think he called. I'd in fact, 8 00:01:03.159 --> 00:01:04.750 when L S Outomn, I think he's on an island someplace, just 9 00:01:06.069 --> 00:01:08.629 on vacation. So get we're going to do this. Worth the piano. 10 00:01:08.790 --> 00:01:14.670 Just roll it over and yeah, have fun with us one. Okay, 11 00:01:14.829 --> 00:01:19.260 have fun now. I don't even care if you turn around this time, 12 00:01:19.379 --> 00:01:29.260 just hit record. Let's go with him. Fishheads, fishheads, Rollie Pollie, 13 00:01:29.379 --> 00:01:38.769 fishheads, fishheads, fishheads, eat them up yum in the morning, 14 00:01:38.810 --> 00:01:49.760 laughing happy, fish heads in the evening, floating in the soup. Fishheads, 15 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:59.640 fishheads, Rollie Polie, fish heads, fishheads, fishheads, eat them 16 00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:08.150 up yum. Ask A fishhead anything you want to. They won't answer. 17 00:02:09.430 --> 00:02:21.740 They can't talk. Fishheads, fishheads, Rollie Polie, fishheads, fishheads, 18 00:02:22.340 --> 00:02:30.090 fishheads. EAT THEM UP YUM. I took a fishhead out to see a 19 00:02:30.210 --> 00:02:39.729 movie. Didn't have to pay to get in. FISHHEADS, fishheads. Rollie 20 00:02:39.849 --> 00:02:51.240 polie. Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads. EAT THEM UP YUM. They can't 21 00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:59.349 play baseball, they don't wear sweaters, they're not good dancers, they don't 22 00:02:59.669 --> 00:03:10.430 play drums. FISHHEADS, fishheads. Rolie polie. Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads. 23 00:03:12.860 --> 00:03:23.900 EAT THEM UP YUM. Rolie Polie, fishheads are never seen drinking cappuccino 24 00:03:23.979 --> 00:03:34.250 and Italian restaurants with Oriental Women. Yeah, fishheads, fishheads. Rolie polye. 25 00:03:34.289 --> 00:03:53.240 Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads. EAT THEM UP YUM. They have turned 26 00:03:53.319 --> 00:04:00.949 this hallowed institution into a collection of toilet humor and child death. But it's 27 00:04:01.030 --> 00:04:05.629 fine. I will go convinced, DNA, that we need to stay and 28 00:04:05.830 --> 00:04:12.539 Beg for forgiveness. That's what we'll do. Start on the proper cloth and 29 00:04:12.620 --> 00:04:18.180 let the Holy Trinity of Bloff End for themselves. They were all late editions 30 00:04:18.300 --> 00:04:30.290 anyway, so why even by the trying to get them on track? Our 31 00:04:30.410 --> 00:04:34.209 story takes place in an English garden on a fresh, dewy morning, moments 32 00:04:34.290 --> 00:04:40.600 before the sunrise. There just outside the garden. In the Rolling Hills of 33 00:04:40.680 --> 00:04:44.800 the English countryside, deep in the roots of a large Old Tree, a 34 00:04:44.959 --> 00:04:49.040 Warren of rabbits woke from a restful night's sleep. Mother rabbits stood by the 35 00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:55.949 stove making porridge, calling out to her slumbering children. Peter, flopsy, 36 00:04:56.470 --> 00:05:01.310 Mopsye cotton tell, rise and shine, breakfast is on the table. Wake 37 00:05:01.389 --> 00:05:06.779 Up, wake up, a new day awaits. The four little rabbits stretched 38 00:05:06.899 --> 00:05:12.939 and yawned and slowly pulled themselves from the nest of warm blankets made from found 39 00:05:13.060 --> 00:05:17.819 clothes. They rubbed their faces and cleared their eyes of sleep as they groggily 40 00:05:17.899 --> 00:05:23.810 arrived at the table, where warm bowls of Porridge and fresh carrot cake muffins 41 00:05:23.850 --> 00:05:29.490 awaited. Good morning, Mamma, flopsy, mopsy and cotton tell said together. 42 00:05:29.529 --> 00:05:34.089 They always spoke as one. Good morning girls. Mother Rabbit answered with 43 00:05:34.129 --> 00:05:39.720 a soft kiss on each of their foreheads. Morning, Mum Peter Grumbled, 44 00:05:40.079 --> 00:05:46.040 his bluecoat buttoned crookedly, one ear bent down lazily. I will be off 45 00:05:46.079 --> 00:05:49.589 to mark at this morning. Jemima and Miss Tiggily wiggly will be with me. 46 00:05:49.990 --> 00:05:54.310 I asked that you stay inside and do not go into the garden. 47 00:05:54.829 --> 00:05:59.829 She said the last part directly to Peter. Yes, Mama, flopsy, 48 00:05:59.910 --> 00:06:04.939 Mopson and Catton tell smiled and answered cheerfully all mom Peter Sighed. I was 49 00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:10.620 going to go get some squash blossoms and beat leaves today with Benji. No 50 00:06:11.019 --> 00:06:15.100 such thing. You will not go into the garden without me. Remember what 51 00:06:15.259 --> 00:06:19.689 happened to your father. The table fell silent. Everyone remembered what happened to 52 00:06:19.769 --> 00:06:25.290 their father. Farmer MURC Gregor had trapped his father and eaten him for Easter 53 00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:31.209 breakfast just last year. Everyone in the neighborhood knew that Father Rabbit was inebriated 54 00:06:31.370 --> 00:06:35.959 on fermented vegetable juice and was fornicating with the garden sculpture of a fairy when 55 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:42.040 he stumbled into a trap. Yes, Mama, the girls chimed mournfully. 56 00:06:42.759 --> 00:06:46.839 Fine, Peter rolled his eyes. I won't be gone too too low, 57 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:49.629 so please just stay inside. And with that, mother rabbit put on her 58 00:06:49.629 --> 00:06:54.870 shawl and hopped out the front door. The Warren was silent for a few 59 00:06:54.990 --> 00:06:59.829 moments. flopsy pushed away from the table and went to the door, watching 60 00:06:59.949 --> 00:07:04.100 her mother fade away. In the morning. Missed Peter Watched flopsy with anticipation. 61 00:07:04.779 --> 00:07:12.259 She turned and she and her sister spoke. Mother is gone, then 62 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:16.649 let it begin. Peter smiled a devilish smile. The Miss Hung hauntingly over 63 00:07:16.730 --> 00:07:20.930 the garden. Benjie stood by the Garden Gate, I scanning the meadow, 64 00:07:21.410 --> 00:07:27.170 waiting for his cousin to arrive. From the fog, tiny brown rabbit appeared 65 00:07:27.209 --> 00:07:31.000 in a blue denim coat with shiny buttons and approached Benji with a feverish hop. 66 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:38.240 Morning Been, Peter said breathlessly. Ready to begin. Benjie, nervous 67 00:07:38.439 --> 00:07:43.399 as well? A rabbit replied. Yes, Peter mcgregory is in the garden 68 00:07:44.310 --> 00:07:47.870 and the others, the others at their post waiting for your command. Benjiea 69 00:07:47.949 --> 00:07:55.069 from good Peter's eyes glinted with a bit of mayhem. Farmer McGregor stood in 70 00:07:55.110 --> 00:07:59.459 the lettuce patch counting the heads of lettuce. To his satisfaction, it's going 71 00:07:59.540 --> 00:08:03.540 to be a good year for cabbages and lettuce, I do say so myself. 72 00:08:03.019 --> 00:08:07.379 He chuckled, unaware that the metal and creatures hiding and waiting for Peter's 73 00:08:07.459 --> 00:08:11.779 command. Now, if only those damn did rabbits would stay away from them. 74 00:08:13.370 --> 00:08:16.490 Farmer McGregor set a few snares around the lattice patch. Should I catch 75 00:08:16.610 --> 00:08:22.850 them while I will be having rabbit again for east. He smiled, but 76 00:08:22.970 --> 00:08:26.689 his smile turned to a frown when, up from the farthest edge of the 77 00:08:26.810 --> 00:08:31.639 patch a brown bunny in a blue coat popped up its head. Rabbits. 78 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:35.720 Farmer MC Gregor carefully stepped away from his lettuce as not to draw attention of 79 00:08:35.759 --> 00:08:41.240 the rabbit. He would wait and see if the rabbit was stupid enough to 80 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:46.590 approach the lettuce and get caught in the snare. Peter saw McGregor and knew 81 00:08:46.629 --> 00:08:50.230 what lay ahead. He twitched his ear and thumped his leg upon the garden 82 00:08:50.350 --> 00:08:54.070 soil. The signal was made. Squirrel nut and scampered along the garden fence, 83 00:08:54.350 --> 00:08:58.980 making a skiddering noise that drew farmer McGregor's attention. Mister Jeremy Fisher hopped 84 00:09:00.019 --> 00:09:05.059 from the bushes holding a rope that he bounced and would wound gingerly around Mc 85 00:09:05.100 --> 00:09:09.899 Gregor's feet. Tom Kitton and his sister's moppet and mittens took the other end 86 00:09:09.940 --> 00:09:13.450 of the robe and playfully pulled it tightly, yet loose enough not to draw 87 00:09:13.490 --> 00:09:18.090 attention. As they scampered into the nearby carrot bed. Farmer MC Gregor turned 88 00:09:18.169 --> 00:09:22.610 from Squirrel Nutkin and found that the rabbit was now nearer to him than before. 89 00:09:22.049 --> 00:09:26.879 He cocked his head into fuddlement towards the rabbit, footish rabbit, he 90 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:31.480 muttered an aw Peter hopped closer to farmer Mc Gregor and then, without hesitation, 91 00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:35.720 began to nibble on the lettuce. McGregor took a step closer to Peter, 92 00:09:37.279 --> 00:09:41.070 only to find that his feet were bound and thus causing him to stumble 93 00:09:41.149 --> 00:09:45.990 and fall, his head hitting a well placed rock and knocking him out cold. 94 00:09:46.870 --> 00:09:50.750 Upon awaking from his trauma and do sleep, farmer McGregor found that he 95 00:09:50.830 --> 00:09:54.340 could not move his arms and legs as they were tied to the cross like 96 00:09:54.500 --> 00:10:00.539 structure in the middle of a meadow beneath the giant tree surrounding his visage. 97 00:10:00.980 --> 00:10:05.100 Staring down upon him were forest preachers, a squirrel, a toad, some 98 00:10:05.220 --> 00:10:11.169 kittens and four rabbits, one in a denim blue coat. The chittering and 99 00:10:11.330 --> 00:10:16.529 chattering of at him angrily and then quickly vanished from view. It was then, 100 00:10:16.850 --> 00:10:22.919 when they vanished, that farmer McGregor slowly and jerkily began to rise, 101 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:28.720 as if being pulled upwards on the structure he was bound to. Peter Yelled 102 00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:33.159 Paul to the meadowland creatures as they all hoisted farmer McGregor up through a series 103 00:10:33.200 --> 00:10:37.549 of pulleys and rope that utilized the thick branches of the tree. Once McGregor 104 00:10:37.629 --> 00:10:43.870 was up and stationary, the animals gathered before him and cheered. Farmer McGregor, 105 00:10:43.950 --> 00:10:46.350 confused by the abilities and actions of the animals, began to quickly notice 106 00:10:46.629 --> 00:10:52.379 that he stood in the middle of a Pentagram. Each of the animals moved 107 00:10:52.539 --> 00:10:56.379 from before him to a point on the star. They began to make a 108 00:10:56.419 --> 00:11:01.539 rhythmic grunts as the rabbit in the blue coat approached with a branch ablaze with 109 00:11:01.659 --> 00:11:05.169 fire. This is for my father, this is for all of our departed. 110 00:11:05.769 --> 00:11:09.610 You have killed an to them with no thought. We avenge them and 111 00:11:09.850 --> 00:11:13.610 give you, to the dark load of the meadow, the when to go, 112 00:11:13.330 --> 00:11:18.090 and in doing so we lay claim to your land and your garden. 113 00:11:18.529 --> 00:11:24.080 You will never ever hum us again. Then the animals began to chant hey, 114 00:11:24.279 --> 00:11:26.000 when to go, Hey, when to go, hell, when to 115 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:31.240 go. As Peter set farmer McGregor on fire. The animals, each at 116 00:11:31.240 --> 00:11:37.389 their points, watched as farmer McGregor twisted and screamed upon the frame. He 117 00:11:37.509 --> 00:11:43.309 was a scarecrow on fire. Their eyes shined in the fires glow, each 118 00:11:43.470 --> 00:11:50.220 them continuing the fire when it died down, each of them adding their own 119 00:11:50.299 --> 00:11:54.980 version of vengeance to the fire. And when the last gasp of air left 120 00:11:54.019 --> 00:12:01.490 McGregor's lungs, a haunting hush fell upon the meadow. I will ower your 121 00:12:01.570 --> 00:12:07.009 request. The land and the Farms are yours. The when to go spoke 122 00:12:07.049 --> 00:12:11.330 upon the vanishing fog. Other rabbit arrived home to find that her children were 123 00:12:11.409 --> 00:12:16.879 playing inside the Warren peacefully. On the table was a wrapped parcel surrounded by 124 00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:20.639 fresh garden vegetables. Children, where did this come from, she asked, 125 00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:26.159 worried that they had ventured into the garden and not heeded her warning. Ben, 126 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:31.350 she delivered it to us today. We think the packages meet Peter Smile. 127 00:12:31.149 --> 00:12:35.070 We should make a stew. Mother Rabbit had never had meat, but 128 00:12:35.149 --> 00:12:39.309 it smelled smoky and delicious. Yes, I will make a stew with this 129 00:12:39.429 --> 00:12:43.110 in the vegetables. We should invite the neighbors over and enjoy the stew with 130 00:12:43.190 --> 00:12:48.899 us. Yes, let's invite everyone. The girls chimed. I wonder what 131 00:12:48.059 --> 00:12:52.659 type of meat this is. Mother Rabbit lifted the package examine it closely. 132 00:12:52.980 --> 00:12:58.340 I'm not sure Pierre smouthed, but Benjie said it was farm fresh, so 133 00:12:58.500 --> 00:13:01.929 it must be good and healthy. And with that, mother rabbit made a 134 00:13:03.009 --> 00:13:26.759 wonderful stew for all to enjoy. Good afternoon, Sir Richard. Yes, 135 00:13:26.629 --> 00:13:31.470 I know, your son had this wild idea to start his own version of 136 00:13:31.629 --> 00:13:35.309 mask, and they have besmirched the very fiber of everything we stand for. 137 00:13:37.750 --> 00:13:43.100 What's that? Yes, I know he's a good boy and has had a 138 00:13:43.139 --> 00:13:48.700 rough life, but his friends, not mine, by soiling your good name. 139 00:13:52.019 --> 00:13:58.970 What's that? Christmas? Of course we will stay. Let's gather around 140 00:14:00.009 --> 00:14:05.850 the fireplace and you can share your wonderful stories with us. Cool, Oh, 141 00:14:05.970 --> 00:14:09.879 Chad, oh, he was having a moment of weakness and your idiot 142 00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:16.399 son inadvertently blew him up. You've been listening to a podcast of the pod 143 00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:20.480 fix network. Discover more audible gems like this at pod fix networkcom. Make 144 00:14:20.519 --> 00:14:24.350 sure to catch up to the minute networks and Anigan's by following at pod fix 145 00:14:24.429 --> 00:14:30.590 on twitter, official underscore pod fix on instagram at pod fix network on facebook 146 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:35.190 and make sure to subscribe to pod fix presents wherever you choose to find podcasts. 147 00:14:35.750 --> 00:14:48.139 The pod fix network artist owned and love. Come on, Lloyd, 148 00:14:48.220 --> 00:15:03.690 final stretch. You can do this. I wonder where they were coming from. 149 00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:07.879 Probably just lost.