Lloyd continues his journey to find Dana, Keith is back to fill in for Chad, and BrJordan thinks it's April.
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CreditsHost:
Performers:
Special Guest:
Today’s Poetry Selection:
“Fish Heads” - Barnes and Barnes
Stories:
Farm Fresh - BrJordanLloyd's Long Walk - Chad
Producer/Editor/Engineer: Dick CabezaIntern: Dana
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About UsWhat happens when you take three people, put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed?
Down To Folk is manufactured by M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K.
**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction. The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers. No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**
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Transcript
WEBVTT
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I cannot believe this is where my
life has ended up. I had standing,
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I had a mission. Now I'm
stuck wrangling the world's largest collection of
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dipships. Come on, Mr Warrington, we're going to set up a new,
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better version of mask, one that's
not scary. The stories of the
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00:00:39.929 --> 00:00:46.570
Old Mask Make Me pee the bed. And now what do we have?
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00:00:50.119 --> 00:01:00.039
Jokes? Yeah, guys, yeah, you know what? Keith Papaphonkqus and
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00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:02.799
only chance that he caught. I
don't think he called. I'd in fact,
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00:01:03.159 --> 00:01:04.750
when L S Outomn, I think
he's on an island someplace, just
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00:01:06.069 --> 00:01:08.629
on vacation. So get we're going
to do this. Worth the piano.
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Just roll it over and yeah,
have fun with us one. Okay,
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00:01:14.829 --> 00:01:19.260
have fun now. I don't even
care if you turn around this time,
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just hit record. Let's go with
him. Fishheads, fishheads, Rollie Pollie,
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fishheads, fishheads, fishheads, eat
them up yum in the morning,
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laughing happy, fish heads in the
evening, floating in the soup. Fishheads,
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fishheads, Rollie Polie, fish heads, fishheads, fishheads, eat them
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up yum. Ask A fishhead anything
you want to. They won't answer.
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They can't talk. Fishheads, fishheads, Rollie Polie, fishheads, fishheads,
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fishheads. EAT THEM UP YUM.
I took a fishhead out to see a
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movie. Didn't have to pay to
get in. FISHHEADS, fishheads. Rollie
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polie. Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads. EAT THEM UP YUM. They can't
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play baseball, they don't wear sweaters, they're not good dancers, they don't
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play drums. FISHHEADS, fishheads.
Rolie polie. Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads.
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EAT THEM UP YUM. Rolie Polie, fishheads are never seen drinking cappuccino
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and Italian restaurants with Oriental Women.
Yeah, fishheads, fishheads. Rolie polye.
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Fishheads, fishheads, fishheads. EAT
THEM UP YUM. They have turned
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this hallowed institution into a collection of
toilet humor and child death. But it's
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fine. I will go convinced,
DNA, that we need to stay and
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Beg for forgiveness. That's what we'll
do. Start on the proper cloth and
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let the Holy Trinity of Bloff End
for themselves. They were all late editions
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anyway, so why even by the
trying to get them on track? Our
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story takes place in an English garden
on a fresh, dewy morning, moments
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before the sunrise. There just outside
the garden. In the Rolling Hills of
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the English countryside, deep in the
roots of a large Old Tree, a
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Warren of rabbits woke from a restful
night's sleep. Mother rabbits stood by the
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stove making porridge, calling out to
her slumbering children. Peter, flopsy,
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Mopsye cotton tell, rise and shine, breakfast is on the table. Wake
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Up, wake up, a new
day awaits. The four little rabbits stretched
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and yawned and slowly pulled themselves from
the nest of warm blankets made from found
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clothes. They rubbed their faces and
cleared their eyes of sleep as they groggily
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arrived at the table, where warm
bowls of Porridge and fresh carrot cake muffins
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awaited. Good morning, Mamma,
flopsy, mopsy and cotton tell said together.
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They always spoke as one. Good
morning girls. Mother Rabbit answered with
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a soft kiss on each of their
foreheads. Morning, Mum Peter Grumbled,
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his bluecoat buttoned crookedly, one ear
bent down lazily. I will be off
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to mark at this morning. Jemima
and Miss Tiggily wiggly will be with me.
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I asked that you stay inside and
do not go into the garden.
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She said the last part directly to
Peter. Yes, Mama, flopsy,
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Mopson and Catton tell smiled and answered
cheerfully all mom Peter Sighed. I was
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going to go get some squash blossoms
and beat leaves today with Benji. No
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such thing. You will not go
into the garden without me. Remember what
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happened to your father. The table
fell silent. Everyone remembered what happened to
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their father. Farmer MURC Gregor had
trapped his father and eaten him for Easter
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breakfast just last year. Everyone in
the neighborhood knew that Father Rabbit was inebriated
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on fermented vegetable juice and was fornicating
with the garden sculpture of a fairy when
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he stumbled into a trap. Yes, Mama, the girls chimed mournfully.
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Fine, Peter rolled his eyes.
I won't be gone too too low,
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so please just stay inside. And
with that, mother rabbit put on her
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shawl and hopped out the front door. The Warren was silent for a few
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moments. flopsy pushed away from the
table and went to the door, watching
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her mother fade away. In the
morning. Missed Peter Watched flopsy with anticipation.
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She turned and she and her sister
spoke. Mother is gone, then
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let it begin. Peter smiled a
devilish smile. The Miss Hung hauntingly over
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the garden. Benjie stood by the
Garden Gate, I scanning the meadow,
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waiting for his cousin to arrive.
From the fog, tiny brown rabbit appeared
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in a blue denim coat with shiny
buttons and approached Benji with a feverish hop.
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Morning Been, Peter said breathlessly.
Ready to begin. Benjie, nervous
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as well? A rabbit replied.
Yes, Peter mcgregory is in the garden
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and the others, the others at
their post waiting for your command. Benjiea
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from good Peter's eyes glinted with a
bit of mayhem. Farmer McGregor stood in
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the lettuce patch counting the heads of
lettuce. To his satisfaction, it's going
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to be a good year for cabbages
and lettuce, I do say so myself.
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He chuckled, unaware that the metal
and creatures hiding and waiting for Peter's
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command. Now, if only those
damn did rabbits would stay away from them.
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Farmer McGregor set a few snares around
the lattice patch. Should I catch
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them while I will be having rabbit
again for east. He smiled, but
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his smile turned to a frown when, up from the farthest edge of the
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patch a brown bunny in a blue
coat popped up its head. Rabbits.
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Farmer MC Gregor carefully stepped away from
his lettuce as not to draw attention of
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the rabbit. He would wait and
see if the rabbit was stupid enough to
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approach the lettuce and get caught in
the snare. Peter saw McGregor and knew
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what lay ahead. He twitched his
ear and thumped his leg upon the garden
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soil. The signal was made.
Squirrel nut and scampered along the garden fence,
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making a skiddering noise that drew farmer
McGregor's attention. Mister Jeremy Fisher hopped
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from the bushes holding a rope that
he bounced and would wound gingerly around Mc
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Gregor's feet. Tom Kitton and his
sister's moppet and mittens took the other end
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of the robe and playfully pulled it
tightly, yet loose enough not to draw
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attention. As they scampered into the
nearby carrot bed. Farmer MC Gregor turned
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from Squirrel Nutkin and found that the
rabbit was now nearer to him than before.
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He cocked his head into fuddlement towards
the rabbit, footish rabbit, he
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muttered an aw Peter hopped closer to
farmer Mc Gregor and then, without hesitation,
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began to nibble on the lettuce.
McGregor took a step closer to Peter,
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only to find that his feet were
bound and thus causing him to stumble
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and fall, his head hitting a
well placed rock and knocking him out cold.
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Upon awaking from his trauma and do
sleep, farmer McGregor found that he
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could not move his arms and legs
as they were tied to the cross like
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structure in the middle of a meadow
beneath the giant tree surrounding his visage.
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Staring down upon him were forest preachers, a squirrel, a toad, some
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kittens and four rabbits, one in
a denim blue coat. The chittering and
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00:10:11.330 --> 00:10:16.529
chattering of at him angrily and then
quickly vanished from view. It was then,
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00:10:16.850 --> 00:10:22.919
when they vanished, that farmer McGregor
slowly and jerkily began to rise,
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as if being pulled upwards on the
structure he was bound to. Peter Yelled
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Paul to the meadowland creatures as they
all hoisted farmer McGregor up through a series
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of pulleys and rope that utilized the
thick branches of the tree. Once McGregor
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was up and stationary, the animals
gathered before him and cheered. Farmer McGregor,
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confused by the abilities and actions of
the animals, began to quickly notice
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that he stood in the middle of
a Pentagram. Each of the animals moved
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from before him to a point on
the star. They began to make a
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rhythmic grunts as the rabbit in the
blue coat approached with a branch ablaze with
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fire. This is for my father, this is for all of our departed.
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You have killed an to them with
no thought. We avenge them and
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give you, to the dark load
of the meadow, the when to go,
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and in doing so we lay claim
to your land and your garden.
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You will never ever hum us again. Then the animals began to chant hey,
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when to go, Hey, when
to go, hell, when to
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go. As Peter set farmer McGregor
on fire. The animals, each at
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their points, watched as farmer McGregor
twisted and screamed upon the frame. He
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was a scarecrow on fire. Their
eyes shined in the fires glow, each
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them continuing the fire when it died
down, each of them adding their own
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version of vengeance to the fire.
And when the last gasp of air left
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McGregor's lungs, a haunting hush fell
upon the meadow. I will ower your
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00:12:01.570 --> 00:12:07.009
request. The land and the Farms
are yours. The when to go spoke
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upon the vanishing fog. Other rabbit
arrived home to find that her children were
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playing inside the Warren peacefully. On
the table was a wrapped parcel surrounded by
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fresh garden vegetables. Children, where
did this come from, she asked,
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worried that they had ventured into the
garden and not heeded her warning. Ben,
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she delivered it to us today.
We think the packages meet Peter Smile.
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We should make a stew. Mother
Rabbit had never had meat, but
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it smelled smoky and delicious. Yes, I will make a stew with this
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in the vegetables. We should invite
the neighbors over and enjoy the stew with
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us. Yes, let's invite everyone. The girls chimed. I wonder what
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type of meat this is. Mother
Rabbit lifted the package examine it closely.
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I'm not sure Pierre smouthed, but
Benjie said it was farm fresh, so
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it must be good and healthy.
And with that, mother rabbit made a
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wonderful stew for all to enjoy.
Good afternoon, Sir Richard. Yes,
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I know, your son had this
wild idea to start his own version of
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00:13:31.629 --> 00:13:35.309
mask, and they have besmirched the
very fiber of everything we stand for.
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What's that? Yes, I know
he's a good boy and has had a
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rough life, but his friends,
not mine, by soiling your good name.
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What's that? Christmas? Of course
we will stay. Let's gather around
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00:14:00.009 --> 00:14:05.850
the fireplace and you can share your
wonderful stories with us. Cool, Oh,
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00:14:05.970 --> 00:14:09.879
Chad, oh, he was having
a moment of weakness and your idiot
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00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:16.399
son inadvertently blew him up. You've
been listening to a podcast of the pod
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00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:20.480
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The pod fix network artist owned and
love. Come on, Lloyd,
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00:14:48.220 --> 00:15:03.690
final stretch. You can do this. I wonder where they were coming from.
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Probably just lost.