Aug. 4, 2021

Hairy

Hairy

A fairy is born, a story is told, and so much hair.


A fairy is born, a story is told, and so much hair. 

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About UsWhat happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed? 

Down To Folk is manufactured by M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K. 

**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**  

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Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:08.869 Greetings and welcome to the podcast equivalent of gas station Sushi. We have three 2 00:00:08.910 --> 00:00:12.669 stories for you this week. I guess it was a slow week in true 3 00:00:12.750 --> 00:00:18.309 crime land, but I do have some good news. This week's episode is 4 00:00:18.429 --> 00:00:23.059 one hundred percent chilly free. Welcome, one and all, to down to 5 00:00:23.219 --> 00:00:39.890 folk. Enjoy. Everyone knows that when the first child laughed, it shattered 6 00:00:40.090 --> 00:00:45.250 into a million pieces, and those pieces were the first of the fairies, 7 00:00:45.929 --> 00:00:51.320 but very little is known about the fairies that were first created by the first 8 00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:57.840 Moan of Ecstasy. Well, it wasn't fairies, it was more like a 9 00:00:58.119 --> 00:01:03.430 fairy, and that fairy was named Frank. Well, other fairies were luminous 10 00:01:03.469 --> 00:01:08.950 and colorful, frank was not. He was short for a fairy, he 11 00:01:10.829 --> 00:01:15.390 was around he was prematurely balding, which added insult to any injury, as 12 00:01:15.469 --> 00:01:19.939 he was covered in body hair. He had one wonky eye and really fucked 13 00:01:19.980 --> 00:01:26.260 up teeth. His wings were stubby and he could barely fly. But as 14 00:01:26.420 --> 00:01:30.459 odd as he looked, he had a kind heart and a passion to be 15 00:01:30.620 --> 00:01:34.730 great. All the other fairies did not know what to do with Frank. 16 00:01:36.489 --> 00:01:42.689 See, upon creation, every fairy was given a special power or responsibility some 17 00:01:42.890 --> 00:01:47.159 were guardians of teeth, while, conversely, some were responsible for sugar plums 18 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:51.799 and sweets. Each fairy could choose to be good or bad, depending on 19 00:01:51.840 --> 00:01:56.000 the nature of their skill sets, and if you were lucky, you could 20 00:01:56.000 --> 00:02:00.000 even be granted the ability to be a fairy godmother. But the fairy community 21 00:02:00.120 --> 00:02:06.829 was very particular about who could grant wishes, and recently one fairy godmother had 22 00:02:06.909 --> 00:02:12.990 gone rogue and was causing a lot of trouble. But Frank showed no specific 23 00:02:13.110 --> 00:02:17.340 aptitude towards any of the typical jobs that fairies would feel. However, he 24 00:02:19.219 --> 00:02:23.979 tried his hand, with some disastrous results. First, he attempted being a 25 00:02:24.139 --> 00:02:30.289 tooth fairy, only to discover that a child must be asleep and naturally lose 26 00:02:30.370 --> 00:02:36.650 their teeth in order for moneies to be exchanged. This was a gruesome discovery, 27 00:02:36.770 --> 00:02:40.610 as the child frank had visited needed to be seen by multiple magicians to 28 00:02:40.770 --> 00:02:46.759 clear the child's memory of frank yanking teeth out with pliers while the child screamed 29 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:52.800 in horror. Then he in turned as an assistant fairy, but got caught 30 00:02:52.879 --> 00:02:55.800 in a scandal and love triangle between a gree and fairy from Neverland. And 31 00:02:57.000 --> 00:03:01.229 her ward. He even tried to be a fairy godmother, but well, 32 00:03:02.189 --> 00:03:09.030 that is a whole other story. In the end, frank the fairy was 33 00:03:09.150 --> 00:03:15.580 determined to be utterly useless. Sad and dejected, frank left the land of 34 00:03:15.620 --> 00:03:21.379 the fairies and began to travel the country in search of himself and his purpose. 35 00:03:22.419 --> 00:03:24.460 As he traveled, he would stay at various motels along the way, 36 00:03:25.300 --> 00:03:30.889 tossing and turning on sleepless nights, frank's body hair would fall out and litter 37 00:03:30.009 --> 00:03:35.370 the motel room sheets, carpets and bathrooms. Dry as he might to clean 38 00:03:35.409 --> 00:03:39.889 up after himself, it proved impossible as there was too much hair and check 39 00:03:39.930 --> 00:03:46.759 out was normally around eleven. One night, while sitting at a bar surrounded 40 00:03:46.800 --> 00:03:53.159 by cereal mascots, he caught a news story on TV. Series of the 41 00:03:53.199 --> 00:03:58.349 lucky events have been the littering the county, lottery winners, long lost parents 42 00:03:58.430 --> 00:04:01.750 being found, lucky pennies saving lives and, of course, winning a presidency 43 00:04:01.870 --> 00:04:08.229 without a any political history or know how, each occurring after a night stay 44 00:04:08.669 --> 00:04:13.500 at a local motel. A map had been shown on the news program and 45 00:04:13.659 --> 00:04:16.939 it looked strangely familiar to frank. He pulled out a map of his previous 46 00:04:16.980 --> 00:04:21.899 motel stays and found that for each motel he stayed at, somebody got nott 47 00:04:21.939 --> 00:04:29.290 lucky. What a weird coincidence, frank thought to himself, his brain quickly 48 00:04:29.370 --> 00:04:33.649 connecting the dots, and he decided to prove his theory. That night, 49 00:04:34.329 --> 00:04:40.040 after a few drinks with three elves in a sea captain, frank stumbled back 50 00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:45.959 to his hotel alone, after much protest towards his drinking buddies, and proceeded 51 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:49.439 with his nightly routine of staring at the ceiling and watching scrambled porn on the 52 00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:55.110 Motel TV. The next morning he again cleaned up as much as he could 53 00:04:55.149 --> 00:04:59.509 of his shed body hair and left. He then moved on to the next 54 00:04:59.589 --> 00:05:03.870 town and stayed at a motel that was hosting a convention regarding living forever and 55 00:05:04.350 --> 00:05:10.139 loving it. Frank sat in the bar while Pale convention goers sat in the 56 00:05:10.180 --> 00:05:15.259 shadows and watched the TV to see if his theory was right. And, 57 00:05:15.500 --> 00:05:21.250 low and behold, that day someone got lucky in the same motel in which 58 00:05:21.290 --> 00:05:26.889 he had stayed the night before. This person, a humble farmer on his 59 00:05:26.970 --> 00:05:30.529 way to the big city, was nearly killed by a local, but luck 60 00:05:30.689 --> 00:05:34.209 was on the farmer's side, as his life was spared. I was a 61 00:05:34.449 --> 00:05:39.639 line there and both sleep and I rolled over and was completely grossed out by 62 00:05:39.680 --> 00:05:44.000 a pubic hair on my pillow. Leapt from my bed only to have the 63 00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:47.399 pillow explode by a gunshot from the room above. If I hadn't moved that 64 00:05:47.480 --> 00:05:54.470 very moment, I would have been aid. Frank smiled and began to laugh 65 00:05:54.750 --> 00:05:59.509 with joy. I did it, I did it, I did it, 66 00:06:00.589 --> 00:06:04.100 he exclaimed over the din of the Bar, and with that he flew back 67 00:06:04.139 --> 00:06:10.660 to fairyland to speak with the Fairy Council regarding what he had discovered. Once 68 00:06:10.740 --> 00:06:15.860 the fairy council heard of Frank's discovery, they concluded that, while extremely gross, 69 00:06:15.660 --> 00:06:20.370 frank the fairy had proven his theory correctly and that his specific skill set 70 00:06:20.730 --> 00:06:27.329 would be in the nature of good fairies. Thus the council gave frank his 71 00:06:27.529 --> 00:06:31.920 new title. So whenever you visit a hotel and you find a stray pubic 72 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:38.160 hair on your pillow or on the shower soap, know that frank the pube 73 00:06:38.279 --> 00:06:51.829 fairy has been there and you will indeed get lucky. Pubic hair. fairies 74 00:06:53.829 --> 00:06:58.790 that's where this show is headed. Maybe poetry boy has something better for us 75 00:06:58.910 --> 00:07:13.939 this week. DARE WE DREAM? The following was written by Edward Robertson. 76 00:07:15.579 --> 00:07:20.689 It's been one week since you looked at me, cocked your head to the 77 00:07:20.850 --> 00:07:30.759 side and said I'm angry. Five days since you laughed at me, saying 78 00:07:30.839 --> 00:07:40.480 get that together, come back and see me. Three days since the living 79 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:50.029 room I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you yesterday you'd forgiven 80 00:07:50.149 --> 00:08:01.259 me, but it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry. Hold 81 00:08:01.259 --> 00:08:09.019 it now and watch the Hood wink as I make you stop. Think you'll 82 00:08:09.139 --> 00:08:18.889 think you're looking at Aquaman. I summon fish to the dish, although I 83 00:08:18.170 --> 00:08:26.199 like the shall i Swiss? I like the Sushi because it never touched a 84 00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:35.600 frying pan. Hot like Wasabi. When I bust rhymes, big like lean 85 00:08:35.799 --> 00:08:46.070 rhymes, because I'm all about value. Bert camphort's got the bad hits. 86 00:08:46.110 --> 00:08:52.950 You try to match wits, you try to hold me, but I bust 87 00:08:52.110 --> 00:09:00.460 through. Gonna make a break and take a fake. I'd like a stinking 88 00:09:00.740 --> 00:09:07.500 aching shake. I like Vanilla. It's the finest of the flavors. got 89 00:09:07.659 --> 00:09:11.730 to see the show, because then you'll know the vertigo is going to grow. 90 00:09:13.330 --> 00:09:18.370 Because it's so dangerous you'll have to sign a waiver. How can I 91 00:09:18.610 --> 00:09:24.799 help it if I think you're funny when you're mad? Trying hard not to 92 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:31.840 smile, though I feel bad. I'm the kind of guy who laughs at 93 00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:37.320 a funeral. Can understand what I mean? Well, you soon will. 94 00:09:39.070 --> 00:09:45.190 I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve. I have a 95 00:09:45.389 --> 00:09:52.419 history of taking off my shirt. It's been one week since you looked at 96 00:09:52.460 --> 00:10:01.419 me through your arms in the air and said you're crazy. Five days sent 97 00:10:01.539 --> 00:10:07.059 you tackled me. I've still got the rug burns on both my knees. 98 00:10:07.409 --> 00:10:15.970 It's been three days since the afternoon you realized it's not my fault. Not 99 00:10:16.090 --> 00:10:24.279 a moment too soon. Yesterday you'd forgiven me, and now I sit back 100 00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:31.919 and wait till you say you're sorry. Chicken, EA, China, the 101 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:41.509 Chinese chicken. You have a drumstick and your brain stops ticking, watching x 102 00:10:41.590 --> 00:10:46.950 files with no lights on. Where Day La Mai zone, I hope the 103 00:10:48.070 --> 00:10:56.019 smoky man's in this one. Like Harrison Ford, I'm getting frantic like sting. 104 00:10:56.139 --> 00:11:05.649 I'm Tan trick like snickers guaranteed to satisfy. Like Kurasawa, I make 105 00:11:05.850 --> 00:11:11.049 mad films. K I don't make films, but if I did, they'd 106 00:11:11.090 --> 00:11:16.850 have a Samurai. Gotta get a set of better clubs. Going to find 107 00:11:18.049 --> 00:11:24.240 the kind with tiny nubs just so my irons aren't always flying off the backswing. 108 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:31.000 Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon, because that cartoon has got the 109 00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:37.429 boom. Animebabes, they make me think the wrong thing. How can I 110 00:11:37.590 --> 00:11:43.710 help it if I think you're funny when you're aad trying hard not to smile, 111 00:11:43.149 --> 00:11:48.059 though I feel bad. I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a 112 00:11:48.179 --> 00:11:52.299 funeral. Can understand what I mean? You soon will. I have a 113 00:11:52.419 --> 00:11:58.899 tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve. I have a history of losing 114 00:12:00.019 --> 00:12:05.809 my shirt. It's been one week since you looked at me, dropped your 115 00:12:05.850 --> 00:12:13.210 arms to the sides and said I'm sorry. Five days since I've laughed at 116 00:12:13.250 --> 00:12:18.320 you and said you just did just what I thought you were gonna do. 117 00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:26.919 Three days since the living room we realized we're both to blame, but what 118 00:12:26.120 --> 00:12:33.990 can we do? Yesterday you just smiled at me, because it'll still be 119 00:12:35.389 --> 00:12:43.590 two days till we say we're sorry. It'll still be two days till we 120 00:12:43.789 --> 00:12:56.700 say with Sabby Birch Mount Stadium, home of the Robbie. Never have I 121 00:12:56.820 --> 00:13:01.129 been so disappointed with women of wearing clothing. Not any rate. You are 122 00:13:01.250 --> 00:13:05.009 all welcome for that. A ear worm that has been firmly implanted in your 123 00:13:05.129 --> 00:13:11.610 brains. Let's check in with murder girl to see what on. Second thought. 124 00:13:11.090 --> 00:13:16.000 No, let's all pray that this has all been some crazy fever dream 125 00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:33.350 and we all wake up tomorrow in a better place. They lived next to 126 00:13:33.509 --> 00:13:37.909 a beautiful garden filled with the most lovely plants, not the least of which 127 00:13:39.750 --> 00:13:46.340 was Ratabita. It's a kind of flower that's like if a sunflower center just 128 00:13:46.460 --> 00:13:50.700 kind of pushed its way out and it's petals bent backwards. It's pretty, 129 00:13:52.659 --> 00:13:56.409 you know, weird. Anyway, as she pined for a child, she 130 00:13:56.450 --> 00:14:01.370 would gaze out the window into the garden. Though it was beautiful, it 131 00:14:01.529 --> 00:14:07.370 made her heart ache. All these precious growing things and she had nothing of 132 00:14:07.529 --> 00:14:13.759 her own to grow, to cultivate, to make lovely. But one afternoon 133 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:20.320 she noticed Ratabita blooming and was struck by just how different, how gorgeous it 134 00:14:20.559 --> 00:14:26.350 was, standing out even among the other plants, which, to be fair, 135 00:14:26.429 --> 00:14:28.590 were mostly potatoes and cabbage. Look, it was old times and people 136 00:14:28.669 --> 00:14:33.990 needed to eat. She turned to her husband. Husband, I need to 137 00:14:35.149 --> 00:14:37.740 eat one of the rat a bit of flowers. I must. I will 138 00:14:37.820 --> 00:14:41.899 die if I don't taste it. Her husband looked at her as if she 139 00:14:43.059 --> 00:14:48.500 were not my love. The garden belongs to a witch. I dare not 140 00:14:48.580 --> 00:14:54.090 venture in to retrieve a flower. Oh, husband, you care nothing for 141 00:14:54.289 --> 00:14:58.649 me. She curled into herself and wept. She was kind of a drama 142 00:14:58.649 --> 00:15:03.690 queen. Her husband, knowing there was no way around it, sighed and 143 00:15:03.970 --> 00:15:09.919 crept into the witch's garden, sneaking back with the purloined bud. His wife 144 00:15:09.960 --> 00:15:15.399 devoured it hungrily and raved. It was the most amazing thing she had ever 145 00:15:15.480 --> 00:15:20.429 eaten. Her husband got a nice handy Jay that evening, but the following 146 00:15:20.429 --> 00:15:26.710 day she began vomiting profusely. At first her husband thought it was because of 147 00:15:26.750 --> 00:15:33.029 the plant she'd eaten, but it turns out she was pregnant. Maybe that's 148 00:15:33.029 --> 00:15:37.539 why she had the weird craving to begin with, but as pregnant women are 149 00:15:37.700 --> 00:15:43.940 wont to do, her craving returned. Husband, I need to eat another 150 00:15:45.019 --> 00:15:48.659 of the red a bit of flowers. I must, I will die if 151 00:15:48.659 --> 00:15:54.570 I don't taste it. Her husband didn't resist this time. He got an 152 00:15:54.570 --> 00:15:58.850 away with it once. What's one more flower? He crept once more into 153 00:15:58.850 --> 00:16:03.840 the witch's garden, plucked the bud and returned to his life, who ravenously 154 00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:10.360 devoured it. It was even more delicious than the first. The US got 155 00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:14.240 a fairly decent blowy that night, but when his wife, the next day 156 00:16:14.440 --> 00:16:18.509 once more demanded another ratabita flower, he started to worry. She might have 157 00:16:18.629 --> 00:16:25.429 Pika like. These are flowers, but they're not exactly food, you know. 158 00:16:26.549 --> 00:16:30.509 But he was a decent dude and crapped once more into the witch's garden. 159 00:16:30.870 --> 00:16:36.580 But this twilight was different. The witch was actually there, tending to 160 00:16:36.620 --> 00:16:41.539 her carrots and notice to the men creeping like the SA squatch towards the Radabida. 161 00:16:41.779 --> 00:16:48.129 Yo, she cried, you have been stealing my Radbida. Oh Old 162 00:16:48.210 --> 00:16:52.289 Hag, forgive me, I have a pregnant wife. She has had the 163 00:16:52.330 --> 00:17:00.210 most profound yearnings to eat the flowers. The witch looked concerned. Ratabida was 164 00:17:00.370 --> 00:17:06.279 beautiful, but it was an exactly food. You know. Now this which 165 00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:11.599 wasn't unreasonable. She'd never been pregnant due to prophylaxis, but I mean, 166 00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:15.390 she got it, and so she proposed to compromise, like which is often 167 00:17:15.390 --> 00:17:22.269 due. All right, dear man, I understand, take as much rather 168 00:17:22.430 --> 00:17:27.589 bed as you like. Only promise me the child Yo I've carries will be 169 00:17:27.829 --> 00:17:33.579 mine. His wife would have balked the idea but, like I said, 170 00:17:34.180 --> 00:17:38.619 he was indifferent, and it's not like he had to tell her he could 171 00:17:38.700 --> 00:17:42.660 deal with that later. So he agreed and took an armful of Ratabida to 172 00:17:42.740 --> 00:17:48.809 his wife, who practically inhaled it. He can't reverse cow girl. That 173 00:17:48.890 --> 00:17:53.849 night so worth it. But when his wife Berth to their child, a 174 00:17:55.009 --> 00:18:00.720 beautiful baby girl, the which appeared with a delighted smirk on her face at 175 00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:04.480 deals, a deal, she said, and scooped up the child, she 176 00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:08.599 was gone in a blink of an eye. He didn't get late that night, 177 00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:15.630 or for like a couple months. The witch had wanted this child for 178 00:18:15.710 --> 00:18:22.069 a reason. If you eat Ratabida while pregnant, your child will have enchanted 179 00:18:22.430 --> 00:18:29.500 healing hair. Remember, these stories are entirely made up, and so she 180 00:18:29.619 --> 00:18:33.420 took the child to a very tall tower. The girl grew into a lovely 181 00:18:33.539 --> 00:18:41.220 girl and then a lovely young woman, but she'd never been able to leave 182 00:18:41.259 --> 00:18:45.289 the tower. I know this sounds like Rapunzel, and it is, except 183 00:18:45.450 --> 00:18:51.369 her name wasn't Rapunzel, it was Ratabida, and she was stuck in this 184 00:18:51.490 --> 00:18:55.690 tower. Her witch of a mother never gave her a hair cut because, 185 00:18:55.690 --> 00:18:57.240 I guess, like Samson, if she'd got a pair, her power to 186 00:18:57.240 --> 00:19:03.400 as a weird whatever. Basically, what it meant was that by the time 187 00:19:03.480 --> 00:19:07.359 she was eighteen, she had the neck of an NFL lineman thick her even 188 00:19:08.839 --> 00:19:14.430 she dreamed of escaping her tall prison. But what could she do? It's 189 00:19:14.549 --> 00:19:18.670 not like a handsome prince was just going to get lost and wander across it, 190 00:19:18.309 --> 00:19:25.579 hear her then climb her hair. That's preposterous. No, she was 191 00:19:25.619 --> 00:19:29.900 going to have to use your own ingenuity, and that, my friends, 192 00:19:30.099 --> 00:19:36.099 is where her eighteen years created their own solution. You see, this was 193 00:19:36.180 --> 00:19:41.089 the old times. They didn't have flashable toilets. So where'd she been shitting 194 00:19:41.130 --> 00:19:47.049 all these years? Out The window, of course, kind of like Londoners 195 00:19:47.089 --> 00:19:49.609 did over the Thames before, shitting with a private thing. I know, 196 00:19:49.849 --> 00:19:56.680 gross right, but what else was she going to do. And so as 197 00:19:56.799 --> 00:20:00.480 she wistfully gazed out the window, the other window, she wasn't immune to 198 00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:07.039 this stench of Shit. It occurred to her that her shit piled stacked up 199 00:20:07.039 --> 00:20:11.269 quite a bit. Her witch mother would be furious, but she could slide 200 00:20:11.269 --> 00:20:18.630 right out of the tower, and so, stealing herself, she threw her 201 00:20:18.670 --> 00:20:22.500 hair into a bun. I mean, I was like, I can't, 202 00:20:22.900 --> 00:20:26.900 I can't and I won't look. She had a big neck, a really, 203 00:20:26.819 --> 00:20:33.579 really big neck, and she slid down the shed pile. Nobody knows 204 00:20:33.619 --> 00:20:37.410 what happened to her after that. The fairy tale talks about a prince and 205 00:20:37.690 --> 00:20:41.210 knocking her up by holding hnd or some shit. Then the witch gets pissed 206 00:20:41.289 --> 00:20:45.289 and gouges out his eyes and puts me in the desert to wander, and 207 00:20:45.450 --> 00:20:48.450 she's cast out there as well, just in different spot, with the twins. 208 00:20:48.569 --> 00:20:52.680 She bertht he finds her true lost tears, he'll Asia. They returned 209 00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:56.759 the palace and wed and rolled together for a long time, hen happily ever 210 00:20:56.839 --> 00:21:00.920 after and whatever. But that didn't happen. She was just a young woman 211 00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:07.109 who didn't cut her hair and the back of whose dress was covered with shit. 212 00:21:07.750 --> 00:21:14.150 It wasn't ideal, but you know, maybe she'd find an orphan raised 213 00:21:14.150 --> 00:21:26.339 by a dragon at some point out heat care. And there you have it. 214 00:21:27.220 --> 00:21:33.730 Another week down, another failed attempt at entertainment. Remember to visit our 215 00:21:33.809 --> 00:21:37.970 patreon. We have opened up the DTA founder's Club where you can get full 216 00:21:38.089 --> 00:21:42.569 behind the scenes access to the show, as well as exclusive much every three 217 00:21:42.690 --> 00:21:48.839 months. Space is limited, so act now. Down to folk's brought to 218 00:21:48.920 --> 00:21:56.200 you once again by the tedious trio and is transmitted exclusively by the pod fix 219 00:21:56.279 --> 00:22:03.630 network. This is pod fix at pot fix networkcom and down to full ponline 220 00:22:03.710 --> 00:22:10.349 at DTF Storiescom. Until next time for the Ministry of augmented something, something 221 00:22:10.670 --> 00:22:19.819 and a K, this is Lloyd Warrington signing off. You've been listening to 222 00:22:19.900 --> 00:22:23.900 a podcast of the pod fix network. Discover more audible gym's like this at 223 00:22:23.940 --> 00:22:29.380 pod fix networkcom. Make sure to catch up to the minute networks and Aigan's 224 00:22:29.420 --> 00:22:33.809 by following at pod fix on twitter, official underscore pod fix on Instagram, 225 00:22:33.210 --> 00:22:37.450 at pod fix network on Facebook, and make sure to subscribe to pod fix 226 00:22:37.529 --> 00:22:42.450 presents wherever you choose to find podcasts. The pod fix network artist owned the 227 00:22:42.529 --> 00:23:00.829 love. You have three new voice messages. First message sent on Monday August 228 00:23:00.950 --> 00:23:21.259 second at forty five am and deleted. Next message sent on Monday augous, 229 00:23:21.299 --> 00:23:30.130 this second at eight hundred and five am. Fire, and your coverage would 230 00:23:30.210 --> 00:23:37.970 make you financially responsible for deleted. Next message sent on Tuesday August three, 231 00:23:37.009 --> 00:23:41.720 at nine hundred and nine PM. This is a message from two girls on 232 00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:48.240 a Ben. We are calling regarding our dear friend and benchling, Fred Jordan. 233 00:23:48.680 --> 00:23:52.759 For Jordan Gordon, however, he is being kept in your realm. 234 00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:59.309 We are coming for you. We will come to claim our benchling. We 235 00:23:59.430 --> 00:24:03.910 will set him free. Fear Us, for we are fearful, and not 236 00:24:03.150 --> 00:24:10.660 just to procrastinating writers see on a bench somewhere doing nothing. We will come 237 00:24:10.779 --> 00:24:15.380 for him and you will pay. The benchling Liberation Movement has begun. The 238 00:24:15.539 --> 00:24:23.220 benchling are gathering and organizing to free our comrades for Jordan. Message saved. 239 00:24:25.289 --> 00:24:30.289 Message forwarded to the voice mailbox of Lloyd. You have no new messages. 240 00:24:36.890 --> 00:24:48.480 US forward as wife. Sir,