June 9, 2021

Feet

Feet

Feet, bad smells, and cottage cheese...sounds like what we at M.A.S.S.K. call "Wednesday".


Feet, bad smells, and cottage cheese...sounds like what we at M.A.S.S.K. call "Wednesday".  

Guest WriterOur guest writer this week was Kayla Ray Tidwell.  Sharpie is a Benchling for Two Girls On a Bench - The Podcast. Follow her on Twitter @KaylaStorytella You can still find 2 Girls on a Bench on twitter @2GirlsOnaBench too. 

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About UsWhat happens when you take three people,  put them inside a Secret Government Agency and give them access to the largest collection of folklore, fairytales, and legends that have (n)ever existed? 

Down To Folk is manufactured by M.A.S.S.K. The Ministry of Augmented Something Something, and a K. 

**Down to Folk is a work of comedy fiction.  The views and opinions related within should be taken as such, and are not the views and opinions of the creators, writers, or performers.  No children were harmed while creating this podcast, although, a few deaths have occurred, but that 'twas the Wendigo I reckon.**  

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Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.359 --> 00:00:09.230 Greetings, hello and good day. I am Lloyd Warrington and you are accidentally 2 00:00:09.230 --> 00:00:14.230 listening to another episode of down to fork. If you are just discovering us, 3 00:00:14.509 --> 00:00:18.829 you probably should have stopped looking for podcasts now. Your life will never 4 00:00:18.910 --> 00:00:26.420 be the same. You'll see this episode may contain dark humor and horrific scenarios. 5 00:00:27.339 --> 00:00:31.579 However, I can personally guarantee to you that it is one hundred and 6 00:00:31.699 --> 00:00:37.250 ten percent entertainment free. If you are listening with children, I honestly don't 7 00:00:37.289 --> 00:00:43.409 care. Those little ships are your problem, not mine. Welcome one and 8 00:00:43.530 --> 00:00:58.719 all too yet another happiest places on Earth, called down to fork. Women's 9 00:00:58.759 --> 00:01:03.520 mingled feet were turning up all over the state. Ten murders in ten weeks, 10 00:01:03.159 --> 00:01:07.310 all committed with an axe. Where was the rest of the body and, 11 00:01:07.469 --> 00:01:14.269 more importantly, who was terrifying the citizens of Florida? Despite the various 12 00:01:14.269 --> 00:01:19.019 clues, police had no Leeds. It was a time before DNA evidence was 13 00:01:19.099 --> 00:01:23.620 really sophisticated enough to clean much from the findings. Each dump site was in 14 00:01:23.700 --> 00:01:29.780 the parking lot of a strip mall in plain view. The CSI team did 15 00:01:29.939 --> 00:01:33.810 find a few pieces of evidence, but the clues were more baffling than helpful. 16 00:01:34.849 --> 00:01:38.129 The discoveries were all made on a Thursday. There is no blood found 17 00:01:38.170 --> 00:01:42.930 on sight. Strands of hair appeared at each crime scene, but each were 18 00:01:42.930 --> 00:01:48.719 synthetic and different colors, links and textures, the type you would find in 19 00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:53.079 wigs. And at each scene the sinister calling card was left behind, a 20 00:01:53.239 --> 00:02:00.280 price tag from macy's. They could do nothing but scratch their heads, but 21 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:05.390 there were only three days until Thursday rolled around again. It was time to 22 00:02:05.469 --> 00:02:10.870 call in for backup. Agent Shane Williams was a strapping young man with a 23 00:02:10.990 --> 00:02:15.740 pinch on for the drink. He was a plain clothes detective, though the 24 00:02:15.819 --> 00:02:20.300 term was a bit of an oxymoron. He was known to wear a devastatingly 25 00:02:20.300 --> 00:02:24.620 large Ponn show everywhere he went, despite his proclivities to being between buzzed and 26 00:02:24.780 --> 00:02:29.939 completely drunk on the job, he was their last hope in stopping the killer, 27 00:02:30.689 --> 00:02:36.210 though he didn't know it yet. He knew this town and that one 28 00:02:36.969 --> 00:02:40.330 and was fairly familiar with a few others. He'd at least heard of all 29 00:02:40.409 --> 00:02:46.000 of them, and he definitely shopped at a macy's, though he couldn't quite 30 00:02:46.039 --> 00:02:52.319 recollect when. No, wait, it was blooming Dale's. He thought anyway. 31 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:58.319 He leaned back against the brick wall with one boot up, dragging on 32 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:02.229 his cigarette. As the police approached him, he didn't even look up. 33 00:03:04.710 --> 00:03:09.069 This is about those feed ain't it? The officer's exchanged looks. Damn, 34 00:03:09.150 --> 00:03:15.500 he was good, Shane. We need your help. The agent paused for 35 00:03:15.539 --> 00:03:21.060 a moment, taking another lingering puff from the cigarette in his hand. Before 36 00:03:21.139 --> 00:03:25.539 flicking it he turned and stirred over to them, eyes and narrowed, knowing 37 00:03:25.620 --> 00:03:31.210 the grim task that awaited him. He wasn't glaring, he was simply so 38 00:03:31.409 --> 00:03:37.810 hammered the sunlight hurt his eyes. Murder was nothing new to him. In 39 00:03:37.969 --> 00:03:39.849 his short time on the job, he felt like he'd seen it all, 40 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:46.039 and everyone knew and respected his work. He was a man with dogged determination 41 00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:51.479 and he could whip up a hell of a cocktail, as he often did 42 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:55.189 in the department lounge when he was on a case. He drew up uncomfortably 43 00:03:55.270 --> 00:03:59.990 close to the pear who addressed him, smelling the booze on his breath. 44 00:04:00.229 --> 00:04:04.830 I'll handle it, but only if I can bring billy on. One of 45 00:04:04.870 --> 00:04:09.870 the officers glanced up to the sky, already knowing just what this meant. 46 00:04:11.099 --> 00:04:15.459 The other simply mouthed the word fock under his breath, but he already knew 47 00:04:15.579 --> 00:04:21.300 that. Say Yes, so did they. Billy blast was a wellknown true 48 00:04:21.339 --> 00:04:26.089 crime author, the kind who would go to whatever links necessary to get his 49 00:04:26.170 --> 00:04:31.490 story. He needled his way into investigations, harassed officers and witnesses alike and 50 00:04:31.730 --> 00:04:39.399 one set even stolen CCTV footage. The police hated billy blast, but if 51 00:04:39.439 --> 00:04:43.800 that's what it took to bring down their murderer, well they just had to 52 00:04:43.879 --> 00:04:47.120 let the legend work. And so the two embarked on a journey they knew 53 00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:53.430 would be arduous and gruesome. They knew what they were getting into, or 54 00:04:53.870 --> 00:04:59.069 at least they presumed they did. Shane would drink to that much, but 55 00:04:59.149 --> 00:05:03.430 they never expected what would happen next. Right across the street from with them 56 00:05:03.470 --> 00:05:09.180 and stood planning their course of action, a waiter walked briskly across telling them 57 00:05:09.259 --> 00:05:13.939 Shane had a call. He sipped from his flask and calmly followed him into 58 00:05:13.939 --> 00:05:18.100 the restaurant. Billy just on his heels as he picked up the receiver and 59 00:05:18.139 --> 00:05:23.730 muttered a gruff hello. The voice on the other line spoke. He did, 60 00:05:23.850 --> 00:05:29.889 Williams, I'm so draw for roads to your reputation proceeds here. What 61 00:05:30.009 --> 00:05:33.089 do you want? A bunk looks more or not. Are Of what you 62 00:05:33.329 --> 00:05:39.560 want? Clothes and Rulliams, for the name Brunder may mean anything to you. 63 00:05:40.959 --> 00:05:46.399 Jane's heart dropped into his stomach. Brenda may He swigged from a nearby 64 00:05:46.439 --> 00:05:50.350 pitcher of hoods, followed by a not for liquid courage. The waiter attempted 65 00:05:50.350 --> 00:05:54.709 to tap him on the shoulder and let him know this was a non drinking 66 00:05:54.709 --> 00:05:59.189 establishment and he would have to take his picture outside, but they'll look on 67 00:05:59.310 --> 00:06:02.550 his face told the young server it was probably not in his best interests. 68 00:06:03.230 --> 00:06:06.500 Listen here, you son of a bitch, if you've done anything to her, 69 00:06:06.540 --> 00:06:14.579 laughter erupted on the other end of the line. Arm Contrary, she's 70 00:06:14.660 --> 00:06:17.730 completely fine. There she darting, seemed to care for the dark. Poke 71 00:06:18.649 --> 00:06:23.810 two dogs. Who wouldn't do quiet? Sure, such a pretty mouth. 72 00:06:25.129 --> 00:06:29.769 Then there was nothing but dial tone. It was closing in on Wednesday night 73 00:06:29.810 --> 00:06:33.720 by now, and Shane and billy both knew what that meant. Happy Hour. 74 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:40.480 Billy didn't drink. He didn't smoke or eat meat or wear leather either. 75 00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:46.680 He was extremely conscientious, having adopted three rescue dogs and a rescue cat 76 00:06:46.189 --> 00:06:53.670 and campaigned against global climate change. Also, he did math, because Florida. 77 00:06:55.310 --> 00:06:58.949 As Shane started in on the sauce, billy pulled open his Satchel and 78 00:06:59.069 --> 00:07:03.740 handed a tattered shoe to his partner. Shane peered the item intently before lifting 79 00:07:03.819 --> 00:07:10.100 his eyes to his friend. The Hell you get this? Billy start his 80 00:07:10.180 --> 00:07:15.250 ice water and told him I found it in the evidence locker. Jane's Eyes 81 00:07:15.290 --> 00:07:20.730 Grew Whiter. That's pretty extreme even for you, Bill. It was found 82 00:07:20.850 --> 00:07:27.290 at the Miami dump side. Any idea what it means? Jane Sat back 83 00:07:27.329 --> 00:07:32.199 and closed his eyes. I reckon. Well, I reckon it means our 84 00:07:32.199 --> 00:07:38.839 killers missing a shoe. A light flickered in billy's eyes. That was it. 85 00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:43.959 That's what they needed. But could they find the one showed man in 86 00:07:44.040 --> 00:07:48.029 time? Based on the abduction side of Brenda May, Jane Determined they should 87 00:07:48.069 --> 00:07:51.870 scout out the local mall parking lot in the early morning hours, watching the 88 00:07:51.990 --> 00:07:57.629 macy's. It wasn't really solid police work, but he had done a great 89 00:07:57.629 --> 00:08:01.620 deal on hunches that had paid off in the past. It was just pre 90 00:08:01.740 --> 00:08:05.939 dawn when they noticed the strange form moving soundlessly under the parking lot lights. 91 00:08:07.860 --> 00:08:11.819 He opened some type of Duffel bag and then threw something down before looking around 92 00:08:11.860 --> 00:08:18.089 briefly and hurrying away. Jane couldn't hold back any more. He had to 93 00:08:18.129 --> 00:08:22.649 vomit, but then he ran, expertly, leaping over the fire water he 94 00:08:22.730 --> 00:08:26.920 had just regurgitated. In barely over a minute he had tackled the assailant to 95 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:33.919 the ground. The suspect now apprehended, he led him back to whatever had 96 00:08:33.960 --> 00:08:39.600 been deposited on the ground. Billy was already shaking his head. The math, 97 00:08:39.720 --> 00:08:45.149 you know. But they were also too late. Another mangled pair of 98 00:08:45.230 --> 00:08:50.309 feet, another macy's price tag. His lip quivering but his jocklinch tight. 99 00:08:50.750 --> 00:08:56.019 Shane marched to the man, to the police station. Well, kind of. 100 00:08:56.059 --> 00:09:01.419 He Alf leaned on him. Jane was ripp roaring, throwed, but 101 00:09:01.659 --> 00:09:07.899 who could blame him? He just found his sweethearts feet and this bastard was 102 00:09:07.980 --> 00:09:13.490 going away for a life. That afternoon the men stood gravely quiet in the 103 00:09:13.570 --> 00:09:16.570 medical examiner's office. Well, DOC, if you run the talk screen. 104 00:09:16.610 --> 00:09:22.690 Yet he didn't answer, just cocked his head to the side. I know 105 00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:30.159 it's difficult without blood. This is the eleventh pair of feet. How come 106 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:35.039 we got no answers. The doctor looked puzzled. Sorry, doc, I 107 00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:41.110 don't mean to roughly your feathers and that's what it hid him. Shane ran 108 00:09:41.190 --> 00:09:45.070 to the preserved feet, pulling them from their drawers one after another. He 109 00:09:45.309 --> 00:09:50.830 picked them up and realized they were all mannequin feet. No wonder the cut 110 00:09:50.909 --> 00:09:54.419 was so precise. It was the logical attachment site after fitting the form with 111 00:09:54.580 --> 00:10:03.460 pants in a department store like blooming Dale's or or macie's. The tags. 112 00:10:03.580 --> 00:10:11.490 But there was no murderer than who? Brenda May, that wily little minx. 113 00:10:11.129 --> 00:10:16.850 She must have orchestrated this whole Ding, and he was right. She 114 00:10:16.970 --> 00:10:22.159 did. She was nuttier than a goddamn fruit cake. But how had the 115 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:26.519 Manikin feed been mistaken for real human feet? While that, my friends, 116 00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:33.879 is a very strange tale indeed. You see, the doctor very literally had 117 00:10:33.879 --> 00:10:39.429 ruffled feathers. It was as Jane watched him it dawned on the strapping young 118 00:10:39.549 --> 00:10:43.830 agent that the doctor wasn't a doctor at all. The doctor was a pigeon. 119 00:10:46.070 --> 00:10:50.139 Jane watched the bird as he shed himself right then and there, as 120 00:10:50.179 --> 00:11:01.860 he often did wherever he went. Well then, I guess Ariel has just 121 00:11:01.100 --> 00:11:07.289 given up too. Speaking of people who have just given up, Chad has 122 00:11:07.370 --> 00:11:11.730 recruited yet another benchling from the two girls on a bench. This story was 123 00:11:11.850 --> 00:11:18.169 written by in turn sharpy. Are you seriously telling me that none of these 124 00:11:18.289 --> 00:11:24.519 benching people have real names? Whatever? Go to the fire pit, listen 125 00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:39.629 to your little story and then go away. Little Muffy Hubbard was an ordinary 126 00:11:39.909 --> 00:11:48.460 looking child who loved cottage cheese. She loved it so much she would occasionally 127 00:11:48.220 --> 00:11:54.580 steal a large container of it from the grocery store. She would take it 128 00:11:54.700 --> 00:12:01.409 home and just dig into it with a spoon. She wouldn't pay for it 129 00:12:01.690 --> 00:12:09.570 because she had neither a job nor an allowance. Her favorite place to enjoy 130 00:12:09.610 --> 00:12:20.240 it was on a small Ottoman with a plush overstuffed cushioned top, which she 131 00:12:20.279 --> 00:12:28.440 would use as a short stool. She would just sit on her stool by 132 00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:35.309 the window, eating cottage cheese and dream about a bigger and better life. 133 00:12:37.350 --> 00:12:46.820 One day, had about age ten, Muffy was doing this very thing, 134 00:12:46.539 --> 00:12:56.419 eating spoonful after spoonful of cottage cheese, just wiling away the afternoon alone in 135 00:12:56.500 --> 00:13:05.330 the house, because she was a lad etchkey kid and her parents were both 136 00:13:05.370 --> 00:13:16.080 away at work and as she ate, she day dreamed and she noticed movement 137 00:13:16.879 --> 00:13:20.120 out of the corner of her eye. She looked down at the cushion on 138 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:28.669 her stool and saw a small, hairy, eight legged creature crawling toward her 139 00:13:28.710 --> 00:13:35.230 leg. And muffy screamed as she jumped to her feet, dropping the container 140 00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:41.460 of the Kurds and and a way and in her cottage she's spilled across the 141 00:13:41.620 --> 00:13:48.220 floor and a surge of more little black spiders came rushing from every direction at 142 00:13:48.299 --> 00:13:56.889 the newfound food. And muffy was horrified and she screamed again and she ran 143 00:13:56.009 --> 00:14:00.169 out of the House and she ran down the street, turned the corner and 144 00:14:00.210 --> 00:14:05.009 ran some more. She ran all the way to the grocery store where she 145 00:14:05.090 --> 00:14:11.519 would go to, you know, still cottage cheese, but she wasn't in 146 00:14:11.559 --> 00:14:16.679 the mood for cottage cheese now. The clerk was outside helping a customer with 147 00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:22.440 groceries and saw the little girl screaming and running and crying and he knelt down 148 00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:28.110 and he asked her, well, what's wrong, and she was way too 149 00:14:28.190 --> 00:14:33.070 afraid to speak. She didn't want him to figure out that, you know, 150 00:14:33.269 --> 00:14:39.419 she had been stealing their cottage cheese. So she simply shook her head 151 00:14:39.500 --> 00:14:45.740 and ran off some more. Muffy ran to the city park on the next 152 00:14:45.779 --> 00:14:54.250 block and and it had hid in the in the ladies bathroom, and there 153 00:14:54.450 --> 00:15:01.090 she sulked and cried until finally she fell asleep at a just absolute exhaustion. 154 00:15:01.250 --> 00:15:07.720 And muffy slept there all afternoon and all evening and all through the night. 155 00:15:07.799 --> 00:15:11.559 And the next day she woke up and she knew she had to go home. 156 00:15:13.519 --> 00:15:18.639 She had to tell her parents what had happened. So muffy walked back 157 00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:26.909 slowly, unwilling to run because she was still afraid of seeing the spiders again. 158 00:15:28.029 --> 00:15:33.230 And and they had caught her by surprise. And you know she she 159 00:15:33.429 --> 00:15:39.740 walked past the grocery storm. She tried real hard not to not to look 160 00:15:39.820 --> 00:15:45.100 directly at anybody, hoping they wouldn't recognize her. And and she reached her 161 00:15:45.139 --> 00:15:50.009 street and she saw her house, but it wasn't there anymore. Instead, 162 00:15:50.049 --> 00:16:00.769 muffy found a large red and orange tent. What happened to her home? 163 00:16:02.970 --> 00:16:07.799 Muffy ran to the tent, fearful that her parents had seen the spiders too, 164 00:16:07.879 --> 00:16:14.759 and ran away just like she did. But unlike Muffy, the parents 165 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:19.309 took the house with them. She had to find out who lived here now, 166 00:16:19.389 --> 00:16:26.950 who lived in this tent, and if they even knew where her parents 167 00:16:26.990 --> 00:16:33.379 went. Muffy reached the edge of the tent and pulled up the bottom so 168 00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:41.259 she crawled under and inside she saw her house. Muffy ran excitedly to the 169 00:16:41.419 --> 00:16:49.610 door and opened it and it was dark, it was cold and it smelled 170 00:16:51.009 --> 00:16:56.769 funny. I mean it smelt really funny, like like the old like that 171 00:16:59.049 --> 00:17:11.599 gross burning smell when the vacuum cleaner gets clogged. But her parents were gone. 172 00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:21.630 And the worst yet is there little spiders everywhere. The muffy shrieked. 173 00:17:22.230 --> 00:17:30.660 I realized the spider's we're moving. WERE THEY ASLEEP? Muffy didn't like it 174 00:17:30.740 --> 00:17:40.299 at all. Muffy went further inside, going back to her favorite spot by 175 00:17:40.339 --> 00:17:44.849 the window. The cottage cheese was was gone. Thank God, because that 176 00:17:44.930 --> 00:17:49.609 would have really stunk. The container was gone and but luckily her stool was 177 00:17:49.690 --> 00:17:59.440 still there and muffy picked it up and and if she did her her head 178 00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:03.279 got woozy from the smell, like not like rotten cottage cheese, this that 179 00:18:03.559 --> 00:18:08.880 like that funky vacuum smell. Anyway, she started to piece together what had 180 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:18.069 happened. The spiders must have eaten her parents, obviously, and they covered 181 00:18:18.150 --> 00:18:25.430 the house with a tent to hide the evidence, like you do. That 182 00:18:25.710 --> 00:18:33.619 was all the convincing that muffy needed to get out. So, with her 183 00:18:33.740 --> 00:18:41.609 stool in hand, she crawled back out from under the tent and carefully stayed 184 00:18:41.650 --> 00:18:48.130 quiet not to wake the spiders, and then said goodbye to the House and 185 00:18:48.329 --> 00:18:55.920 goodbye to her parents and goodbye all the scary ass spiders that had eaten them. 186 00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:03.720 And after wandering alone, with tears in her eyes in her stool in 187 00:19:03.799 --> 00:19:11.309 her hand, Muffy was picked up by the authorities. They questioned her many 188 00:19:11.349 --> 00:19:18.549 times about who she was, who are family was, but Muffy didn't want 189 00:19:18.549 --> 00:19:25.140 to answer their questions because she knew. She knew they would laugh at her 190 00:19:26.299 --> 00:19:32.740 and if she told them the truth about spiders eating her mom and dad and 191 00:19:32.900 --> 00:19:41.130 putting a tent over it to cover it up, she wouldn't even tell them 192 00:19:41.210 --> 00:19:52.769 her name. So the authorities decided to put her in a foster home while 193 00:19:52.809 --> 00:20:00.200 they sorted things out. Bunny years. The foster house was run by an 194 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:06.960 old lady who cared for seven other children. The family was without a father 195 00:20:07.029 --> 00:20:14.430 and the old lady didn't work. Instead she relied on checks that the government 196 00:20:14.509 --> 00:20:21.190 gave her for caring for children, and in order to stretch out her budget, 197 00:20:22.019 --> 00:20:27.900 the old woman would make different condensed soups that came highly recommended from some 198 00:20:29.220 --> 00:20:33.700 podcast and would add three times the recommended amount of water, never milk, 199 00:20:36.210 --> 00:20:41.250 turning it into, you know, just like slightly more than broth. And 200 00:20:41.369 --> 00:20:45.890 there wasn't even any bread to go with it. And the children would complain 201 00:20:45.970 --> 00:20:52.000 about being hungry, but the old woman would not listen. She would simply 202 00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:57.359 brush the children away, shoe shoe, and if the children continued to complain, 203 00:20:57.480 --> 00:21:03.309 the old woman would whip the children into submission before sending them to bed, 204 00:21:03.950 --> 00:21:08.349 all with silent tears running down their face. That was not the home 205 00:21:08.390 --> 00:21:12.990 muffy wanted, so for the second time in her life, she ran away. 206 00:21:14.589 --> 00:21:18.299 And as Muffy grew older, she'd made her way through life by finding 207 00:21:18.700 --> 00:21:29.700 occasional work, then later surviving by dumpster diving and shoplifting. It was much 208 00:21:29.740 --> 00:21:33.849 easier for a child to earn money under the table doing yard work and odd 209 00:21:33.890 --> 00:21:40.170 jobs then it was for an adult, which she learned as she grew older 210 00:21:40.410 --> 00:21:45.170 and out of her cute kid pays. Muffy, the runaway made her home 211 00:21:45.289 --> 00:21:52.119 in a building that was condemned and forgotten. She took one of its apartments 212 00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:57.599 for her own. Lived among a bunch of hoboes and drug addicts, and 213 00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:04.349 it was a cramped studio apartment, but that was all she needed. As 214 00:22:04.470 --> 00:22:11.509 long as she still had her favorite stool to sit on. Neighbors usually left 215 00:22:11.549 --> 00:22:18.819 her alone, and when she was an out scavenging, she would just stay 216 00:22:18.859 --> 00:22:23.140 at home in her apartment, sitting on her beat up, bold ass stool 217 00:22:25.019 --> 00:22:29.700 and daydream. She didn't socialize with the rest of the building. She wouldn't 218 00:22:29.700 --> 00:22:34.130 even tell them her name, but sometimes, when the hunting was good, 219 00:22:34.650 --> 00:22:38.809 she would share some of her food with them, and they responded by calling 220 00:22:38.849 --> 00:22:47.119 her old mother as an ironic term of endearment. Muffy huppard had become an 221 00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:52.839 expert treasure hunter when it came to surviving on her own, and it was 222 00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:59.750 on one of those treasure hunts that she met the last friend she would ever 223 00:22:59.869 --> 00:23:04.390 make. Muffy was going through trash cans in an alley behind a restaurant one 224 00:23:04.470 --> 00:23:11.309 evening when she heard a noise behind her. She froze in place, unsure 225 00:23:11.509 --> 00:23:17.859 of what awaited her. She knew the owners of the restaurant usually weren't very 226 00:23:17.900 --> 00:23:21.380 nice to people, you know, digging through their track, but no one 227 00:23:21.420 --> 00:23:26.809 yelled. So she turned cautiously around and looked, and staring back at her 228 00:23:27.289 --> 00:23:36.210 was a large gray dog with a curious look on his face. She approached 229 00:23:36.289 --> 00:23:41.079 the pooch cautiously. He let her come close and and flinched as she reached 230 00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:47.599 out to pet him, but eventually he let her fingers make contact and her 231 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:53.440 heart melted. Worried the dog would get her caught by the restaurant owner, 232 00:23:53.519 --> 00:23:59.869 muffy decided call it a night go home, and the dog followed her. 233 00:24:00.109 --> 00:24:04.910 And along the way the the dog would stop to smell something here or piss 234 00:24:06.029 --> 00:24:10.900 on something over there, but she continued on her way and he continued to 235 00:24:11.019 --> 00:24:15.980 follow and finally, when she got home, she brought the dog inside of 236 00:24:15.059 --> 00:24:18.740 her apartment and looked him over. You'll need a wash for sure, she 237 00:24:19.019 --> 00:24:25.329 said to him. Then her stomach growled, which made the dog's ears perk 238 00:24:25.369 --> 00:24:32.210 up. Are you hungry? The duck stared back wordless in the way that 239 00:24:32.769 --> 00:24:36.609 you know dogs do, and Muffy went over to the cupboard to get some 240 00:24:37.170 --> 00:24:41.599 old Turkey bones that she had scavenged months ago, but the cupboard was empty. 241 00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:47.799 One of the building neighbors must have come in and taken them. I'm 242 00:24:48.279 --> 00:24:52.990 I'm sorry, she told the dog. I don't have any bones for you 243 00:24:52.750 --> 00:24:57.150 or me, and she shrugged. No food, will have to find some 244 00:24:57.349 --> 00:25:04.549 tomorrow. And muffy then sat down on her treasured tufted stool and called the 245 00:25:04.630 --> 00:25:08.579 dog to her and the dog, her new best friend, came over. 246 00:25:10.180 --> 00:25:12.500 She reached out to pat him, but as she reached out to pat him, 247 00:25:12.900 --> 00:25:18.380 just as he did in the alley, the dog flinched. She tried 248 00:25:18.420 --> 00:25:22.369 again and he lunged forward, burying his teeth and he bitter in the neck 249 00:25:22.650 --> 00:25:29.170 and he tore her crowded artery and muffy Hubbard slump to the floor, gurgling, 250 00:25:30.289 --> 00:25:37.000 bleeding to death as the stray dog tore into her flesh, enjoying the 251 00:25:37.240 --> 00:25:49.549 first full meal that he had had in weeks. Wow, that one wasn't 252 00:25:49.630 --> 00:25:55.390 off bat. I'm still not a fun of these people named after an animates 253 00:25:55.430 --> 00:26:00.109 objects, but hey, you get what you pay for. The Mermaid broad 254 00:26:00.190 --> 00:26:04.660 from the malice podcast wrote and performed some sort of fetish peace. The story 255 00:26:04.700 --> 00:26:10.420 of Muffy Hubbard was written by our in turn, Kayla Ray Tidwell, sharpie. 256 00:26:11.180 --> 00:26:15.220 It was then sort of performed by that perfect package podcast Guy, the 257 00:26:15.380 --> 00:26:22.450 bold white one, not the Melanin forward funny one. Distribution is still provided 258 00:26:22.529 --> 00:26:29.690 by the pod fix network, at pod fix networkcom. DTF storiescom is the 259 00:26:29.769 --> 00:26:37.319 website DTF stories on social media. You knew that. If you somehow enjoy 260 00:26:37.519 --> 00:26:41.119 this abomination, you can support the show on Patreon, as well as en 261 00:26:41.160 --> 00:26:48.509 kofeecom. Links are in the show notes and a DTF storiescom. On behalf 262 00:26:48.549 --> 00:26:53.109 of the Ministry of augmented something, something and a k. This is nondescript 263 00:26:53.230 --> 00:27:02.059 British guy signing off. You've been listening to a podcast of the pod fix 264 00:27:02.140 --> 00:27:06.980 network. Discover more audible gems like this at pod fix networkcom. Make sure 265 00:27:07.019 --> 00:27:10.819 to catch up to the minute networks and Aigan's by following at pod fix on 266 00:27:10.859 --> 00:27:15.890 twitter, official underscore pod fix on Instagram, at pod fix network on Facebook, 267 00:27:15.369 --> 00:27:18.930 and make sure to subscribe to pod fix presents wherever you choose to find 268 00:27:19.009 --> 00:27:22.529 podcasts. The pod fix network artist own the love
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Kayla Ray Tidwell is a writer whose work has also appeared on the 2 Girls On A Bench podcast. In addition, she is passionate about dance cardio, and is a fanatic of both Zumba and Dance Dance Revolution for exercise and fun. When being completely unproductive she can be found online on Twitter sharing her charcoal grilling exploits and searching out new puns to inflict upon an unsuspecting world.